TTC after ectopic pregnancy

[Here4theaibu]

Hi all

I had an ectopic pregnancy in July, only 9 days after finding out I was pregnant. Ended up in the early pregnancy unit due to bleeding and was told it was ectopic. When trying to out a cannula in I ended up fainting then being rushed to surgery where I lost my left tube. Physically recovered well and quickly but I feel very up and down some days

Since then I've had days where I'm absolutely fine and think it just wasn't meant to be at that time. Other days I feel like I'm really struggling and it's just not fair. It tends to come out of nowhere when I realise I would be at certain staged like showing a bump or getting to milestone weeks
When people announce pregnancies I am genuinely happy for them but so sad at the same time. We weren't planning getting pregnant due to getting married next year but it was a very much wanted and loved baby straight away.

We've said we will wait till after the wedding and just see what happens but I'm so scared of it happening again especially now I only have 1 tube. I have to say my OH had been absolutely amazing , looking after me so well and letting me cry on his shoulder or go sit by myself when I just needed some time to myself .
I just wondered if there was any advise for TTC next time? I was told it is unlikely it will happen again and it was just one of those things but I'm terrified

Thank you xx

[Here4theaibu]

Bump

[beibikeiks]

Hi there 🙂 First of all, I'm very sorry that you had to go through this. I've been there and it's absolutely horrible.
I lost my right tube a year ago. Emergency surgery, huge blood loss and life threatening condition.. The whole shebang.

I don't have any advice really, because I have unfortunately not been able to conceive since then 😔 But what I've been trying to do is all the basic things like conception vitamins, ovulation tests, healthy diet and just tried Conceive + lube as well.

I try not to think too much about the fact that I only have one tube. I was told at the hospital that the likelyhood of conceiving with one tube is obviously less than with two. But not much less 😊 so I'll hold onto that!

As for this happening again. I'm obviously afraid of it and I've got a letter from the hospital for an urgent referral for a scan as soon as I conceive. They've said it's 10% more likely for this to happen again and that doesn't sound too bad. So I'm just trying to stay positive.


I really hope you get your BFP soon and that everything goes well! x x

[Bobbino]

Sorry for your loss Xx I had a ruptured ectopic last year and lost my left tube. Emotionally I found it very tough, losing a much wanted baby, dealing with how poorly I'd been and worrying whether I'd able to conceive and if I did whether it would happen again.
We waited the 3 months we were advised before trying again, I'm glad we did as on reflection I wouldn't have been ready any earlier.
Getting past the due date actually gave me closure and 3 weeks later we got a BFP. The first few weeks were very stressful waiting for a scan at 6 weeks but luckily this little bean was in the right place!
Good luck when you try again, my only advice would be that when you get a BFP get referred to the early pregnancy unit ASAP and they will be able to do an early scan for you.
I feel very lucky to be pregnant again and although I'm enjoying the pregnancy I think a little part of me will always worry and I'll be glad when we have this little one safely in our arms!
I really hope all works out for you when you start trying again Xx

[Here4theaibu]

Thank you both so much for replying

it's helpful to hear other people's experiences I think. My fertility was something I never really have much consideration to before. I've always had regular periods, never much period pain etc so it's never something I thought I'd struggle with so for something like that to happen out the blue I think hit me hard
It also came really soon after my other half losing his dad really unexpectedly so this was something else to add to grief we were already dealing with

I joined an ectopic pregnancy group on Facebook after it happened but I had to leave as it was quite a negative space and wasn't doing me any good reading the posts.

I'll definitely start taking vitamins and eating well and looking after myself. I'll be honest and say I probably have comfort eat quite a bit the last couple of months. And definitely get in for an early scan if we are lucky enough to concieve in the future

Good luck both of you and I hope everything goes ok for you both xx

[Bobbino]

I found it hard hearing other people's stories about trying for a baby after their ectopic. When I read positive stores, although I was happy that the person involved, I'd still be thinking that doesn't mean I'll be the same and they made me feel no better. Reading negative stories would make me panic! And I found varying statistics which would stress me out too! So in the end I stopped googling and reading them!
Be kind to yourself..... I ate my body weight in comfort eating chocolate!
Good luck Xx

[Mahogany50]

Hi @Here4theaibu,

Unfortunately I don't have any advise or happy ending stories (yet!) but just wanted to drop a note to say we've just recently been in a very familiar situation! Found out we were expecting, unplanned, to then 2 weeks later finding out it was ectopic! We too are getting married next year... I'm finding it difficult to not want to try again and having to wait a further 9/10months before we can!

I have up and down days as well, I think it's all apart of the process! Keep your chin up and all the best for next year xx

[Here4theaibu]

Thanks @Bobbino and @Mahogany50

Good luck to both of you as well xx