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ready for ttc?

(9 Posts)
Grainedesesame Sat 14-Oct-17 13:04:02

Hello, How do you know that you are ready to ttc? Ready for a baby? Im 34, married for two years and over the last few months, we've been talking a lot about babies. Im taking my prenatal vitamin for a few months and know my cycle very well. My husband is fully ready but Im incredibly scared about taking the jump. Im worry about having another human being with me at all the time and never be independent ever again. thanks for sharing your experiences.

holdthewine Sat 14-Oct-17 14:35:49

No one is ever ready!

We had our first at 23. It was a shock to conceive the first month of trying and nothing could’ve prepared us for the impact. But I wouldn’t change a thing!

Most of our adult children have their own now and would agree that there is never the right time and nothing can prepare you for the impact (love, joy, exhaustion, the relentlessness) you just have to take the plunge if that’s what you both want.

Peanutty86 Sat 14-Oct-17 14:53:55

I think there is always some kind of doubt or worry in the back of your head. If not, what kind of person would you be? Yes we all say ‘not a problem’ but we also all have some fears in the most random ways. In my opinion, it’s healthy. Humans adapt to their surroundings, and I’m sure that there is no greater love than your child’s. You’re taking prenatal Vitamins. You are already preparing. I’ve only started TTC a month ago and the first time we had unprotected sex, actually trying, was the most weird thing ever. We just looked at each other and thought ‘wow, that’s a first! And we’re doing it together!’ And this made as stronger and even more of a unit. You’re lucky to have a partner who is ready but (by the looks of it) not pushing you. If you ever want children, go for it. It’s not going to get easier the older you get.

ForeverHopeful21 Sat 14-Oct-17 15:20:44

As others have said, I don't think anyone ever feels fully ready. If you know you want children at some point in your life and you're in a happy relationship and can support the child, then what exactly are you waiting for??

I had to convince my husband to start trying as he 'wasn't ready' and unfortunately it took us 3.5 years which isn't what either of us expected. I'm not saying this will happen to you, but what I'm saying is, sometimes it isn't worth waiting around and you should just go for it.
Even after all our trying, it's still scary knowing that I'm now pregnant and our lives have changed forever. I think it's normal to feel this way.

Beansprout30 Sat 14-Oct-17 20:00:10

As others have said, nobody is ever truly read but you just have to go for it. My dd is 15 months and motherhood has been bloody hard, but at the same time, it's totally changed my life for the better. Each day seeing this little person growing and learning is truly amazing, nothing comes close in my opinion.

MouseLove Sun 15-Oct-17 08:14:06

YES you can be ready. This whole nobody is ever ready is quite insulting to those of us who worked hard to make sure we could support a child. If you're not then do not TTC. We waited until we were emotionally, physically and financially ready to have a child. However guess what, were still not pregnant and I have wobbly moments that it might never happen. I'm 34 next month. I say do it if you're completely ready but be mindful it might take you a month or years. Good luck. X

ForeverHopeful21 Sun 15-Oct-17 13:21:37

@MouseLove there is no insult intended and I'm sorry you feel that way.

As I said in my post, we've tried for 3.5 years, also mid-30s, had many complications and also a miscarriage, so trust me, we want children! However, my point was that now that I'm lucky enough to be pregnant again it's still frightening knowing that I'm bringing another person in to the world, will I be a good enough mum, will my child be ok, how will my life change? etc etc - I don't think these thoughts mean I shouldn't be having a baby.

Most people I know were frightened and some even had doubts, but I don't know any of them who have had regrets.
Best of luck on your journey.

Chattycat78 Sun 15-Oct-17 13:54:22

Yes it's scary. I get it. However as other posters have said, bear in
Mind that it's not as easy as you might think to get pregnant and it only gets harder from here on in.

Grainedesesame Mon 16-Oct-17 07:48:32

thank you for your inspiring message. It feel reassuring to know that pretty much everyone experience fear before ttc.

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