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Trying for our first baby! EEEEK!

(37 Posts)
HaveCourageBeKind Mon 04-Dec-17 12:36:36

Hi all! Totally new on here and just trying to get my head around all the info about conception etc smile I'm almost 35 and we decided to try for a baby and I'm just curious if there is any advice you received that you found useful when trying to get pregnant or in the first weeks of your pregnancy? Thank you fsmile x

Kit1411 Mon 04-Dec-17 12:40:29

Hi, very exciting times! Start taking your vitamins now (I’m taking pregnacare as we’re trying for #2). Limit caffeine and alcohol and just relax and enjoy rather than trying too hard. Don’t get upset if it doesn’t happen straight away as it doesn’t for everyone (I’m on cycle number 4). Good luck

NapQueen Mon 04-Dec-17 12:41:52

Give yourself a few months before you start charting and temping etc. Dtd every other day in the meantime. No BFP within 3 to 4 months then start ovulation sticks.

Si1ver Mon 04-Dec-17 12:46:45

Remember that it's totally normal for conception to take up to 12 months, even without any fertility issues. You have a one in four chance of getting pregnant each month and that's if you have sex at the right time.

I'm not trying to be negative, but I wish someone had spelt this out to me when I started trying.

flumpybear Mon 04-Dec-17 12:51:17

Relax, take vitamins, relax, don't fret if it doesn't happen straight away, and did I mention relax wink

Bubblegum89 Mon 04-Dec-17 13:59:24

My advice is this; don’t expect it to happen quickly, most of the time it doesn’t and it can take up to 12 months for a perfectly healthy couple to conceive. Don’t overthink symptoms in your two week wait, it’s got nothing to do with whether you are pregnant or not, it’s purely hormonal (and you will get weird symptoms you’ve never had before!) and also don’t bother testing before a missed period. Negative tests are horrible to look at so save yourself the disappointment (and the money) good luck!

ReasonableLlama Mon 04-Dec-17 14:20:09

When I started TTC I got loads of ovulation sticks and apps and a thermometer.

To be honest it took the fun out of trying. All I would say is forget all that for a couple of months and just enjoy trying. I found I didn't need any of that stuff after all.

HaveCourageBeKind Mon 04-Dec-17 14:37:58

Oh guys! thanks so much for all your advice!

That's exactly what I need, to know not to worry if it doesn't happen straight away and any pearls of wisdom that made you go 'I wish I known that' smile

Tinselistacky Mon 04-Dec-17 14:39:22

Don't tell people you are ttc! Apart from the fact nobody needs to know you are dtd every night (!) it puts more pressure on both of you!!

NorthernLurker Mon 04-Dec-17 14:43:18

Don't put things off because you might be pregnant when they will happen but do be sensible. So book your holiday for next year but don't book a zika ridden hell hole where you will be exclusively paragliding and white water rafting.

SPARKS17 Mon 04-Dec-17 14:51:43

I'm in a similar boat have just started trying! Love the advice from other posters, however, I have started charting right away as I am a similar age to you and I want to know exactly what is going on with my cycle so if I do need fertility assistance down the line I have plenty of data to look back on.

For instance my first month I know I didn't ovulate, so I want to keep to keep an eye on that to see if I do/don't ovulate in future cycles.

I have been reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility which was an eye opener as to how and when conception can actually occur.

thecolonelbumminganugget Mon 04-Dec-17 17:37:04

I started charting straight away too (for exactly the same reason as sparks) all the advice I'd seen was that it is perfectly normal to take up to year, which as I'm the wrong side of 35 with pcos we thought was going to be a conservative estimate in our case, and we conceived on cycle 2 which caught us off guard. I think it wise to be cautious that it can take time but equally you need to be prepared that it can take no time at all!

Keeping track of your periods is a great shout, I did for a few months before we started ttc and was surprised that my cycle was a week longer than I thought. Helps to know these things.

(Basically don't do what we did and not bother renovating your house because 'this is likely to go on for ages yet')

MaisyPops Mon 04-Dec-17 17:39:23

I'm not trying to be negative, but I wish someone had spelt this out to me when I started trying.
We started August last year and I WISH someone had told me this.

VenusStarr Mon 04-Dec-17 19:53:19

Hello everyone

I've just finished my last pill (last Thursday) and waiting for my breakthrough bleed. We're not officially trying yet as we're getting married early next spring, but like some on here, I'm mid 30s and a bit worried it may take a while. Equally what happens if it doesn't take long?! So I flit between these two thoughts. I've been using ovia for the last few months just to get into the habit of recording my body changes. I'm not going to temp or use ovulation sticks yet. If nothing has happened in around 8 months (my next birthday) I'll probably start that. I've also started 7 seas preconception that that's vit d and folic acid.

I felt quite strange last week knowing it was my last pill smile

HaveCourageBeKind Tue 05-Dec-17 09:51:13

Ahhhh exciting times @VenusStarr ! I would be too impatient to wait that long heheh smile when we decided last month this month will be fist try! YIKES! Exciting and scary all at the same time...

HaveCourageBeKind Tue 05-Dec-17 09:53:55

I agree @MaisyPops... It's good to know that and not panic if the things don't go as quickly as I would like them to...

user1470147116 Tue 05-Dec-17 13:48:21

My advice (this worked for me, am 14 weeks pregnant, and 40 years old)

Use Clearblue monitor and make sex about 4 times during highs/peaks

Limit alcohol (especially for men)

Limit caffeine

Eat more fruit and veg

Yoga

Pregnacare conception tablets

Fish oil tablets

Ubiquinol tablets

Do fertility tests after 6 months, don't wait 2 years.

Good luck!

user1470147116 Tue 05-Dec-17 13:54:50

Do test early, few days before period due using First Response test.

Because if you have 3 or more chemical miscarriages (like I did) the NHS will test you and may find a solution (this happened in my case).

I only knew I had these chemical miscarriages because I tested early (otherwise you might just think its a heavy period etc)

If I didn't test early I would never had know I have APS. The NHS only test for it if you have early losses.

Now I am on right medication to keep baby.

So testing early every month using First Response test means I now am 14 weeks pregnant!

MaisyPops Tue 05-Dec-17 14:03:40

user1470147116
I didn't know that.
Is that all trusts?
We always avoid testing early to avoid getting upset.
I might test early if that's the case.

HaveCourageBeKind Tue 05-Dec-17 14:39:55

Thanks so much @user1470147116 ! This is really informative and I also didn't realise about testing early... also it's quite frightening to hear about just how many miscarriages happen... I always thought it's very rare...

So if it's a mechanical miscarriage the test would be positive but you would still get your period... am I correct?

user1470147116 Tue 05-Dec-17 16:15:45

Hi @user1470147116

As far as I know all trusts will do detailed fertility testing if you have 3 or more miscarriages, these include chemical miscarriages.

Hi @havecouragebekind

Early miscarriages (5 weeks) are very common and most women will never even realise they had one!

A chemical miscarriage is when you do the test a week early (using sensitive test like First Response) and then a week later you get your period.

If I didn't test early every month I may never have know that I got pregnant.

A very common cause of early miscarriages is APS:
www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/pregnancy-complications/antiphospholipid-syndrome-aps

I think its the cause of 25% (?) of miscarriages and most women will never know they have it unless you ask GP to test for it (like I did).

If you have APS you simply take low dose aspirin/heparin to stay pregnant.

On Mumsnet everyone told me not to test early but if I followed that advice I would not be sitting here in my 2nd trimester!

Miss83 Tue 05-Dec-17 16:50:17

Wanted to say hi.... Me and DP and both 34 and just starting TTC. Just had cycle one.... On to cycle two this month. Good luck in your journey and thanks for sharing all the advice. I have just been taking folic acid for the past four months. Trying not to tell anyone we are TTC but people keep on all the time about when are we going to start lol.

TheIntrovertedMum Tue 05-Dec-17 18:43:05

Welcome to the club!! I would say relax and enjoy it. Don't let I become a chore and don't stress out about it too much! Also start taking pregnacare cause then you know you'll be covered with all your vitamins and minerals!

I'm ttc number 2 atm smile

Sealaplace Tue 05-Dec-17 19:58:29

Hopping on here for some wisdom! First cycle of ttc and I'm scared and excited and everything in between! Trying so hard not to get carried away because I know it might not happen for us straight away.
Good luck x

Marymaymay Tue 05-Dec-17 20:05:54

OP - loads of shit things can happen to you at any time in life. Just get on with enjoying it and please don’t go round thinking about mc statistics. Honestly, if you were to have one, which is less likely than NOT having one, you’ll have enough time to think about it then.

Test early if you want to, but test for the joy of knowing you are pregnant rather than to know if you have a miscarriage.

If you start the path of parenthood off with worry about losing a child it’s a slippery slope!

Best of luck with it

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