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Dear Husband/Partner

(12 Posts)
Lammoshay Tue 26-Mar-19 00:06:47

Dear partner

Have you ever felt like you wanted something so bad and would do anything you could to achieve that, have you ever had that burning desire for something to happen which you really want only to have it crushed, over and over?
This is the reality of Trying to conceive.
Facing negative pregnancy tests every month, crying when our periods are here, the emotional strain of thinking “what’s wrong with me”, my body and thinking we are a failure.
Seeing people around us getting pregnant and feeling envious but guilty at the same time as we should be happy for them.
Pissing on sticks 24-7 only to see nothing!
Trying to explain the process to you but knowing you don’t really get it.
Feeling guilty because we feel we are putting to much pressure on you never mind what we have to go through.
The dread of hearing you say “we have plenty of time don’t worry”, or “there is always next month”, and us knowing we’re going to get all the moaning of “I’m to tired etc”.
We are willing to adapt our bodies to the extreme, make it a temple and go through the most horrendous pain, so next time you moan about having sex just remember all the sacrifices we ladies are making.

andbreatheagain Tue 26-Mar-19 08:18:14

So true - think I might print this off and stick it on the fridge for DH to read! X

hcopp Tue 26-Mar-19 08:27:29

Mine's being good, but what bothers me is 'We have all the time in the world, there's no rush'. No, darling. I'm 34. We do not have all the time in the world.

andbreatheagain Tue 26-Mar-19 08:47:27

@hcopp yeah I get that! "It will happen" YEAH?! Like when cos neither of us are getting any younger and in an entire month I'm only fertile for 4 days and out of that at least 2 of those you'll be "too tired"! 😬

Lammoshay Tue 26-Mar-19 20:35:13

Yes gals get showing your partners haha x

crazychemist Thu 28-Mar-19 17:43:01

I’m not convinced men really get how short the fertile window can be. You spend so many years thinking you have to be super careful and being told there is no “safe” time. It’s a big change to your mindset to realise that because ovulation CAN be early/late you can’t guarantee not getting pregnant, in each cycle there is only a 24 to 48 hr window for conception. And that even if conception occurs, implantation may not if hormones don’t give the right gap between ovulation and AF.

We educate ourselves when ttc because we are interested, I think the vast majority of men know no more than they did as teenagers.

I also think wihout the monthly cycle they don’t feel the passsage of time so much. We are aware that another chance has gone.

“I’m tired” is one I don’t think I’d be at all happy with! DH would like a second child. Being tired is a pretty constant state when you have a toddler, how does he think a second one is going to happen??? The longer the gap is, the more effect it has on my career (I’m part time, and would like to do the same for any future DC) and the less likely I am to ever get promoted as I’ll be seen as someone that didn’t progress for a long time so must not be interested/committed.

He’d be so happy if it happenned, but doesn’t care enough to put the effort in to help make it happen!!!

MapleAndCats Thu 28-Mar-19 17:52:08

I honestly thought I was the only one. It’s only been the past month DH has even really put in the effort.
Thank you for sharing this.

hopeful31 Thu 28-Mar-19 17:58:26

@Lammoshay ❤️❤️❤️

becca3210 Sun 31-Mar-19 10:09:00

Thank you for sharing. Sending love and understanding. Just had a row with husband as he was clearly not in the mood last night and apparently I should have known that he was tired this morning!! Ffs have explained the whole ‘fertile week’ etc and he tells me he gets it but I’m like so make it happen then! Grrr!!

Sleepyhead11 Sun 31-Mar-19 12:53:22

My partner is often too tired. I am desperate for this, and cannot go back on my medicine until after we have a child. I don't feel comfortable pressuring him though - it's horrible.

becca3210 Sun 31-Mar-19 17:23:28

Sorry to hear that @Sleepyhead11 I really do understand xx

Sleepyhead11 Sun 31-Mar-19 18:49:02

Thank you Becca. X

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