Deep breath - what do I need to know?

[AyeAyeFishyPie]

DH and I have decided to TTC in January ( we have a hol booked for December, and mat leave would work better - i entirely understand I may well not get pregnant immediately).

What should I be doing? Coil is coming out tomorrow, we will then be using condoms. Not really sure why I'm posting – just to mark it in my head I suppose!

Gulp!

[0hCrepe]

My advice is just have sex about 3 times a week. Don't tell your dh when you think you might be ovulating and don't bother trying to pinpoint that anyway.
Don't expect it to happen straight away!

[physicskate]

Start taking folic acid and vit d now.

[AyeAyeFishyPie]

Thank you. You wouldnt bother buying an ovulation test?

[AyeAyeFishyPie]

Thanks

[0hCrepe]

No I wouldn't. I've been pg 4 times and have 3 kids and messed about with ovulation tests but they never helped. I always got pg by just having sexy regularly and dh definitely did not like feeling pressured to perform on certain times! It's pretty obvious anyway, 2 weeks before period due. At the end of the day, for a couple without fertility difficulties, it's about having sex enough. If nothing happens within a year then maybe check ovulation etc.

[justmeonly]

Not sure why I'm giving advice as I'm having no success at ttc myself! But definitely start taking folic acid now - ideally you should have 3 months worth in your system before you get pregnant.

Personally, I would keep it as stress/test free to start with. Then if things don't happen in the first few months then you could try ovulating kits/temperature charting/etc. I'm sure a lot of people do it the other way round - this is just my way of not getting overly stressed about it.

Good luck!

[ASqueakingInTheShrubbery]

Start on folic acid and don't overthink it for the first few months. Have regular sex, get used to the rhythms of your body without contraception. Make a note of when your period starts each month. A friend advised me to see the doctor if I wasn't pregnant within 6 months, on the basis that even if they don't think you need referral at that point, at least it's on record how long you've been trying if you need help later.

[AyeAyeFishyPie]

DH will be delighted by your verdict of the ovulation kit!

Im so tempted to start now - but im a teacher and it would make a significant impact if we were lucky enough to conceive straight away.

[0hCrepe]

I think we kind of want to 'do' something to get pregnant but it doesn't work like that unfortunately! All it takes is regular sex. Also if your dh doesn't fancy the idea of ovulation etc don't share that stuff with him it's a passion killer.
Vent on here though!!

[AyeAyeFishyPie]

Oh no sorry I didnt mean it like that. DH is great with all things gynae - i was joking as it will mean more sex!

You are are right - i want to 'do' something! Will buy pregnacare tomorrow. Yikes - shit got real!

[0hCrepe]

exciting for you. Good luck!

[AyeAyeFishyPie]

Thanks!

Justme - sorry to hear its not comng easily - do you mind me asking how long you have been trying?

[Hulaballoo]

Personally I can't stand not knowing if or when I'm ovulating...I tried not using opk and was never successful then started googling (bad idea) then started a load of supplements to help) bad idea)... But what has worked for me every time I've fallen pregnant is using the clear blue digital dual hormone smiley face ovulation sticks and dtd every other day after period finished and every day during flashing smiley and for two days after static smiley.. Definitely agree with vitamin D(high strength from Asda are good 25ug) and folic acid, I take solgar folate 800mg which I've heard absorbs better. It sounds a bit prescriptive but it's just how I could mentally manage lol...also recommend Ovia app. Most of all have fun dtd bd 😁

[Hulaballoo]

Oh yeah dh didn't want to hear about when I was ovulating either... So I just tested and knew for myself etc

[AyeAyeFishyPie]

DH wont mind - but he would much prefer to have sex more often 'just in case'!!!

[justmeonly]

12 cycles so far 😊 It'll happen (or not) when it's meant to. (Am feeling philosophical about it today!)

[Bubblegum89]

DO NOT SYMPTOM SPOT. It will consume your life. During the two week wait, you WILL get symptoms that mimic pregnancy symptoms but they are due to progesterone levels. I’m on cycle 11 (af due Friday so will be on to cycle 12) and other than have sex around ovulation, I’ve learnt that it’s literally pointless to overthink things. Your boobs might hurt, you might feel sick etc but just don’t even think about it. Good luck!

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

The problem is it's very individual. I really disagree with some of the advice given so far, but it isn't bad advice, it's just not right for me. It may or may not be for you. I know that so many women don't talk to their partner about things like ovulation because they think it's a mood-killer - I hate that idea. This is very much a shared project for us, and the thought of not sharing something that takes up so much of my own headspace with DH is a really weird one to me. I have been known to initiate sex with 'so, my mucus is looking great today...' - it works for us! So I think you find your own normal on this - long before we started TTCing I would happily tell DH about my periods, etc. so I think you know what you're like as a couple on this.

I wouldn't (and didn't) use OPKs the first few cycles, but I also can't imagine having made it to a year (we're at 15 months now, but with three miscarriages along the way) without trying them. For me, once we got past the first three or four cycles and I got less happy to wait and see what happened, I found that first using OPKs and then, a few cycles later, actually very psychologically helpful - it was reassuring to see I was ovulating, and it also made me feel like I was doing something. I now have to do it (recurrent miscarriage clinic has put me on progesterone from 7dpo each cycle, so I have to track ov) but again, for me I found it helpful, not stressful, but some women find the exact opposite.

Hopefully none of this will apply to you because you'll have a nice relaxed first couple of months and fall pregnant then! But I think you'll find your own way through it if not - it's too individual for anyone to be able to tell you the 'best' way.

[Theworldisfullofidiots]

I know this is flippant but my advice would be to go on holiday with really boring and annoying people. (in our defence, friends of friends)

[redcaryellowcar]

As a mum of a summer baby I would advise you to wait until new year. That aside I think i ovulat earlier in the month than I thought, so crack on with sex every other day straight after your period finishes. As for tests, I only know this about ovulating early as ds2 was conceived after saying we would give it a go, had sex once early in the month, dh was then away and bam, I was pregnant. Dh pleased and disappointed in equal measure as thought he was on for a few months of regular action!!

[flumpybear]

I’d say don’t let it consume your life just take all the vitamins and minerals etc eat healthily and see if you can feel when you’re ovulating, watch for CM etc just so you’re knowledgable on the subject then try to enjoy pre pregnancy / ttc and don’t fret
Good luck!

[Sittingintheshade]

I would say definitely don’t expect it to happen straight away but be prepared that it might. I was completely in shock that it happened for me on the first month (I used opks to pinpoint things) as had been reading here that it can take a long time. I’d was expecting a long wait to get a bfp

[Lozmatoz]

Buy this on eBay, it’s really informative! Don’t do ovulation tests, they’ll send you crackers. This book explains how to know when you are ovulating by your body. It talks about all the technical stuff but also how to not get stressed by things.

Start folic acid and vitamin D as OP said. Enjoy the sex rather than viewing it as ‘must be done today’. Good luck!

[Peanutty86]

Hi OP,

I’ve not read all the messages on here as I’m rushing. I suppose you’re not on hormonal birth control? I don’t know how much of a planner you are, every woman is different but I’m going to tell you what I did, someone who always needs to know what’s happening:
I came off the pill in April and immediately started charting temperature and cervix mucus. After worrying that I’ll have extremely long and irregular cycles (ones was 79days) I started taking vitex which is a herbal supplement regulating your hormones. Cycles back to 35-40 days. I ovulated in all my Post pill cycles (was important for me to know that!) Then I started taking OPKs in September, just to get used to it. We decided we were going to start trying after our wedding end of September.
Anyway, a day after the +OPK in September we thought we’ll just see what happens. It didn’t happen, we were too late.
October: I had ordered conceive plus lube, (in addition to my Vitex (up until ovulation I only!) evening primrose oil (for more fertile cm), prenatals i had all been taking for months) and we had sex ob the day of the positive OPK, (were both away a couple of days before before so couldn’t), morning after, evening after.... and bam: I’m 4 weeks today. Never thought it’d happen so fast. I know I’d given it my best. I think it’s great when people can be relaxed about it, I’m just too impatient and in this case it worked out.
Good luck!!

[repetitionrepetition]

don’t worry/create problems unless you need to! just enjoy some fun sex times with someone you love and don’t overthink it. ok if it’s not happened in 1 year, or 2 year then start throwing internet research at it.