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Dealing with peoples comments while trying to conceive

(6 Posts)
mummybear Thu 21-Mar-19 19:27:27

Theres nothing worse than the constant questions asking when we will have "another one"
So the story is my partner and I have a 6 year old DS who obviously we are super proud of. 2 years ago we decided to start trying. Last may I had a miscarriage and since then we have had nothing.
It's so hard dealing with the constant upset of yet another month of negative tests and it's so much worse when people constantly ask when we will have our second or wow your letting the gap get big.
I used to always just say yea maybe we will have another but now I find myself struggling to even answer at all.
How do you all deal with this ?

Mamabear12 Thu 21-Mar-19 22:54:32

Perhaps just be honest “we would love another, but it just has not happened yet. Hopefully it will happen soon.” People she get it and stop asking!

Rainbow714 Fri 22-Mar-19 12:34:08

Hi mummybear cant offer you any help but just wanted to say im in the same situation. Our DD is 6 and weve been trying for 18months with sadly a MC in between too. We constant get asked the same questions & is hard to answer...!

Chocolateisfab Fri 22-Mar-19 12:38:09

Just reply well you are having lots of sex at the moment so watch this space.
Cf people imo!!

FaithInfinity Fri 22-Mar-19 13:05:10

I’m really blunt these days! It took over 2 1/2 years to conceive DD who is almost 6. We’d like another but it’s not happening naturally. Currently debating about going down the IVF route but due to ill health that’s currently on hold. So if anyone asks I just say ‘We have fertility problems, we are very lucky to have DD, we’d like another but it seems unlikely. It shuts up nosey people, some people then share that they have been through similar. If I do ever get pregnant again I can guarantee the nosey ones will say Thought you couldn’t get pregnant?! and I’ll just reply something along the lines of it being a miracle!

custardtarts Fri 22-Mar-19 13:22:30

I'm the same DC1 is 3 now and in the last 2 years I have had 2 miscarriages and a near fatal ruptured ectopic. We've now moved on to IVF but our first round failed last week.

I always dreamt of having children close in age - maybe 2 years between them and I've had to come to terms with giving up that dream. Of course we ll keep trying but I find it so hard when people talk about age gaps etc and when will we have another one. IM BLOODY TRYING ALRIGHT!.
Now I get people saying to put all my energy into my DC and about how lucky I am to have her. Of course I know that - I know that more than most with all the losses I have experienced but it doesn't make it any less painful that I always wanted to have more than one child and give my DC a sibling.

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