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Crushing disappointment of TTC

(1000 Posts)
TheChineseChicken Sat 22-Dec-18 08:31:57

TTC number 2 and struggling with the miserable disappointment every month. DD took quite a long time to conceive. Tried for a year, fell pregnant then miscarried at 9 weeks then pregnant again 3 months later. Been trying for number 2 since August and stupidly convinced myself it would be quicker this time due to friends' experiences. But here we are on cycle 5. The not knowing is the worst bit - it could happen this month, it might never happen.

I know that no-one can give me any reassurances but I just wanted to have a moan!

I fished this morning's test out of the bin for some inexplicable reason and saw a faint second line, which is clearly an evaporation line. Just did another test to confirm and it's negative sad

LHMB Wed 15-May-19 21:14:29

Aww thank you "MummyBearBoo* that's exciting, our scans are a day apart! Fingers crossed we both get the news that everything is going okay. It really does seem such a long time to wait.
The cramps can be so worrying can't they, and the digestive issues are horrible.
I do get a lot of water retention anyway as I suffer with IBS, plus not taking my IBS medication anymore which probably adds to the discomfort and bloating xxx

MummyBearBoo Wed 15-May-19 21:01:32

The placenta forms around 10 weeks but the first time I started getting morning sickness at 7 weeks, last time I was 5 weeks and this time I've already been sick once and I'm just over 5 weeks I don't feel sick every morning yet tho! I think the constant symptoms start a bit later though sore boobs has just started being constant!
Fingers crossed your AF doesn't arrive @TheChineseChicken Xxx

TheChineseChicken Wed 15-May-19 20:22:31

@blackfriars with my precious pregnancies I didn't feel any different at the time of a positive test, whether they went on to be successful or not. I think most symptoms such as sickness kick in when the placenta takes over, as that's when the baby starts using your resources

MummyBearBoo Wed 15-May-19 20:09:20

@LHMB your wait gain could just be water I always look about 20 weeks pregnant when I get to 11 weeks ish coz of water retention I get it every time!
My scan date is the day before yours I know what you mean tho it seems ages away!! Glad your day seems a bit better I've been sick once so far and my boobs are really sore! I'm having the same digestion problems and I remember my first two pregnancies getting cramps and not had any bleeding so far so hope all is ok! Xxx

LHMB Wed 15-May-19 19:56:29

Also a bit tmi but I'm finding my digestion is all over the place, I'm constipated in the evenings and getting diarrhoea in the mornings. Not pleasant.

Weighed myself last week and was 8 stone 13 and a half pounds.
Today I've gone up to 9 stone 1 and a quarter pounds.
Bit concerned I'm putting on weight too quickly, must not give in to cravings and just eat healthy food at meal times

LHMB Wed 15-May-19 19:53:08

Hi MummyBearBoo, I've been getting some period type aches and pains today which were quite strong and was worrying me so I called the midwife's number in my notes and they called me back, said it's normal and just the uterus expanding and moving around to accommodate the baby as it grows and that as long as there's no bleeding then it's okay.
Still feeling sickly but haven't actually thrown up yet.
Had the letter today saying my first scan is 12th of June. I know it's only 4 weeks away but feels so long. Glad I finally have a date for it though.
How is everyone else doing?
blackfriars I didn't have a clue and felt like AF was coming any day before I got my BFP

MummyBearBoo Wed 15-May-19 19:47:52

I was totally pessimistic this time and I didn't feel any different or let myself symptom spit (coz we didn't get a positive OPK this month) tho I did feel different when I had a CP on cycle 3 - I had cramps this tine which I thought were a sign of AF so was totally shocked when I got a BFP
There is always hope til AF comes if you implanted later than normal your HCG levels would be lower and may not show up early I didn't test until AF was a day late!! Fingers crossed for you all!

blackfriars Wed 15-May-19 19:33:19

Friday, and I tested with a FRER so definitely should have showed up if there was something to show up! Plus I just feel like I'm coming on my period in the usual way....do you guys think you feel different when you're actually pregnant? Do you think you can tell 'this is pre menstrual' rather than 'this could be the month'?

TheChineseChicken Wed 15-May-19 19:26:51

@bobbypinseverywhere welcome to our group. Sorry you're also in this crappy position but hopefully the fact that we have 5 pregnancies on the thread gives you some hope. Do you know if there's a reason for your irregular periods?

Thanks for the crossed fingers @blackfriars! When is your AF due?

blackfriars Wed 15-May-19 19:14:39

Hi @bobbypinseverywhere I am feeling your pain today! We are on month 5 and I really thought this month might be our month but starting getting crampy today so thought I might as well bite the bullet and take a test - BFN of course. I don’t know why but this time round has really got to me and I’ve had a big ugly cry. I had a termination four years ago and I guess somewhere in me is a lot of fear I’ve done some sort of damage. I know it’s unlikely but I can’t help but wonder. I’ve got my nieces christening on Saturday too and really can’t bear all the ‘you’ll be next’ chat. I know it seems silly to be this sad on cycle 5 but I’m allowing myself a little wallow tonight.

Hope everyone else is doing ok? @thechinesechicken I have all fingers and toes crossed for you!!!

MummyBearBoo Wed 15-May-19 19:12:15

That's really tough @bobbypinseverywhere - my periods too were all over the place I didn't ovulate the same day twice in a row at all I had to use OPKs so I knew when I was ovulating-cycle 9 is still quite early I'm sure it will happen for you soon but feel free to vent whenever you need to!
How are you @LHMB? Xx

LHMB Tue 14-May-19 22:28:40

Thank you so much MummyBearBoo and TheChineseChicken xx

Oh bobbypinseverywhere I'm so sorry, I can understand that as I felt the same before I fell flowers

bobbypinseverywhere Tue 14-May-19 20:25:39

hi, i was hoping to join this thread and get a bit of support - or really just a place to vent! i find I'm struggling with TTC as its just not happening for us. we are on cycle 9 and my periods are still all over the place, some months I'm not even ovulating. but all my friends are pregnant/ have kids and i feel surrounded by it! sad

TheChineseChicken Tue 14-May-19 20:02:13

@LHMB that's really tough. It's not nice being apart from your DP especially at this time. Take care of yourself. We're here to chat if you need support

MummyBearBoo Tue 14-May-19 19:52:28

Oh @LHMB I hope tomorrow is a better day for you hun! Xx

LHMB Tue 14-May-19 16:16:36

Thank you TheChineseChicken. I'm 8 weeks today. Got a lot of stressful things going on and unforeseen circumstances have meant me and DP have to be apart for a few months so I'm struggling, not really coping too much, today is a bad day

TheChineseChicken Tue 14-May-19 14:56:06

You're right, I need to stop being a negative nancy!

MummyBearBoo Tue 14-May-19 14:19:07

So my scan is 11th June - ages away!!! Xx

MummyBearBoo Tue 14-May-19 13:51:16

I don't think you ever KNOW tho @TheChineseChicken coz I was so not optimistic this time coz we only DTD once on the day I thought I was going to ovulate but we didn't know for sure coz we didn't get a positive OPK this cycle! I had a stronger line on that day but still not a smiley face! So I thought this month was a write-off but obvs wasn't so just shows you it could still be your month! Xx

TheChineseChicken Tue 14-May-19 10:44:50

Hey @pinkstar01 I'm 8-9 dpo. Starting to lose my cool TBH and on the slippery slope towards AF feeling less optimistic. If this cycle doesn't work out I think it's going to hit me hard. The lack of control is the worst thing - other than DTD there's literally nothing you can do!

pinkstar01 Tue 14-May-19 10:13:42

@TheChineseChicken thanks for checking in!
I'll be 5 weeks tomorrow, so far I feel pretty normal but it's still early days...I'm going to go for a private scan around 8 weeks so just trying to be patient until then!

How are you getting on? How many dpo?

dottyp0104 Mon 13-May-19 21:14:43

@TheChineseChicken 23rd for me. I don't know, just feel different this month, more positive. Fingers crossed xx

TheChineseChicken Mon 13-May-19 21:01:15

Great to hear from you @Ells0204. Your scan will come along quickly enough.

@LHMB hope you are ok and feeling a bit more relaxed.

@dottyp0104 hello! When is AF due? I've got about a week to go and it's really dragging. Flipping between feeling optimistic and symptom spotting to fearing the worst and feeling despondent.

@MummyBearBoo it just be so hard with the CVS hanging over you thanks

MummyBearBoo Mon 13-May-19 19:47:44

I'm due to see midwife Wednesday my dating scan is due at 8 weeks so 3 weeks time then I have another with CVS at 11 weeks! Xx

dottyp0104 Mon 13-May-19 18:16:08

*here 🙈

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