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Unsure of babys father

(65 Posts)
Chojame123 Fri 29-Mar-19 05:28:00

I'm in desperate need for help and I have no one else to talk to.
I am currently 13 weeks and 2 days (ultrasound scan) or 12 weeks 2 day (gestational date). I've been told my due date is 02.10.19 the 1st day of my last period was 02.01.19 but I bleed for a shorter amount of days than usual.

I had sex with my partner 25.12.18 before last period then stupidly with another guy on 08.01.19 (I know)) please dont judge me).

I've had sex with my partner on 09.01.19 and everyday after that until the middle of the following week.

I've looked online with dates etc and what some people have said but it always keeps changing that it could be my partners or the other really want it to be my partners so anything before 08.01.19 is preferable or after 12.01.19.

Please is anyone able to help I'd like to know this before it gets too late

Elmo311 Fri 29-Mar-19 05:36:40

Bumping this for you even though I'm not sure of the answer . The dates are pretty close, in my opinion there isn't an obvious "he's the dad".
Good luck, you will probably get some hate for this post but i hope people try to actually help you!

MountainPeakGeek Fri 29-Mar-19 05:43:42

Going by the ultrasound dates you conceived on Xmas day.

TwittleBee Fri 29-Mar-19 05:50:08

Pretty confused as we conceived on Xmas Day and I have a due date 17.09 ?

Soontobe60 Fri 29-Mar-19 05:54:51

Oh dear, this is going to get messy. It sounds like it could be either of them. I'm afraid you're only going to be able to find out once the baby is born, unless you have something like amniocentesis beforehand and ask them to check! I'm not even sure that's possible!
I'm guessing your partner doesn't have a clue, and that he would probably go ballistic if he found out?

TwittleBee Fri 29-Mar-19 05:57:22

Going by your Ultrasound dates your fertile window would have been between the 7th and 13th January. So no clear answer I am sorry.

MountainPeakGeek Fri 29-Mar-19 06:07:16

Oops. I forgot about knocking off the 2 weeks. I just worked out when 13wks and 2days prior to now would have been. That would not have been the date of conception, which would have been around a couple of weeks later. Sorry!

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:27:31

I'm confused myself this was what I was told at the clinic they said around Christmas day and I know before Jan I had sex with my partner on Christmas day well morning but when I've done online date checks it says 26th december

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:28:35

I know I will and honestly that doesn't bother me I just want to be sure before telling both. I really want it to be my partners and not the other dudes and everyone's so excited about it

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:28:54

Are you sure????

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:30:08

He would most definitely not be happy and tbh neither would I. And I'm against abortion either way but I really really want it to be his

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:30:39

Oh man...😔

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:32:01

How can they check with amniocentesis isnt that for like down syndrome e5c

LotsToThinkOf Fri 29-Mar-19 06:32:21

Jame, conception doesn't happen immediately so it's likely it was the day after.

OP if you had a period after Xmas day then you weren't pregnant at that time, the January dates are too close to call at this point.

You need to wait until the baby is born, it may be obvious or you may need to test. Either way, don't let this spoil your pregnancy - this is your baby and whatever the situation you need to embrace it. Dwelling won't help and may affect how you bond, once the baby arrives you'll realise that - for you - it's not important. Be a bit selfish as you don't get this time back, deal with the issues later.

I hope you get the result you want.

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:32:54

A couple of weeks... do you by any chance know what dates.....

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:38:53

That's what I figured but the mideife/nurse told me you can be pregnant whilst bleeding and that, that period wasnt a 'real' period.... I didnt get that part

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:39:53

So could it of been that after my December period 7th -12th (usual 6 days) 2 weeks later I got pregs???? 26th? Then bleed 2nd to 6th Jan???

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:40:21

Also thank you to those who have responded you've been very helpful

L0kiWh0 Fri 29-Mar-19 07:24:56

Going by a last period of 7/12/18 your due date would be 14th September give or take a few days, so no.

Going by last period of 2/1/19 your due date should be around the 6th October give or take a few days.

It really depends on when you ovulated which is normally 8-16 days after the start of your period, but sperm can live for up to 5 days inside you so it really is going to be impossible to tell giving that the two men you slept with were only a day apart - their speed would be all mixed up inside you so the only way to know is to do a dna test.

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 07:29:38

I was told my due date is October 2nd 2019 if I count back 40 weeks from due date wouldn't it make it my partners??? 26th December

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 07:30:21

Would the 8 to 16 days be after my proper period or the short one?

ourkidmolly Fri 29-Mar-19 07:35:49

This can only be sorted by a DNA test after the baby is born. You're going no where with all these calculations.

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 07:38:11

So I order for me to find out the father the child must be born and DNA test done

Shostakobitch Fri 29-Mar-19 07:41:51

There are prenatal DNA tests but you'd need consent from everyone being tested. They are expensive and carry a low risk of miscarriage.

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 07:44:45


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