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When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Conception

Unsure of babys father

64 replies

Chojame123 · 29/03/2019 05:28

I'm in desperate need for help and I have no one else to talk to.
I am currently 13 weeks and 2 days (ultrasound scan) or 12 weeks 2 day (gestational date). I've been told my due date is 02.10.19 the 1st day of my last period was 02.01.19 but I bleed for a shorter amount of days than usual.

I had sex with my partner 25.12.18 before last period then stupidly with another guy on 08.01.19 (I know)) please dont judge me).

I've had sex with my partner on 09.01.19 and everyday after that until the middle of the following week.

I've looked online with dates etc and what some people have said but it always keeps changing that it could be my partners or the other guy.bi really want it to be my partners so anything before 08.01.19 is preferable or after 12.01.19.

Please is anyone able to help I'd like to know this before it gets too late

OP posts:

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Elmo311 · 29/03/2019 05:36

Bumping this for you even though I'm not sure of the answer . The dates are pretty close, in my opinion there isn't an obvious "he's the dad".
Good luck, you will probably get some hate for this post but i hope people try to actually help you!

MountainPeakGeek · 29/03/2019 05:43

Going by the ultrasound dates you conceived on Xmas day.

TwittleBee · 29/03/2019 05:50

Pretty confused as we conceived on Xmas Day and I have a due date 17.09 ?

Soontobe60 · 29/03/2019 05:54

Oh dear, this is going to get messy. It sounds like it could be either of them. I'm afraid you're only going to be able to find out once the baby is born, unless you have something like amniocentesis beforehand and ask them to check! I'm not even sure that's possible!
I'm guessing your partner doesn't have a clue, and that he would probably go ballistic if he found out?

TwittleBee · 29/03/2019 05:57

Going by your Ultrasound dates your fertile window would have been between the 7th and 13th January. So no clear answer I am sorry.

MountainPeakGeek · 29/03/2019 06:07

Oops. I forgot about knocking off the 2 weeks. I just worked out when 13wks and 2days prior to now would have been. That would not have been the date of conception, which would have been around a couple of weeks later. Sorry!

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 06:27

I'm confused myself this was what I was told at the clinic they said around Christmas day and I know before Jan I had sex with my partner on Christmas day well morning but when I've done online date checks it says 26th december

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 06:28

I know I will and honestly that doesn't bother me I just want to be sure before telling both. I really want it to be my partners and not the other dudes and everyone's so excited about it

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 06:28

Are you sure????

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 06:30

He would most definitely not be happy and tbh neither would I. And I'm against abortion either way but I really really want it to be his

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 06:30

Oh man...😔

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 06:32

How can they check with amniocentesis isnt that for like down syndrome e5c

LotsToThinkOf · 29/03/2019 06:32

Jame, conception doesn't happen immediately so it's likely it was the day after.

OP if you had a period after Xmas day then you weren't pregnant at that time, the January dates are too close to call at this point.

You need to wait until the baby is born, it may be obvious or you may need to test. Either way, don't let this spoil your pregnancy - this is your baby and whatever the situation you need to embrace it. Dwelling won't help and may affect how you bond, once the baby arrives you'll realise that - for you - it's not important. Be a bit selfish as you don't get this time back, deal with the issues later.

I hope you get the result you want.

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 06:32

A couple of weeks... do you by any chance know what dates.....

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 06:38

That's what I figured but the mideife/nurse told me you can be pregnant whilst bleeding and that, that period wasnt a 'real' period.... I didnt get that part

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 06:39

So could it of been that after my December period 7th -12th (usual 6 days) 2 weeks later I got pregs???? 26th? Then bleed 2nd to 6th Jan???

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 06:40

Also thank you to those who have responded you've been very helpful

L0kiWh0 · 29/03/2019 07:24

Going by a last period of 7/12/18 your due date would be 14th September give or take a few days, so no.

Going by last period of 2/1/19 your due date should be around the 6th October give or take a few days.

It really depends on when you ovulated which is normally 8-16 days after the start of your period, but sperm can live for up to 5 days inside you so it really is going to be impossible to tell giving that the two men you slept with were only a day apart - their speed would be all mixed up inside you so the only way to know is to do a dna test.

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 07:29

Hi
I was told my due date is October 2nd 2019 if I count back 40 weeks from due date wouldn't it make it my partners??? 26th December

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 07:30

Would the 8 to 16 days be after my proper period or the short one?

ourkidmolly · 29/03/2019 07:35

This can only be sorted by a DNA test after the baby is born. You're going no where with all these calculations.

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 07:38

So I order for me to find out the father the child must be born and DNA test done

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Shostakobitch · 29/03/2019 07:41

There are prenatal DNA tests but you'd need consent from everyone being tested. They are expensive and carry a low risk of miscarriage.

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 07:44

Alright
Thanks

TwittleBee · 29/03/2019 07:45

If you count back 40 weeks Jame1234 from your due date you won't get when you conceived but instead the approx time of when your LMP should have been, which is pretty close to your LMP of 2nd Jan. It's common dating scans can be out by a week either way as babies do grow at slightly different rates and it depends on ovulation too.

As previously said, the fertile week for you would have been 7th to 13th according to your dates. So whoever you had sex with between the 7th and 13th January is a possibility of being the father.

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