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When everyone around you is getting pregnant

(14 Posts)
Jenstro20 Sun 27-May-18 20:09:29

Anyone else at that stage where it fees like everyone is having a baby but you? 4 colleagues are pregnant and my sister-in-law just announced her good news. I'm happy for everyone blessed to have a baby, but OMG I'm like a banshee wailing inside. I guess after an ectopic I'm more fragile than I thought I ever would be and it effected me more than I realised. I feel happy for the person, but inside I'm devastated it's not me. Anyone else? How do you get through it? With my sister-in-law I can't be around her. I'm finding it really hard. sad

Stee1 Sun 27-May-18 20:26:19

Yep I'm at that stage my brother and his girlfriend are expecting I also had an ectopic in June, I try not to let it get to me but when I see people expecting who are not in relationships ect it's hard not to! With my little neice/nephew on the way I can't wait! X

Jenstro20 Sun 27-May-18 20:46:47

@Stee1

I think because we've never got on 100%, it hurts more? That's how it feels. I'm happy for her, I'm excited for any new baby, but I'm feeling like a failure. My husband is amazing with kids and I know how happy this has made him, I want to make him that happy and I'm scared I can't sad

Booksandbaths1 Sun 27-May-18 21:15:29

Hi Jenstro, yep I totally get it. I'm on cycle 11 ttc #1 with no luck so far. I've been trying to keep positive this week (despite some not so great test results recently) but I got two calls from seperate friends today announcing their happy news. I want to be happy for them and I am but I've also spent a fair few hours feeling upset and crying. It just sucks. Hugs x

JustLikeTheySaid Sun 27-May-18 21:16:52

Same here. You aren't alone x

Jenstro20 Sun 27-May-18 21:17:57

I had a full on anxiety attack after she announced it. I was a mess. Poor husband didn't know what to do for me. Glad I'm not alone x

Booksandbaths1 Sun 27-May-18 21:18:50

I also had a chat with a friend about this today as she's been in a similar situation. Her good advice was that when we're feeling vulnerable loke this you need to put yourself first. If you need to lay low and nurture yourself then do. Spend time with people who will lift you up and support you. And when you feel like crying then do just let it out.

ApplesTheHare Sun 27-May-18 21:19:53

You're not alone but I'm sorry you're going through this flowers

I'm very lucky to have a DD but after a MMC last year pregnancy announcements this Spring have been hard. My SIL was really insensitive about hers and, other than to congratulate her, I've not spoken to her since. I'm not even jealous, it just really reminds me too sharply of my own heartbreak sad

rosegeorgia21 Sun 27-May-18 21:22:08

I know exactly how you feel. I had 2 mcs this year and my sister is where I should be at now and my sister in law is pregnant to! I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure your time will come ❤️❤️❤️ xxx

Booksandbaths1 Sun 27-May-18 21:23:07

Oh you poor thing, anxiety attacks are the pits. This ttc stuff has led to my first ever panic attack and it was horrible. Treat yourself as you would a good friend. Lots of tenderness and care. And maybe try to find a good friend to share how you feel about this. Its a completely understandable reaction to your sil.

Jenstro20 Sun 27-May-18 21:43:27

Thanks everyone.

I think for me it is that I want it so much. I've started going for walks, it stops me feeling confined and it's quite peaceful. Nobody but my husband and my parents are aware of our ectopic. So most people think I'm a jealous moody cow.

ApplesTheHare Sun 27-May-18 21:45:16

Jenstro20 would you consider telling anyone else about your ectopic? I wouldn't have told anyone about my MMC but I had to due to childcare, etc., and I'm actually so glad. It was easier for people to offer support and understanding.

Jenstro20 Sun 27-May-18 22:00:20

My ectopic was before we got married. My husbands family would have a S**t Fit if they found out. Traditional and all that. It would cause more problems than i need.

winterwonderly Sun 27-May-18 22:15:39

No advice as I didn't cope with it well either, just wanted to let you know you're not alone. My worst point was one day when my period arrived again and I felt so deflated and my sister announced she was expecting her second. I felt so numb, congratulated her and pretended to be happy, but I didn't really feel anything. I did get pregnant some months later and I've never been more grateful for anything in my life. Hang on in there and I hope the same happens for you.

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