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Feel like I'll never have a baby

(3 Posts)
PaintingOwls Thu 21-Feb-19 19:08:49

I've been actively TTC for 6 months now although the journey started over 2 years ago when I started investigations into my health and whether a disability I had was inheritable. I had to wait a year for an appointment and a referral and everything took so long, it's exhausting.

In that time my SIL has had 2 babies and is pregnant with a third. Several of my friends have just had their second child, one is on her first I'm happy for them but I feel like my chest is being crushed every time I hear or see an announcement and I know I'm not pregnant. I feel like I'm surrounded by pregnant women.

I'm starting to wallow in despair. I've been saving money, bought a flat and we've put off getting pets because we wanted to have a baby settled first. We've taken cheaper holidays and made lifestyle sacrifices and all sorts because we want to make sure we're "prepared" to have a baby. I'm starting to feel like it's all for nothing.

I was utterly devastated last cycle because I'd convinced myself that I was pregnant. We did everything right but I still got my period and then cried in a toilet cubicle at work.

I don't know. I just feel so low.

I think I just need to get things off my chest to people who understand. I mentioned this to my aunt and she told me about her friend who finally had a baby at 42 after 2 decades of TTC. I know she was probably trying to give me hope that it can happen but honestly I wanted to cry at the thought of waiting twenty bloody years.

GreyC Thu 21-Feb-19 19:24:47

I understand. A year of TTC without a sniff of a bfp. Just started tests to get referred to the fertility clinic. It’s hard to be happy for pregnant friends sometimes

NotwhereIshouldbe Thu 21-Feb-19 19:33:56

It took me 3 years to conceive and during that time I didn't even have a sniff of a BFP. All I can suggest is don't put life on hold, book that holiday or get that pet as you don't know how long it will take to conceive. We had tests done and the doctors said we had no reason not to be able to conceive so it really is the luck of the draw sometimes. Wishing you huge amounts of baby dust and really hope you get your BFP soon 💕

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