Induced lactation to feed non maternal baby

[OnionAndGarlic]

My wife and I are TTC (same sex marriage) she will be carrying.
I would really like to bond with our baby and try to breast feed too. Has anyone had any experience with inducing laceration?
Any tips on where to start? Herbal remedies perhaps? Thanks

[JollyGiraffe]

Speak to your GP

[DoneDisappeared]

GP? A lactation consultant might be a better bet. There's a podcast episode that might interest you here: www.newmommymedia.com/episode/inducing-lactation-without-giving-birth/

[delilahbucket]

The major problem with this is that it will affect the carrying parents milk supply and that can cause no end of issues. Breast feeding isn't just to bond with the child and benefit the child, it has loads of health benefits for the woman who has carried and birthed, and she needs those benefits. You don't need to breastfeed to bond with your child. Do not start taking pills or herbal remedies to make milk because these pass straight through the milk to the baby.

[SomeKnobend]

I exclusively breastfed my first two, and would agree that's ideal if your wife can. But I had supply issues with my third and had to mix feed - if I'd had a female partner I'd have bloody loved to have shared breastfeeding rather than having to supplement with formula. I used domperidone (motilium) to increase supply. However, depending which country you're in I think the licensing has recently changed for it, so I don't know if you can still get it prescribed for lactation. You need to speak to a specialist as soon as possible. You'll also need to pump loads to keep up your supply, so get a decent electric pump and some good advice. Depending how much you feed, your dw might want to pump to encourage her supply too. See how it goes, you can't really know until you try I don't think.

Even if you don't have much milk, you might find bfing invaluable for putting baby to sleep or comforting them when ill or sick. It's not just about the milk. I don't have much milk now, but I honestly don't know how I'd get mine to sleep if not for boob!

[Darkstar4855]

OP you will probably get more response in the “infant feeding” forum (under Feed the World) rather than conception.

[OnionAndGarlic]

Hi all,

Thanks for the replies, each of you have been helpful.

It isn't just about bonding with the baby, we have both agreed that sharing the feeding would be beneficial time wise.
I do understand that taking medications /herbal remedies whilst breastfeeding will pass onto the baby, I meant taking herbal remedies to help induce lactation, months before any feeding, just as a kickstart.

Anyway, thank you all!

[QueenAravisOfArchenland]

It's essentially unknown for any woman who has not been pregnant and given birth to make enough milk to exclusively feed a baby. You may be able to get lactation going enough to occasionally support your wife, but she will almost certainly need to be the primary source. It will also be a great deal of work - medication (domperidone) can help but you would need to pump and stimulate your breasts very regularly as it's this which is the really critical piece to bring milk in. You won't just be able to use the baby to stimulate your breasts because if it doesn't suckle enough on your wife in the early days she is likely to have supply problems and you could well end up with both of you producing very little milk. You would both essentially need to spend weeks pumping/feeding as though each of you is feeding the baby, so it will be more work than your wife ebf, not less.

I think you need to speak to a lactation consultant and also seek out any online reputable advice from f/f couples who have shared feeding like this. While I can see why you want to do it and I wish you luck, inducing lactation is bloody hard work and I don't know if it will be practical or worth it when you have a birth mother right there.

[QueenAravisOfArchenland]

Ps. Herbal remedies don't really do much even in women who are already breastfeeding. I really don't think there is any herbal remedy which will do a thing to induce lactation in a woman who has never been pregnant. You will need prescribed medication for that.