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TTC... sad

(13 Posts)
JumpedOverTheMoon Wed 27-Feb-19 18:55:21

Anyone else not having any luck with conceiving and are just totally ... sad about it? I'm gutted the gap between my kids is going to be so big, that's if we do manage to conceive at all. It just feels like everything I do i keep thinking but I could be pregnant by then and then those occasions come and go and I'm still not. And another birthday goes by and my dd is another year older, and I'm another year older...

Anyone the same?
Anyone got any advice?

ReaganSomerset Wed 27-Feb-19 18:58:44

I would try and think that if it's meant to be, it will be. You have a lovely daughter who is currently reaping all the benefits of being an only child. Try to count your blessings.

Newbie21 Wed 27-Feb-19 19:00:33

I feel exactly the same. I keep thinking really unhelpful thoughts like - if I'm not pregnant next cycle I won't have a 2019 baby when I was meant to have a 2018 baby. I'm conscious that I'm getting old as well - I'll be 39 at the end of the year. I now cry when I hear people are pregnant coz I wish it was me. Of course I'm happy for them, but why isn't it me :-(.

Sorry I'm useless on the advice front! But you are not alone.

How long have you been TTC? And how old is your DC?

I've been trying over a year now and had 2 MCs last year. My DS will be 3 in July.

Newbie21 Wed 27-Feb-19 19:05:28

@ReaganSomerset I understand what you are saying and I am extremely grateful for my DS and I can see in ways he is lucky for all the fuss he gets but I also think he misses out too. He adores being around other kids and he is amazing with my baby nephew who is now coming up to 1 year old. I also think that maybe my DH and I spoil him quite a bit because he is an only child which means he is very good at getting his own way which probably isn't a good thing.

JumpedOverTheMoon Wed 27-Feb-19 19:48:36

I'm 32 and dd is 4. She wants a baby sibling too and is so good with kids but I'm the same thinking I don't have a baby this year, or won't have one for Christmas, or dd will be going on 6 by the time she gets a baby bro/sis. It's frustrating. Especially when everyone keeps asking if we're ever going to have another one. I could scream! We've been trying for over a year now people keep telling me it can take that long but I'm not a patient person to start with.

ReaganSomerset Wed 27-Feb-19 20:40:20

www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2017/05/15/the-pros-and-cons-of-being-an-only-child-show-up-in-the-brain/

There you go, Newbie, some disadvantages, yes, but lots of advantages.

If you're really set on siblings, have you considered fostering/adoption? A totally different ballgame to be sure, but still a sibling and they can be closer in age than a birth sibling.

JumpedOverTheMoon Wed 27-Feb-19 20:42:34

I've thought about it. Always thought about fostering full time but now that I'm working I don't want to give my job up. But I'm going to explore options that way once I've had all the tests at the doctors done.

Newbie21 Wed 27-Feb-19 21:17:03

@ReaganSomerset thanks for sharing the article. I always maintained before having DS that if we couldn't have a baby ourselves that we would consider adoption but we are still in the TTC mode although it is very trying. I fell pregnant straight away with DS and last year had 2 CPs and 2 MMCs so I can fall pregnant. I've seen a specialist and he believes it's just bad luck and given my age it's not that unusual. We will give it another year and then decide what to do. Might go for more tests if nothing happens by summer or I have another MC.

ReaganSomerset Wed 27-Feb-19 21:29:51

Well, good luck to you both. I hope you get the families you want.

Fizzy13 Thu 28-Feb-19 12:54:49

I completely understand. We are now almost a year over the age gap I wanted (and I'd planned for a year TTC)
It is rubbish and I feel bad for DS who often asks if he can have a brother.

I also struggle in not beating myself up about the little things every month. I think the so called logic in my head is " if I can't give him a sibling I have to do everything else perfectly" which makes the guilt of letting him watch paw patrol while I cry with period pain even worse every month.

You are not alone!

We have decided not to go down a medical route for many reasons and are slowly coming to terms with having an only child. I can see many positives as well as the negatives but it will be a grieving process for the child I imagined would join our family when we finally do stop trying.

JumpedOverTheMoon Thu 28-Feb-19 21:56:11

Awww I'm so sorry to hear that! I'm not ready to give up yet. I don't know if I ever will. But might just get to a point where we look in to fostering/ adoption more seriously and explore those options. I'm relieved it's not just me, while simultaneously wish no one was going through this.

Anni85 Thu 28-Feb-19 22:36:09

Hi everyone I'm Anni. I've just joined today as been ttc since getting the implant out in November but my body is just so messed up I think.
I've got graves disease which means I can find it hard ttc. However I have switched my medication so that if I do get a bfp my medication is safe. Since getting the implant out in november I have only had 1 period which wasn't normal was more light spotting for a few days then nothing since and that was 8 weeks after getting it taken out and I'm now in 13 weeks since getting it out and still nothing. I'm not sure if it's my age or graves disease or whats going on.
The reason I am replying here is before I fell pregnant with my 2 youngest I researched tips on falling pregnant when you have a hard time ttc. With my youngest two before I fell pregnant I started taking fertile aid for woman and conceived within the first month my youngest however I done the caster oil pack and fertile aid and was pregnant within 2 month.
I'm going to be trying this again this time if i don't get af or bfp in the next few weeks see if it helps. Just wanted to let you all know about what I've tried incase any of you are interested x

JumpedOverTheMoon Thu 28-Feb-19 22:41:25

Thank you. I want sure how much use those kind of suppliments are but actually might give it a go. Thank you for sharing. I really hope you manage to settle back in to a normal period soon! I didn't have any issues coming off the implant but my periods are sooo heavy so will be happy to stop them again if we are ever successful

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