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TTC financial worries(7 Posts)
So I've never done this before and might ramble a bit but felt I needed a platform for some advice or support about my anxieties with TTC.
Get ready for a ramble.
Basically I'm 28 about to get married next month and we would like to start TTC right away. We've been together for 12 years already so don't care so much about being married for a while first. I have no fertility issues that I know of, nor does he and I still have 'time' technically if we wanted to wait a while. I was dead set on this timeline but as it draws nearer the fact we don't own a home (we rent) and that we will have a significant drop in money making us unable to save is really bothering me. In order to afford our life (which isn't fancy by any means, I'm a nurse he's a fabricator) I will have to go part time because childcare costs are astronomical and we have no family to help as our parents still work full time.
Being frugal doesn't bother me, I've never had money and our futures do look bright especially for my fiance who will have great scope for promotion etc. However, initially we know financially things will be really tight. Not undoable but tight. Very likely no holidays for a good while after our honeymoon or treats for ourselves. We will be able to get all the stuff for the baby prior to me going on mat leave etc, I'm not worried about that it's just after when our money dries up for a while.
I know people do it on waaaay less and get by just fine, I'm just scared I guess.
I'm envious of friends who have been able to buy their own homes and are now having families of their own and it's stupid but that seems like the 'ideal' which I won't have and kind of makes me sad. I have to remember though a lot of them have had financial backing from family which isn't feasible for us as our families don't have that to give us which is fine, we don't expect handouts.
We want kids so bad and neither of us want to be 35 and trying for them, now is the age I always envisioned starting a family and emotionally and stability in our relationship wise we are totally ready.
I guess I'm just looking to see if anyone feels the same as I do and any advice on how to get past the obsession of needing the 'ideal' scenario to start trying for a baby which will be soooooo freaking loved.
I'm not necessarily in the same boat however didn't want to read and run. All I'll say is that there's no 'perfect' time for a baby. Plus, no matter what I'm sure you'd manage.
We haven't been on holiday since the birth of my son (who is 3 on weds) but to honest, I wouldn't find it fun anyway as it's just a routine from home (I know of course others do) and now I have a 5 week old.
My mum had to raise me and my two sisters alone and had a lot less than I do and managed really well. She did have to go without some things but we never wanted for anything.
If it makes you feel better maybe do a long term money plan so you can have something as a reference point and I'm sure it'll look better than you think / you can worry less.
Good luck with your wedding and good luck when ttc xxx
My situation is similar to yours. We're both 28 and due our first baby next month.
I worried about renting and not owning a house yet but I figure even if it takes us 7 years to save a deposit we can still get a 30 year mortgage because we're young.
It was important to us to have kids young enough and kind of just got to a point where we both felt ready. We normally have 2-3 holidays a year but will cut that back to one more than likely so we can save after baby gets here.
Like PP said, there's no good time to have a baby. I know a couple who bought a house while she was pregnant but their relationship wasn't great so now they're having a terrible time trying to parent together. As long as you can provide for the child and bring him/her into a loving environment that's the main thing.
Thanks for the replies folks. It's nice to hear others in a similar situation. Until you are faced with the reality of ttc you kind of just think it will all be fine but then it really hits you how much this will change your life!
We are sure we want a family and as you say we will find a way regardless. I guess I'm just freaking because of the enormity bringing another human into the world is.
Thanks again for the comments it does make me feel so much better.
I'm 20 weeks pregnant and still renting. I'm the happiest I could be. To me I had to think, I can always buy a house in the future but I can't always have children, age, you never know how long it takes and if it will happen etc, so I just thought balls to it and luckily was pregnant on cycle number 4. We are saving to cover maternity, whilst also trying to put £200 in a help to buy isa. I know that will stop once I'm on maternity and then go part time, but eventually we will be able to add to this.
I would just casually try whilst saving and see what happens. At the end of the day, you have a home to bring your baby home to, so in my opinion a house can always come later.
And I've been told so many times by others so it must be true, you just adapt to your new finances xx
You're so right mrsc87. What you're doing is pretty much what we are hoping to do as well. One of the things that worries me is time in case something was to be wrong with either of us and it takes a long time if ever to conceive. As I said in my post there is no current indication of this but you just never know and you are so right. You can always buy a house at some point but may not always be able to have children.
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply it has really helped me feel more settled in our choice.
No worries @SoontobeCee, I was where you were last summer, but took the plunge. Good luck with TTC, and hopefully see you on the pregnancy threads soon 😊
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