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What are the chances of having another miscarriage?

(62 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

hopingandprayingthistime Sun 17-Dec-17 08:29:36

I posted a similar thread over on the conception board but didn’t get many replies so trying again here for traffic. I would be really grateful to hear some positive messages about people who went on to have a successful pregnancy after a miscarriage. I had an early loss in August and I am now pregnant again (very early days) and I am struggling to keep positive and stop worrying that it’ll happen again. I know nobody can tell me what will happen - just looking for reassurance and positive messages to keep me going through these agonising first few weeks. Also any tips of things I can do / not to to give the pregnancy the best chance (I am taking folic acid and trying to eat more fruit and veg and stopped drinking / caffeine).

I’ll also have to deal with the problem of not drinking over Xmas as nobody will know, which will be problematic / exhausting. We don’t want to tell our families because they will be so excited and don’t know about our previous loss, and we can’t handle their disappointment as well as our own if something goes wrong. We also don’t want our private life (which we are struggling with) to be gossiped about amongst the family.

Moraelin Sun 17-Dec-17 08:55:24

My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks, but my 2nd was successful and I now have a healthy 3 yr old snuggled up in bed with me. So definitely try and be positive.
There isn't a huge amount you can do to prevent miscarriage, I've read about low dose aspirin but you don't know the reasons for your first loss.

Can't really help about the non drinking- maybe say you're on a health kick after what happened and cutting out alcohol? Or bring fizzy water and pretend it's fizzy wine?

AdalindSchade Sun 17-Dec-17 08:57:06

Millions of women have healthy babies after miscarriage. I was a nervous wreck through my second pregnancy so I completely empathise but I had a healthy baby at the end.
There used to be a support thread on here for women pregnant after miscarriage but it may have disappeared.

TheChineseChicken Sun 17-Dec-17 16:33:46

My understanding is that you're no more likely to have two miscarriages than one - it's only after 2 or more than there is an increased risk of subsequent ones. That's because it's so common to have one and usually doesn't indicate any underlying problem.

Anyway, I had one at 9 weeks after over a year of trying, got pregnant 3 months later and now have an 18 month old.

pastabest Sun 17-Dec-17 16:37:38

The risk of having a miscarriage with each pregnancy is estimated to be around 1 in 5. It’s only if you have more than two in a row that the risk increases because usually it means there is something else going on.

Anecdotally it is extremely common to have a miscarriage with your first pregnancy rather than any others.

My first pregnancy was a miscarriage. I have gone on to conceive successfully twice since (1 baby, one on the way)

AlbusPercival Sun 17-Dec-17 16:44:22

I had 2 mc one after the other.

I was terrified all pregnancy but now have a bouncing one year old.

A friend had a mc in her first pregnancy abd now has a 6 month old.

All the best to you

eurochick Sun 17-Dec-17 17:13:14

I miscarried my first pregnancy but my second resulted in a live birth. They were both ivf. Miscarriage is really common and most people who have them go on to have healthy pregnancies. It's normal to worry though. I can't say I ever relaxed. The three weeks of first trimester bleeding didn't help!

hopingandprayingthistime Sun 17-Dec-17 18:09:45

Thanks so much for your replies. Crossing my fingers for all of us who are expecting. Sorry for everyone’s losses.

sizeofalentil Tue 19-Dec-17 08:34:24

I had two mc and am now 39 wks Pg.

hopingandprayingthistime Tue 19-Dec-17 11:57:42

Thanks size best wishes for your new arrival!

Hatstand Wed 20-Dec-17 12:56:47

hoping I was in your position this time last year. Currently cuddling DD fsmile. Have a look at the posifricintive threads on the pregnancy board, there is lots of support there.

hopingandprayingthistime Wed 20-Dec-17 15:38:38

Thanks Hatstand x

fortifiedwithtea Tue 26-Dec-17 11:49:27

Having a miscarriage doesn't change the odds of it happening again. Its just another roll of the dice. I had a MC followed by an ectopic pg followed by a live birth and then couldn't get pg again without help. Now have 2 DD and the second one conceived with the help of clomid has many problems. I see her suffering and wish I'd never had her.

Parky04 Wed 27-Dec-17 19:54:25

DW suffered a miscarriage with her first pregnancy and then went on to have two DS. Quite a few of our friends also suffered a miscarriage and then went on to have DC.

hopingandprayingthistime Wed 27-Dec-17 23:24:31

Thanks for your replies. I am hoping and praying this time as my name suggests!

DrMadelineMaxwell Wed 27-Dec-17 23:41:52

I had three mcs, one after the other. Dh and I had all the tests but nothing was wrong, just one of those things.

Then I had 2 successful pregnancies, teens now.

TheLegendOfBeans Wed 27-Dec-17 23:48:27

I had an early loss in August and I am now pregnant again (very early days) and I am struggling to keep positive and stop worrying that it’ll happen again

This was me this time last year.

11w DS is snoring away in his already-too-small Moses beside me.

I had to keep asking myself “why SHOULD this pregnancy go wrong?”...not when.

Good luck and congrats OP. Keep the faith x

hopingandprayingthistime Thu 28-Dec-17 01:01:45

Thank you thank you thank you! These replies mean so much and are keeping me going through all the worry. Google is my enemy right now but Mumsnet seems to be my friend. Thank you!

hopingandprayingthistime Thu 28-Dec-17 01:03:57

Ps managing to hide the not drinking from family over Xmas mainly by pretending to drink (with help from crafty DH). Nobody has said anything so far, hopefully they haven’t noticed or are being tactful.

hopingandprayingthistime Wed 03-Jan-18 14:54:52

Hi all, hoping you can help with a couple of related questions. Seven weeks now and still seems okay. 1. Would you have an early scan? Is there any point? I am not sure it actually makes any difference and would only reassure temporarily, but on the other hand five weeks is a long time to wait. I don’t even have my booking appointment yet. Interested if you think early scans are worthwhile / did they make you feel better? 2. Would you go on a weekend away (hen do) in same country but long train ride away during the 12WW? I am wondering how on earth to get out of it and would feel bad as actually want to go. But what would I do if something went wrong while I was away? Nobody on the hen will know of course. Thanks.

fortifiedwithtea Wed 03-Jan-18 15:13:24

depends if there is a medical reason for an early scan. As my second pregnancy was ectopic (big scary operation, whole 9 yards etc.) I had an early scan in both subsequent pregnancies to check foetus was in the right place and check for heartbeat. DD2 was scanned at 5+ weeks and only a quivering blob on screen which I found more upsetting than DD1 was had a definite heartbeat at 6+ weeks.

A scan is only a snap shot of development at the time it is done. Its won't give any guarantees that the pregnancy will continue successfully.

If you want to go on a hen do and have the energy for it, then do it.

Macauley Wed 03-Jan-18 15:18:29

Hi I had a mc at 10 weeks then got pregnant 2 months after. DD currently sound asleep in my arms smile.

I did have an early scan at 9 weeks. I was a nervous wreck so my gp referred me for an early scan. To be honest it did reassure me but only for that day. I did treat the scans like milestones to reach.

I also went abroad during my pregnancy. Early on at about 8 weeks then long haul at about 20 weeks. I had my travel insurance. I’d go for it.

Runningoutofusernames Wed 03-Jan-18 15:24:19

It's also important that you know that it was almost guaranteed not to have been from anything you did. Most miscarriages are because of an underlying problem in the way the fetus came together, and are nature's way of ensuring that a non-viable pregnancy doesn't continue. When my obstetrician told me this it was so helpful - of course it is good to do all we can to be healthy, and it can help to feel like you can take action, but don't spend a long time worrying.

Fwiw I had 3 miscarriages (no underlying cause found), followed by 2 healthy pregnancies, both now off at school!

hopingandprayingthistime Wed 03-Jan-18 15:27:24

MumsnetHQ is there any chance you could move this thread to a place where it will remain available longer than 30 days? Thanks

hopingandprayingthistime Wed 03-Jan-18 15:27:45

Thanks so much for your replies smile

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