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TTC after pregnancy loss. Thread 17. New Year, new hope for all!

(949 Posts)
Primrose16 Thu 22-Feb-18 20:33:16

Oops the other one got full before new one made. Kept the same name to make it easier to find.

Primrose16 Thu 22-Feb-18 20:33:55

Hope everyone finds it 😬

Primrose16 Thu 22-Feb-18 20:35:48

Thread for trying for those BFP after pregnancy loss- hiya 👋🏻

@cakelaur haven’t none in and didn’t really want to spend more money. I’m soooo fed up of him moaning! @claire138 Yeah I might give him a night off. I can’t see him being well enough tomorrow. I made him a gin to cheer him up!

Tefiti2 Thu 22-Feb-18 20:39:27

In the TWW first cycle post early MC and finding it really hard not to compare my symptoms. I know that each pregnancy is completely different but I seem have lost the rational part of my brain... 🙈

ANewHope18 Thu 22-Feb-18 20:46:18

May I join? I lost my baby last month at 13 weeks after a diagnosis of Edwards syndrome. Stopped bleeding 2 weeks ago after retained placenta and I started using OPKs a couple of days later. I think I caught ovulation last week with 2 positive OPKs.

Since found out my folate and b12 levels are low and I'm awaiting results of a repeat blood test which is worrying me. The levels weren't low before I lost my baby so I think it's the bleeding and clots.

I am desperate to be pregnant again, I want a child so much. I'm still grieving but focusing on TTC is helping (I think).

Good luck to all flowers

Claire138 Thu 22-Feb-18 21:30:45

@dulwichdays you have done well to get this far without testing!

@primrose16 maybe give him a few more gins 😜

@tefiti2 I hate the 2ww!! Fingers crossed you get a BFP!

Hi @anewhope18, sorry for your loss ☹️ Everyone on this board can relate to the need to be pregnant again and I hope you have a BFP soon but be kind to yourself it’s a very difficult time. Did your doctor advise you to wait a certain amount of time or were you given the go ahead?

Primrose16 Thu 22-Feb-18 21:57:27

@claire138 good plan. But will that ruin the produce?
@tefiti2 I did the same last cycle. Pretty normal. Unfortunately. I won’t tell you to try to stop thinking and comparing as I know it won’t happen.
@anewhope hi there. So so sorry for your loss. It’s so cruel, I hope you are doing okay. Can understand it’s bloody hard.

Primrose16 Thu 22-Feb-18 22:27:45

Potentially ewcm happening now. Or the aftermath of 3 nights of dtd- blerg!!!
Is tomorrow eve too late for round 4?

Cakelaur Thu 22-Feb-18 22:44:29

Good job on the new thread @Primrose16
And on the whole ewcm... the more times the merrier! 🤞
@Tefiti2 fingers crossed for your bfp... how many dpo are ya?
@ANewHope18 welcome and sorry you find yourself here. I found ttc and focusing on that helped. But then had a massive break down when we didn't catch the first month. Since af at the weekend I now almost feel normal again. And mentally I feel much better so there is hope. Xx

ANewHope18 Thu 22-Feb-18 23:06:51

Thank you all flowers I'm hoping for but not expecting a positive test and if not then I'd really like a period soon so I can work out my cycle.

@claire138 the fetal medicine unit said there should be no issues trying again whenever we are ready, no need to wait. Although that was before blood tests showed low folate and b12. The blood tests are for another medical issue unrelated to pregnancy and TTC. I have monthly tests due to meds and the low levels have only shown from last week's test. I'm due a follow up at fetal medicine early next month. The midwife said sometimes women come for their follow up and they're pregnant again, I was hoping to be one of them!

ANewHope18 Thu 22-Feb-18 23:08:46

@cakelaur thanks for sharing, I'm worried I'm putting too much pressure on us to conceive. Trying to appear and feel breezy about it all!

dulwichdays Fri 23-Feb-18 06:59:55

@Claire138 - I took a test last Sunday, but it wasn’t a FRER just a basic cheapie from Home Bargains and realistically was too early to test!

strawberrye Fri 23-Feb-18 07:01:59

@ANewHope18 Hello and so sorry to hear about your loss. I am too trying to appear bright and breezy in an attempt to "relax" which everyone seems to say is the trick to actually conceiving. Also have given up opks. Tempted to give up tracking my cycle as well but now I'm in the habit I think I'd do it in my mind instead of my app!

PumpkinPatch000 Fri 23-Feb-18 10:04:28

Good Morning everyone,

Thank you for your replies on the other thread about when to start trying again and my fears about people being judgemental.

@dulwichdays - i'm so sorry for your loss. It must have been really hard having it happen around the time you was going to tell everyone. I'm glad it helped talking to people though. Thank you for the words of comfort. We have spoken about it a lot and we both feel ready to start TTC sooner rather than later. I don't think we are going to wait until my first period either, just see what happens....

@eastend2015 I understand what you mean about it getting easier when telling people. i bottled it up and found it really hard to talk about but over the past week i've told my two best friends and a couple of friends at work and it's helped a lot. It has helped me come to terms with what has happened. It's far more common than I ever imagined, it's so sad. I'm with you about telling people we are trying again. They didn't know we where trying before the MC and I want to keep it that way this time too.

@Patienceofatoddler thank you, each day it's getting easier and i'm finding I can talk about it more openly now without fighting to hold back emotions. I can imagine it's heard when you don't have the extra support as people don't know but at the same time its judging the right time to tell them. People are so nosey and ask far too many questions. I find the people that do that aren't even the ones you are closest to and would confide in anyway. We are thinking the same as you. We would both rather try again sooner rather than later particularly as you don't know how quick it will be to fall pregnant again.

PumpkinPatch000 Fri 23-Feb-18 10:31:02

Thanks again to everyone who replied smile I wasn't sure whether to do a bulk reply or individuals. Decided on the latter, hope that's okay smile I can't express how much all your messages have comforted me and given me the boost and reassurance I needed.

@Primrose16 i'm dreading when people start with the questions about 'when are you going to have a baby', 'do you want to start a family' etc. I found it awkward before people asking and now will be even worse. I know i'll feel like saying to them to mind their own business and that we've had a MC and it's not that easy but I don't want everyone knowing. My work is male dominated and a high pressured environment and I really don't want them knowing all our business. My husband was asked just a few days after the MC by his barber, i really felt for him. He just froze and didn't know what to say.

Thank you @SoozC it's comforting to read other people have TTC sooner rather than latter. Part of me felt like we should wait but it was more because of worrying about other people rather than it being about us. We've talked about it a lot and we want to start trying as soon as we can. i've started to use the ovulation tests too to try and work out what is going on with my body. My periods were irregular before the MC so expecting them to be even worse now!

@PassTheAfterEights thanks so much. I feel like i'm over the worst part now (hopefully). The bleeding stopped about two weeks ago and the cramps a week ago so physically i'm feeling much better. Now everyone we wanted to tell knows i feel better too. We have lots of support and don't have to have the worry and emotions about breaking the news to people. I think that's what made it worse a few days ago. i'm feeling far more positive about things now and ready to start trying... we've actually got our peak according to the ovulation test eek. So sorry it wasn't your month this time but i'll keep my fingers crossed for you next time! It has helped so much to see other people are TTC straight away. I heard about being super fertile after MC somewhere else too... strange. We also wanted to take advantage of that.

@CakeLaur - it's so good to hear work were supportive so you were able to take the time you needed. Sorry this month didn't work out but I will keep everything crossed next month is the lucky one! After reading everyone's responses on here i'm going to worry far less about other people's judgements and focus on what is best for us.

@Claire138 thank you Claire. Since I was last on here i'm feeling more positive about things. Feeling more like my old self and looking forward to the future. We've only told close friends, family and a couple of people at work too. Thanks for the advice. We've spoken a lot and focusing on ourselves and we want to do. Trying to forget about what anyone else will think.

@kingy2910 thank you for your words. They definitely have given me comfort and sounds we like are in same position as you. We also didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy but had to about the MC. We are just seeing what happens. I checked with the miscarriage association and theres no medical reason to have to wait for your first AF so we aren't using protection either and just going to see what happens. You're so brave for standing up to that women. Maybe she will think twice before questioning. It annoyed me before I was pregnant people questioning as if it's their business and now i'm dreading them coming up. People are so nosey and don't think about what people could be going through. Well done you for putting her in her place.

@Boboelephant that is so good to hear! All the messages on here have given me the boost to do what we want to do and that's to try straight away. I'm so relived other people have done that too. I didn't realise your super fertile for 3 months?! Wow! Good luck.

Big good luck to everyone! Come on March, we want BFPs!

weasledee Fri 23-Feb-18 14:01:44

Found you! smile

Claire138 Fri 23-Feb-18 14:26:14

@primrose16 not sure if it would ruin it...sure many people have fallen pregnant from a drunken night so it couldn’t be that bad?? Not sure.

@anewhope18 that’s good they have given you the go ahead. I have found focusing on ttc has helped me but now I’m back in the realms of just wanting to see that BFP!

@pumpkinpatch000 that was a mega post! Glad you are feeling better and finding comfort from these posts. Fingers crossed for a BFP for you!!

Star88 Fri 23-Feb-18 18:44:34

Feeling totally disheartened over here. I can't remember how soon after ovulation I started feeling symptoms before but this time after O I have absolutely zero. Don't think this is our month. Trying not to feel down but it's so so hard!!

HidCat Fri 23-Feb-18 19:23:54

@Star88 think positive. You never know...

It's amazing how something so devastating can bring so many people together. I've been lurking a bit but the support offered on here is really soothing to read. I really hope everyone gets their bfp's soon.

We're just starting to try again after MC. Haven't had a negative test yet but I know it's possible to ovulate before first af so just going to see what happens.

Cakelaur Fri 23-Feb-18 19:49:57

So ladies. I've been thinking for ages what I wanna do to recognise our loss. And I've decided to make a piece of art. I won't say too much about it. But weather allowing it should be finished by the end of the weekend! 🤗

Martydog Fri 23-Feb-18 20:24:41

Glad I found the new thread

DaisyMay25 Fri 23-Feb-18 20:43:19

@Primrose16 thanks for the new thread!
Been having pains in my left ovary for a few days, like stop me in my tracks pains so gotta have scan of my tubes and pelvis. Gotta wait 2-3 weeks for the appointment though, I'm hoping it's nothing.
Also she said I need to relax more, stop poas and to DTD every 3-4 days because the sperm will have time to mature (?)
How's everyone doing?
I've got a week off work and by doctors orders spending it relaxing

Llondbol Fri 23-Feb-18 22:09:20

@Star88 so long as AF hasn't arrived you're still in the running 😊 I had symptoms from 9dpo.... which will be tomorrow so I'm going to be on high alert 😂

Star88 Fri 23-Feb-18 22:19:30

@Llondbol I've got very thick cm (tmi!) and I think I normally have this before Af. There does seem to be more this time but that could be for any number of reasons. I have my fx crossed for you x

Star88 Fri 23-Feb-18 22:20:12

@Martydog took me ages to find 🙈

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