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BFP after mc

(45 Posts)
NervousBFP Wed 23-Jan-19 21:25:35

Hello all...
I'm just wondering if anybody has any good tips on how to not constantly worry.
I just got my bfp and am excited but my overriding feeling is fear. I'm so scared it's all going to go wrong again. And then I worry that my worrying will cause something bad to happen.
My partner is great but he's also understandably nervous.
Has anybody any experience of pregnancy after miscarriage and how did you cope with the nerves?
I dont really have any symptoms either (probably too early) so it doesnt feel real yet and I'm just waiting for it all to end sad

Babycakes1989 Wed 23-Jan-19 21:31:34

I am in exactly the same boat! I was even going to do a post like this. I had a mmc in July last year and only found out at my 12 week scan last time. I am petrified it’s going the same way and even more scared as my first appointment isn’t until week 10 and I don’t get an early scan but I will pay for a private one. I’m anxious that I don’t have a lot of symptoms also and I feel more sad than excited at the moment. I hope the next few months go quick for us😘 xx

NervousBFP Wed 23-Jan-19 21:37:49

It's terrifying isnt it... And logically, I know there's no point worrying because there's nothing I can do to change the outcome but I just cant help fearing the worst.
It's such a shame because last time (my first pregnancy), we were so excited. Slightly nervous but mostly just excited and we'll never have that sort of blissful ignorance again.
Hoping for a happy, healthy (and fast!!) 9 months for you smile

Babycakes1989 Wed 23-Jan-19 21:41:35

Me and my hubby feel exactly the same! It’s taken the innocence and excitement away from us now we have experienced the loss of a baby. We didn’t for once think it would happen last time and even on the way to our scan we’re talking about baby names. It’s open my eyes to a lot of things! It’s just sad as I know I’m only 5 weeks but I can’t feel anything at the moment I feel numb? I’m 100% ready but the anxious and fear of the unknown is taking me over. I read someone say repeat ‘new egg new sperm’ be positive! I’m trying 😘 you too love x

Babycakes1989 Wed 23-Jan-19 21:41:59

It was also our first pregnancy x

wanderlustgirl Thu 24-Jan-19 07:34:43

Ahhh I have found my thread

. I've got pregnant quite quick after a D&C in Dec. I got a light positive on Sunday and since had two much darker ones. I am also spotting which is making me super nervous but I'm trying not to think about it as I know some bleeding can be common!

I think I might be 4ish weeks and have no symptons either, never have I wished for morning sickness so badly! Xx

NervousBFP Thu 24-Jan-19 09:50:06

Bleeding is really common so fingers crossed it will all be okay. I just cant see that I'll be able to relax and enjoy it at all, at any stage of the pregnancy!

Babycakes1989 Thu 24-Jan-19 11:00:11

It’s such a hard time isn’t it ladies ❤️ So anxious I’m at work can’t stop thinking it and going to toilet to check. Emails gone in to book my early scan xx

russiandwarf Thu 24-Jan-19 11:19:23

Hi all, this is exactly where I'm at as well - bfp this week (just before we were about to start ivf!) I've previously had two MMC and a chemical pregnancy and I just feel like I can't let myself get excited for fear. I have been repeating to myself the 'new sperm, new egg' @Babycakes1989 I think that's helpful! Thanks for posting that! Feeling like an early scan might be a good idea as well as I couldn't bear to wait til 12 weeks again and be crushed 😕 I don't know if they let you at my GP though, they're pretty difficult

Mistymeow Thu 24-Jan-19 14:07:16

I’m so glad I’ve found this thread too! I got my BFP a few days ago and I’m around 4 weeks. Just like @wanderlustgirl I have some brown spotting which is upsetting me. Im trying to rationalise it by saying if I hadn’t tested slightly early I would be getting excited thinking it’s an implantation bleed (which I imagine that’s what it is). But we had a mmc last April so any spotting just reminds me of it.

We also found out 3 days before our first ivf appointment, so I’m in total shock and think it’s too good to be true. I have a few symptoms, mainly awful taste in my mouth, frequent urination and fatigue. But I know plenty of women who had zero symptoms early on and were fine so I wouldn’t worry smile

Really nice to find you ladies. We haven’t told a soul because we don’t want to upset anyone if it all goes wrong, so it’s nice to have people to talk to.

wanderlustgirl Thu 24-Jan-19 15:00:31

@Mistymeow it maybe delayed implantation bleeding.

I am trying super hard to just forget what is going on and focus on other things and nothing I do can really change what happens! However it is so much easier said than done! I told my DH I am going to try remain neutral, not get excited but also not worry..let's see confusedconfused

Babycakes1989 Thu 24-Jan-19 16:30:47

It’s so nice ( in the best possible way!) to be talking to ladies in the same boat ❤️ I can’t stress that enough. Positive thoughts to all. I don’t have massives of symptoms at the moment at 5 weeks just heavy boobs, constipation (sorry)/wind and certain foods make me feel funny but not enough to be sick. No morning sickness and none before but neither did my mum get any. Xxx

wanderlustgirl Thu 24-Jan-19 17:04:59

@Babycakes1989 yes I agree, only my DH and mum know what's going on and it's hard not having someone in the same position to talk to!

I also literally have zero symptoms but I could be about 4 weeks. So it's nice to hear someone else doesn't. Last time I didn't find out till I was about 6 weeks and my symptoms started the next day.!

missrose0110 Thu 24-Jan-19 20:16:37

So glad to have found this! In October we went to our 12 week scan full of excitement only to find out we'd had a mmc that ended in erpc sad

Yesterday we got a positive test and I'm so nervous, our past experience has really tainted this for us. Hoping for a happy and healthy 9 months for all.

Babycakes1989 Thu 24-Jan-19 20:35:59

Exactly same circumstances as me missrose! We can all support each other 😘 stay positive xx

NervousBFP Thu 24-Jan-19 21:19:35

It is a strange kind of comfort to know that other people know how I feel. Obviously would never wish these circumstances on anybody but it's nice to know there are people around with similar situations/anxieties/fears and we knowing we can all support each other.
Fingers crossed for us all for a happy and healthy nine months.

missrose0110 Fri 25-Jan-19 07:22:41

@Babycakes1989 @NervousBFP so glad to have found these feed. We can support each other and take comfort in the fact we're all in similar situations smile

russiandwarf Fri 25-Jan-19 08:11:13

Is anyone else still POAS everyday to check it's still there? 😳 I have a small collection, like I need to see the line getting darker to prove it to myself...

wanderlustgirl Fri 25-Jan-19 08:27:54

@russiandwarf I've done three as my first one was really faint but got two more positives since which are much darker!

Because of my bleeding I am tempted to do another one in a few days hoping it's still strong...

Are yours getting stronger!? X

NervousBFP Fri 25-Jan-19 10:38:02

@russiandwarf I've POAS at least every other day, sometimes twice a day blush. I was really worried they werent getting darker at first but was using internet cheapies but since I switched to CB, the lines have been dark which is slightly more reassuring

Mistymeow Fri 25-Jan-19 11:30:54

@wanderlustgirl I know what you mean, it's so hard to distract yourself. I keep waking up early because I remember I'm pregnant then my brain starts to work!

@NervousBFP @russiandwarf I only have internet cheapies left and they don't really give a strong line. Tbh nothing is going to reassure me, and the anticipation of interpreting lines or having a blood test two days apart makes me even more anxious. I can see how people find it reassuring.

My brown spotting seems to have lightened (touch wood). I will feel better once it stops completely. How is everyone else doing?

wanderlustgirl Fri 25-Jan-19 11:46:18

@Mistymeow how long has yours been going on for? Mine doesn't seem to be stopping but seems to be quite light, started on sat evening, wishing it to stop! Xx

russiandwarf Fri 25-Jan-19 12:58:50

@wanderlustgirl yes mine are getting darker but it is very gradual! I'm like a testing maniac 😂 My last was a chemical pregnancy and they never got any darker and then got lighter so I need to prove to myself they can actually get dark 😳
How much bleeding have you had? Just spotting? Sorry if you've already said, I lose track once I start typing! Hope it stops soon to put your mind at rest x

russiandwarf Fri 25-Jan-19 13:03:23

@NervousBFP @Mistymeow yes the internet cheapies are rubbish! I only had squinters on those at first, but got a semi decent line today which isn't anywhere near as obvious as on frer. Obviously I'm a testing maniac and I've done 5 cheapies, 5 frer, 2 boots (faint but visible compared to frer) and 1 CB digi which said 2-3 weeks. I think I have a problem 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 I need to stop it as I know I can't control anything but I suppose I'm still in disbelief...we were literally due to start IVF yesterday!

Mistymeow Fri 25-Jan-19 13:07:01

@wanderlustgirl I think it started on tuesday shortly after I got the BFP and it coincided with lots of pulling and pressure "down below". As long as it's light I think it's fine, it's only when it's red and accompanied by strong cramps that it might be a cause for concern. With my last pregnancy I had spotting for 6 days around implantation but even though it did end in miscarriage, the implantation bleed wasn't a sign of things going wrong. I know it's hard not to worry (I'm the same!) but the embryo is nestling in and getting rid of old blood (brown) so I'm sure you are fine. Maybe give the GP a call for some reassurance?

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