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I'm new, and this is harder than i thought...

(12 Posts)
bobbypinseverywhere Tue 26-Mar-19 16:56:00

Just posting really for someone to talk to, as I'm driving DH mad. We have only just started TTC, but already I'm struggling with the disappointments of getting my period. I know i need to relax and we've not been trying long, but I'm building it all up in my own head.

My cycles are a bit all over the place, between 28-32 days, really thought i felt ovulation this month D15 and we got the timings right with lots before....but I've had a lot of brown spotting since D22 with a few clots. i cracked and took a test today which was negative. just wanting to share my crazy really! confused

Chanel05 Tue 26-Mar-19 17:37:08

@bobbypinseverywhere sorry to hear of your disappointment, it can be a long road to a bfp and I know it's easy to say but try not to get too obsessed too quickly. Even if you have a perfect cycle and do everything at the right time, the chances of conception are only 20%. It's normal for it to take up to a year. I know exactly how you feel as it took me 8 months to get my bfp. I found not testing before af she made things slightly easier. Did you use opks/temp?

andbreatheagain Tue 26-Mar-19 17:59:44

I would use OPKs to track your ovulation if you can although it can make baby making a bit regimented.

I've been trying for years with a couple of miscarriages thrown in so I would say after 12 months If you haven't been successful go speak to a GP (or 6 months if you are over 35) x

bobbypinseverywhere Tue 26-Mar-19 18:12:08

thanks for the responses, can anyway explain the board lingo to me? whats an OPK/ BFP?

Michellebops Tue 26-Mar-19 19:52:06

Opk is ovulation predictor kit
Bfp is big fat positive
Af is Aunt Flo (or period)
Poas is pee on a stick

When roughly is your period due?

It may just be a bit early to be testing.

Oh and what kind of tests are you using?

WifOfBif Tue 26-Mar-19 19:55:11

First of all, try and work our roughly when you ovulate. You can use OPKs for this, some people suggest testing morning and late afternoon to get an accurate result.

Once you know when you’re ovulating, try to make sure you have sex at least every other day in the few days running up to and the day of ovulation.

Good luck!

Susanna30 Tue 26-Mar-19 20:02:04

Oh I feel you!!
Been trying for a while now and it's very stressful and emotional. Waiting for period to/ not to arrive is all consuming, every month. It's draining.

I can't lead by example because I don't think I am handling it very well. But after 7 months of TTC with one CM, all I can say is try to enjoy other things and not expect too much of yourself. I have not had any success with ovulation tests, though many find them useful. Give it a try. I use an app called Flo which I think a few of us on here use.

I am 29 and fell pregnant really easily with my first at 23... so it's harder (and longer) than I'd have ever imagined. Good luck to you.

Snowflake9 Tue 26-Mar-19 20:10:22

Hey! I used to absolutely hate getting my period. I felt like such a let down. We decided to ttc last march, we fell pregnant straight away, unfortunately it ended in a missed miscarriage. After this I bout a BBT thermometer off of eBay and began.to track my temperature every morning, logging it on Fertility Friend App as was getting frustrated with not falling pregnant again.

I can honestly say that it gave me a sense of control back. I knew when I ovulated and to expect my period 14 days after. It helped me to stop testing early too which is always a kicker. I would much rather get my AF then stare at a negative test.

I fell pregnant again on my 5th cycle of trying after my MMC and am now 18 weeks. I will say I was on holiday and was 14dpo (days past ovulation ) and it didn't arrive. I waited until I got home a week later to test and I got my positive

Please don't stress yourself out, we've all been there at one point or another. Hoping you find some comfort here. (as my DH got fed up of me going on about it) x

mommato3 Wed 27-Mar-19 18:01:10

@bobbypinseverywhere I hear you. And I'm with you. We started the whole TTC last July after having the mirena coil removed in the June. We got our bfp on December 20th but unfortunately it resulted in mc on 12th feb. I believe I had a period on 12/3 and currently using Ovia and P Tracker both saying I should ovulate yesterday but OPK saying negative. OH is trying his best to support my decisions but naturally he doesn't fully get it. I'm currently feeling really let down by my body and it's screwed up cycle as all I actually really want so much is to be carrying our baby.

I totally get your disappointment when AF shows. I know full well I will be exactly the same. I'm trying so very hard not to let how I'm feeling show so OH doesn't notice but we're so close it's nigh on impossible 🤦‍♀️

All I can say is try not to focus too hard on getting pregnant. It will happen when you least expect it. Before we caught in I'd been temp tracking, watching my CM and practically begging for BFP and each time AF showed. The one month we'd barely bd and I'd not tracked anything boom!! It's hard. Very hard. Especially when it's something wanted so badly.

Wishing you all the luck in the world. It will happen. Always here if you need an ear who completely understands your pain. Big hugs xxx

bobbypinseverywhere Wed 27-Mar-19 19:19:48

thanks so much everybody, i really appreciate all the replies. altho its really made me realise i do need to relax as its only been a few cycles for us. we have a lot of friends who have gone thru IVF and i just have this nagging feeling its going to be the same with us and not happen..... but i need to dispel the negativity as thats not helping!

has anyone found that tracking actually caused them more stress? I'm currently day 27 actually so did test too early blush but as i said with the amount of bleeding I've had since day 22 i think my cycles are all over the place! usually i get a lot of other period symptoms (pain, bloating...and farting grin ) and none of those yet so will need to give it a few days and see!

Snowflake9 Wed 27-Mar-19 22:55:04

Tracking my temperature relieved my stress. I felt in control and aware of where I was in my cycle. One of my cycles i ovulated really late and had I not been tracking I would have spent a fortune on pregnancy tests and heartbreak at negatives. My cycle was 39 days ! (Normally 32)

Give it a go and see. It may work for you. X

WifOfBif Fri 29-Mar-19 08:49:45

Knowing my cycle relieved my stress too, I know when I ovulate and how long my cycle is, I think it’s good to know even if you’re not TTC.

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