Ectopic pregnancy anyone?

[Marriageoftrueminds]

Hi all, don’t think there is a thread on this at the moment, so I’m hoping for a bit of advice / good news stories / a handhold really!

Basically after 18 months TTC our first baby (after coming off Depo shot which messed up my cycles), we finally conceived and found out I was pregnant on 20th October but - to cut a long story short - it now turns out it’s an ectopic pregnancy. My hCG is dropping slowly and I’m bleeding but not massively, pain is now minimal, so they’re going for expectant management.

I’m wondering about my chances of the pregnancy resolving without medical intervention, and also longer term, whether I will ever manage to have a healthy pregnancy that actually finds its way to my womb...

Anyone else been through this? Thanks in advance for your advice!

[Cariad2017]

Sending enormous hugs your way. Have you looked at the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust’s website? I found this to be an invaluable source of information after my Ectopic, and it should certainly guide you through the different ways of treating Ectopic pregnancies and the odds of conceiving again (which are in fact very good).

If it helps, I suffered a ruptured ectopic in September 2015 and conceived DS (my first child) almost exactly 6 month later.

I’m currently ttc #2 and have been trying for a year (this is cycle 14) without even a hint of a BFP so I can only begin to imagine the heartache you must be going through given how long you’ve been trying.

I shall be keeping everything crossed that you have a healthy pregnancy very very soon. Xxxx

[fartyghost]

My first pregnancy was an ectopic, I had two successful pregnancies afterwards. Even if you lose a tube (I did) the drop in fertility is said not to be 50% because of the way the ovaries and tubes are actually not that far apart and an egg from the tubeless ovary can be picked up by the other tube so to speak.

[Daffodil77]

I had a suspected ectopic in august that resolved itself without medical management. Hopefully you don't need intervention.

I was chatting to my mum about it the other day. She lost a tube at 17 and went on to conceive 6 times. Unfortunately 2 of those ended in MC but it goes to show that it shouldn't impact your ability to have children in the long run.

[BarchesterFlowers]

I had an ectopic in 2005 which was managed by methotrexate not surgery. It did not affect my getting pregnant again or anything travelling into my womb. I had lots of pregnancies (and lots of miscarriages) and only one ectopic.

Best wishes OP, it is very hard 💐

[Marriageoftrueminds]

Thanks so much everyone, I’m so sorry you have all been through this too and for your losses but it is nice to hear your stories of hope too! fartyghost I wasn’t aware your other tube could pick up an egg, that’s really interesting! I’m going to look into it more. The doctor said that even if the ectopic resolves without treatment they will do a lap to check tubal patency, and we shouldn’t ttc until then. I’m 32 so I’m a bit worried time is against us! But that’s just life I suppose!

[fullofwonder]

I had an ectopic pregnancy last September and had a tube removed. I am now 7 months pregnant with identical twins - conceived naturally despite also having PCOS. It's absolutely possibly! Xx

[Marriageoftrueminds]

Cariad I hope you get your BFP soon, I have a friend in the same situation, she conceived quickly for her first but is taking longer for her second. Fingers crossed!

Flowers so sorry for all your miscarriages, have you had a healthy pregnancy too? Hope you had success and a baby at the end of it all!

[Marriageoftrueminds]

Oh wonder just saw your post, what a lovely outcome, 7 months! Not long to go now!

[BarchesterFlowers]

Don't worry about time yet OP , I didn't start until I was 37 and whilst I had 11 pregnancies and only one child there was a reason for all the miscarriages (autoimmune issue).

By the time a (likely) solution was found I had decided that I had had enough and should just consider myself very fortunate.

All these years on wouldn't change my family for the world.

[Lillybilly20]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I had an ectopic and needed emergency surgery to remove the baby and my tube. The doctors checked my insides during the operation and said I was completely healthy and should be fine concieving. I'm in my second month of TTC so will let you know how I get on. Take time to grieve and look after yourself hugs ❤️🌸🌺xxx

[Marriageoftrueminds]

Hi all, thanks so much for all the supportive messages and advice, you have really helped. I’m in pain today and bleeding is a bit worse than yesterday but apparently it can come and go so I’m trying to stay positive. I’m just finding it hard to look beyond what is happening to me - I am meant to be doing lots of work today to prepare for next week and I’m just struggling to motivate myself to get on with ‘normal life’! It doesn’t help that because we were ttc for so long and all hormones, Sperm analysis etc came back normal, I actually suspect both tubes are probably blocked and that’s why this happened. Feeling
V sorry for myself right now, even though I know that’s silly as there is so much to be thankful for!

Thanks again all!

[Marriageoftrueminds]

Good luck with ttc Lillybilly!

[Lillybilly20]

Marriageoftrueminds Did the give you any stronger pain killers like codine? I'm just worried they have left you as they need to keep checking your bloods. Hope youre ok xxx 🌸

[Marriageoftrueminds]

They didn’t, I don’t feel the pain is too bad, I am taking over-the-counter codeine+paracetamol. I’m going back on Friday for another blood test, my hCG was very low (only 25) and is dropping, albeit slowly, and the bleeding is light, so I do see why they feel I am low risk. They gave me their number to call at any time if things worsen so I feel in good hands. I just want it all to be over, I know it’s awful to say but I am vacillating now between desperate to ttc again, and feeling like maybe having a baby isn’t worth all this heartache and worry, 18 months ttc and now this. My sister has two beautiful children who enrich my life no end and I’m so glad they exist and that she had no problems conceiving or during pregnancy, but I can’t help look at them and want that for myself too. On top of this all my friends are having babies, four of them have given birth this year to lovely healthy babies and two of them conceived in the first month of trying (again Im really happy for them and wouldn’t want it any other way but it’s hard for me at the same time), my lovely sister-in law is now pregnant too, and goodness knows who else will be announcing happy news soon and I just feel like, why is?! I know that’s stupid, there’s no reason; it’s just random. Poor DH is being so strong and supportive, I feel guilty for not being able to give him a child (problem is all on my side, his sperm is good). Sorry, feel like I’m just wallowing I’m self-pity now!!!

[Marriageoftrueminds]

Why us, not why is, should read my posts before sending haha! Anyway sorry I feel pathetic now, you’ve all been through so much too, I need to remind myself how lucky I am and stop being a drama-queen!! Thanks for listening all, good luck to you all with ttc as well!

[Darkstar4855]

My friend had a complicated early miscarriage which (eventually) resulted in surgery, then had an ectopic and had to have a tube removed. She went on to have a straightforward pregnancy and now has a gorgeous little boy.

Whether you carry on ttc or not is a personal decision that only you and your partner can make but there is definitely a good chance of having a successful pregnancy after an ectopic.

[Lillybilly20]

Marriageoftrueminds you are not being a drama queen. You've just lost a baby so you have every right to feel the way you do. I completely know how you feel with regards to friends and family having babies, it's all anyone seems to talk about and i'm always on edge waiting for someone to announce! I've left it well over a year before ttc again and for me I think It would have helped me feel better if I had started TTC sooner. Take time to heal and grieve but going on to have another baby I believe will heal me and will be worth it. Here if you need to talk 🌺🌸🌺

[Cariad2017]

Thank you Marriageoftrueminds.

Sorry you’re having such a tough time. Do consider taking some time off work if you can to help you deal with the emotional aspects of what you’re going through, even if you feel well enough to work physically. Surgery meant that I had to take time off after my ectopic, but it definitely helped and it made me regret working through my early miscarriage which left me emotionally and physically drained. If it happens again, I will almost certainly be taking time off.

I can definitely identify with the feelings of envy towards others who seem to find that pregnancy comes to them so easily. My ectopic coincided with three of my closest friends giving birth to their first child and another very close friend ended up being due the day after my ectopic would have been due, which I found very very difficult at the time.

This time round I started trying before any of my NCT friends, and they’re all now pregnant or have had DC2, as has everyone else I hung out with on my last Mat Leave! That feeling of being left behind is horrid.

Here to hand hold. Just know that you’re not alone in experiencing these emotions. Long term ttc is excruciating and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

[Sammyclaire22]

Hi guys can i join? It's a week since my ruptured ectopic. 1st pregnancy after nearly a year of ttc. Only my husband and boss knows as I can't bare to tell anyone else.

[Marriageoftrueminds]

Oh sammyclaire I’m so sorry, it’s awful isn’t it. Come and hang out with us here! I hope you’re on the mend physically, the emotional side will take a bit longer but you’re not alone!

How was the surgery and how are you feeling now?

[Sammyclaire22]

Hey sorry for the slow reply I've kind of been hiding out in a little bubble trying to keep busy to stop thinking even though it's all I really think about.
The surgery went fine, i took my stitches out myself over the last week and glad to say the outey bellybutton they created has gone! Sounds stupid but I don't mind the little scars but didn't want what looked like a baked bean as a reminder

We've managed to dtd twice since it all happened but my dh is struggling a bit with over thinking and ruining his mood. He's totally on board with trying again (i think hes putting too much pressure on himself) but I'm not sure how to help him just enjoy the moment. He had problems before at times but it seems worse now as he's worried about it happening again.
The unreasonable side of me just feels so frustrated that it's yet another obstacle in our path- it's hard enough fitting in dtd with health problems and his shifts and mine and being in the mood without him freaking out at the crucial moment. I haven't told him as I don't want to add to his worries, and I know it's not really fair, but I just want my baby back