TTC - anyone else out there?

[sunshinedaisy248]

Hi all,

Me and my partner are looking to conceive in around August time (6 months away) due to extra maternity pay at that time period. I really want a baby now but know it's best to wait. Anyone else fresh off the coil and TTC?

It's nice to have some other women to talk to!

[LilyMumsnet]

OP, we're just going to move this over to the conception topic for you.

[undesticgodde55]

Hi @sunshinedaisy248 how exciting! I know the feeling as me and my DP decided a year ago we wanted to start trying but couldn't as my maternity pay wouldn't kick in before the September (worked all my life just switched roles which affected maternity allowance).

We managed to conceive within 6 weeks last year which unfortunately ended in PUL and treatment, so were in the waiting to start trying again. I hope that makes some sort of sense . April is our month to start again and the wait is dragging so much!! We just want to get going for baby number 1!

[sunshinedaisy248]

@undesticgodde55 we are the same, August seems so far away! I sometimes feel like I just can't wait. If we were to fall pregnant now we would be over the moon (obviously) but I would only be entitled to maternity allowance whereas I have just started a job in the NHS so waiting would allow me SMP & OMP so would be much better off financially and ultimately that's will make a huge difference for us! Is your maternity pay similar? I'm sorry things haven't worked out thus far but I'm sure something great is coming for you and April is not long to wait!!

[undesticgodde55]

No April isn't long now lol. I'm NHS too so I would guess the same maternity package, have you read it all through? I originally thought you had to work in the role for a year before maternity kicked in, but when I read it as long as you have been in a year 15 weeks before your due date you are entitled. I would double check that if not already. It's worth waiting out if you are returning to work after maternity, otherwise it would be added stress when you are dealing with a newborn.

[sunshinedaisy248]

@undesticgodde55 yeah so if we conceive in August that would mean I would have been in service 12 months by the time I'm 29 weeks (which is what my contract says) this is literally a brand new job for me. I could wait a little while longer but I'm so desperate for a baby! I'm hoping to take a year out then go back into the job and undertake some more training. If you were to get pregnant now you would be eligible for SMP and OMP correct?!

[undesticgodde55]

Yea I'm entitled to the whole whack of maternity now. I'm having to wait again because at Christmas my first pregnancy was PUL which resulted in methotrexate injection. If I got pregnant now I will more than likely miscarry or be at risk of spina bifida unfortunately. It's irritating as I know I'm ovulating this week and can't do anything about it but hey ho that's life.

[sunshinedaisy248]

@undesticgodde55 oh really? I'm so sorry it sucks having to wait because your body isn't ready but your heart is. You're waiting because it's the best thing for the baby though and that's what's most important. That's what I think, I could get pregnant now but it would be for me and we'd get by on our wages and MA but it's best to wait until you're in the best position you can be, whether that be physically, emotionally or financially!

[undesticgodde55]

Yes absolutely, it's sucks that we're waiting again but it's just not worth the risks, and in the grand scheme of things a few months isn't anything really.

Haha yea I worked out my entire entitlement for mat pay before we started trying. I think it's sensible, the NHS Mat pay is pretty poor as it is. I'm only planning to take off 6 months and then my DP will take over for 6 months as his parental pay is a lot more generous than mine. Initially I was going to go back after three months to make the most of his parental payments (he gets 6 months full pay where I only get 2 then 4 half pay) but we decided because it's our first I will likely be a bit of a mess to begin with and need to recover. Have you taken a look at your DP's entitlements too? If you happy to share the maternity leave it's worth looking into.

[sunshinedaisy248]

@undesticgodde55 I suppose if that works best for you then that is a good idea however me and my DP are set on me being the main caregiver, he has a good job that he likes. We will probably work his holidays around it so can probably work 4 days a week, take 1 days holiday so have 3 days off. I think that'll work best for us but every relationship is different and works on a personal level

I just want to start TTC now

[undesticgodde55]

That's fair enough, like you say every couple is different. I'll eventually be the main carer too, I want to avoid nursery as much as possible - nothing against anybody who uses them but with my shift work I would have to pay more than what my wage would be worth. I'm not too proud to take a part time minimum wage job to bump up our income around child care until I can return.

[sunshinedaisy248]

That's exactly it. They do bank staff in the NHS: is that something you could do? You get good pay and get to choose your hours? I was looking at that if I can get it

[undesticgodde55]

Yea I would definitely be staying on bank to keep my registration up if nothing else, it's not a reliable income though. Whatever will be will be