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How do I tell someone TTC for a while now that I am PG? Help please

(9 Posts)
PBirdy Wed 20-Jun-07 12:45:11

I am in need of some advice.

I have been very lucky to fall pregnant after TTC for 4 months. I have a close friend who has been TTC for over a year now and is currently exploring options - IVF etc. I am shortly about to go "public" with my PG news and I would like to tell her before the rest of the world knows, because she is a close friend, and also because I know that she is also TTC.

I am just very worried about doing this in a sensitive way. I don't want to make a big fuss but nor do I want to be so casual that it is hurtful to her.

We work together. My current thinking was to stick my head into her office before lunch time on Friday and say that I have been very lucky and am 3 months pregnant and I wanted to tell her seperately before I told the others because she is a good friend. That way, if she is upset then she has lunchtime etc to be alone if she wants to.

Has anyone any advice on this?

moopymoo Wed 20-Jun-07 12:47:10

Sounds like you are a good and thoughtful friend. Just say what you posted, keep talking to her about non baby things and dont be offended if she pulls back from being close to you for a while. you can do no more. congratulations.

Uki Wed 20-Jun-07 13:05:28

Breaking it gently sounds good, before others, etc. also try and ask about her, how she is coping with TTC, if you have a chance as it might be a good opportunity.
I also agree with moopymoo, try not to act too excited about baby things around her and do that with others instead. It probably will be hard to watch your belly grow, but if you act like you care /talk about things, it will be easier. Been there many times with friends and their pg's while i had 3 x m/c's, was hard and did have to avoid them a bit for a while, although that's harder when you work together.

Good luck with your pregnancy and your friend

whomovedmychocolate Wed 20-Jun-07 13:08:37

I had to tell someone who'd had three failed IVF attempts. I just called her and told her and we both had a bit of a cry, but she was really happy for me and it gave her hope that it could still happen for her.

Soph73 Wed 20-Jun-07 13:18:23

Yes PBirdy do exactly what you´ve said you´re going to do. My best friend has had (what seems like) countless rounds of IVF and still hasn´t managed to conceive so when I fell pg with ds I phoned her first and like whomovedmychocolate we had a good cry and everything was then fine. We never talked about the nitty gritty bits of pg though because we both knew it would be too difficult for her. You sound like a very sensitive person who has respect for her friend, good for you Oh yes, & good luck with the pg.

PBirdy Wed 20-Jun-07 14:02:03

Thanks to you all for responding.

I will go ahead with it as planned on Friday and then will take on board your comments about downplaying the baby chat at work after that.

I wish you every sucess TTC,



lissie Wed 20-Jun-07 14:04:14

that sounds perfect, and congratulations

Janus Wed 20-Jun-07 18:04:45

PBirdy, your approach sounds just right and what a nice person you are for thinking, worrying and asking for people's advice. My bf told me about her (unplanned) pregnancy when she came to stay with me for the weekend and I always wished she'd told me on the phone earlier so I had time to digest the info and come to terms with it. It was a really hard weekend with her, I didn't want to show I was upset, etc but had had a mc about a year earlier and had been ttc for about 9 months when she told me. She has since had the baby and I have to say the early stages of pregnancy I could barely bring myself to ask about it. Now I am quite happy to talk about her little boy, time helps.
Hope it all goes well tomorrow.

PBirdy Tue 26-Jun-07 17:22:41

Hi All

I just wanted to say that I went ahead and told my friend on Friday afternoon. She was so lovely when she heard the news (I knew she would be). We chatted briefly and then I left for the afternoon. I have tried to keep a low profile since then although she and I have chatted this week as well.

Thanks for your help. Best of luck TTC. I know it is hard to stay positive but it will happen. Look forward to seeing you on the pregnancy threads soon.

PBirdy XX

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