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TTC while bfing

(48 Posts)
RooKangaroo Tue 19-Sep-17 21:37:22

Hello!

I'm currently bfing my almost one year old, and I haven't had my period back yet.

Yes, this is awesome and I'm very pleased, but we want to TTC for #2 in Dec/Jan, and I have no idea when my fertile window is. Last time I tracked my periods and was very lucky to get accurate information about when ovulated through that.

But now I have no idea what to do! I didn't get into all the opk stuff last time, so I don't know....basically I don't know when to have sex! 😳

Does anyone have any advice? Or anyone in a similar boat? TIA!

Isadora2007 Tue 19-Sep-17 21:41:36

Is there a specific reason why you need to ttc then?
I reckon dropping or cutting down night feeds made the difference enough for my periods to resume.
I personally prefer the almost 3 year age gaps that BFing longer term helped create though initially I had wanted closer to 2 years. But I recall being very glad approaching 2yrs that I didn't have a newborn!!!
I didn't need to give up BFing to get pregnant either... but my periods have only returned closer to second birthdays than first.

Malapropist Tue 19-Sep-17 21:57:45

Hello! I'm in a similar boat! If you are interested, have a look at Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing by Sheila Kippley which will give you more detail on this - and is an interesting read!

Basically, if you aren't having periods, you aren't ovulating and so you can't get pregnant. Of course, you will probably ovulate before your first post partum period so you can get pregnant but you have no real way of knowing when that will happen unless you make a conscious decision to (for example) night wean etc. Breastfeeding can stop you ovulating but impact it has varies enormously depending on the amount / frequency of feeds and also on the individual! I know people who got their period back while exclusively feeding and others who only fed a couple of times a day but didn't get it back for over 3 years.

There is also a theory that you can increase your calorie intake to shock your body into restarting fertility (basically telling it that you are ok to get pregnant and feed your existing baby because resources are plentiful).

Personally, I spent a year attempting to "TTC" without a period and it was a pain in the neck. I never knew when to test. I never knew if I could relax and have a glass of wine. I was constantly disappointed. I felt incredibly frustrated. My period eventually came back after more than 2 years when I reduced feeds to just one a day, and I was pregnant the next month.

Now I am TTC number 3 and have just reduced feeds to 2x day and increased calorie intake slightly. DC2 is almost 2 years old so I feel that she is ready for this. I wouldn't personally reduce feeds before 12 months and probably not before 18 months but I know most people don't feel the same way. I'm hoping to give it a couple of months to settle and then TTC properly in January.

Like Isodora I also prefer the almost 3 year gap that I ended up with first time and will be aiming for that again. But again that's obviously incredibly personal.

Good luck OP!

8DaysAWeek Wed 20-Sep-17 06:50:26

Following as in the same boat with my 14 month old and want to start TTC in December!

No period yet (who'd have thought anyone would actually be wishing their period back!?). Started back at work PT 5 months ago so he goes at least 12 hours without feeding 2 days a week, and for 6 weeks he's slept in his own cot without feeding through the night most nights - though he's been feeding from me for the past hour and a half this morning...

I'm getting some PMS symptoms like skin changes, bloating etc so have been convincing myself it's coming soon.

I've done a couple of ovulation tests which have barely shown a line never mind being close to positive. Gonna chuck that in probably cos it'll just drive me mad.

I really want a close age gap for work and financial reasons mainly but don't want to cut down feeds for DS so what will be will be I guess!

Violet1988 Wed 20-Sep-17 12:32:54

Hi I am also feeding my DS who is 15 months and wanting to start ttc number 2 in December/January time and no period back yet. It's nice to find some others in the same boat. I work two days a week an hes goes about 10 hours or so on those days without feeding. He does however feed multiple times at night an I think this is the reason my period isn't back yet. I keep going back an forth with the decision as to whether to night wean or not. Often I feel that I'm wrong to want to do it and that he still wants the milk, so I'd be been selfish. Then other times I'm quite positive about it been the right decision. X

KalaLaka Wed 20-Sep-17 12:37:03

I am bf 12 mth DD. She feeds every few hours, day and night. I got my period back around 4mths after having her and started ttc 2 months ago. I took vitD3, conception vits and evening primrose oil from day 1-ovulation. I also did opks last month for the first time and realised I ovulate much later than previously, day21! This helped because the month before I'd given up trying by then (too tired!!) and assumed my fertile window was closed.

I got a positive pregnancy test on day 32! Not a clue what to do next regarding planning weaning though. Will have to figure that out!

KalaLaka Wed 20-Sep-17 12:38:36

violet I'm flip flopping between night weaning and not.. just dreading the crying and don't want to upset her. I think I'll do it soon though, just need to muster up dome strength!

KalaLaka Wed 20-Sep-17 12:38:55

*some

flutterby12 Wed 20-Sep-17 12:51:05

I'm in the same boat! DS is 10 months and I've just come off the pill a few weeks ago. Still no period!

Violet1988 Wed 20-Sep-17 12:52:13

Congratulations KalaLaka on your positive test! How you finding early pregnancy with a little one?i suppose your decision will depend on how tired you are an which way will mean you ultimately get more sleep . do you co sleep? Feed to sleep? I co-sleep with DS on a double mattress in his room. Last night for the first time I tried spending some of the night in my own bed but it didn't really work out that well as I was in an out of his room all night. Think he had about four feeds in the night after been fed to sleep initially. I guess I had wondered if it was just me waking him up in the night by moving an if I wasn't there he might just sleep through!

Writerwannabe83 Wed 20-Sep-17 13:02:05

Despite EBF my baby 24/7 I still got my period back when he was 4 months old and my normal cycle resumed pretty quickly.

When DS was about 2ish we decided to TTC #2. I was still breast feeding at this point, sometimes 2-3 times a day but other times going 48 hours without doing it due to my shift patterns.

Despite having regular periods and positive OPKs every month I just couldn't get pregnant. After 5 months someone suggested it may be because I was still BF my son but I dismissed it due to my regular periods and the fact that BF was pretty infrequent. However, when I hit 10 months of not getting pregnant I decided to stop BFing DS just to see if it did make a difference and then I caught pregnant on my next cycle.

Some women conceive easy whilst BF'ing and for other women it's near impossible and you won't know until you try.

The best of luck to you and I hope you fall pregnant soon flowers

8DaysAWeek Wed 20-Sep-17 13:41:21

It's lovely to see a few of us in the same boat - but also sad to hear the reality of ttc while breastfeeding sad of course, we need to hear it so that we aren't too disappointed if it doesn't happen. We fell pregnant on our first attempt with DS so it's an odd feeling knowing it will likely not happen that way this time.

Has anyone considered stopping BF at this age to ttc (12-15 months or so)? I think my husband thinks I should - though he'd never say it in such a way - but I just don't feel DS is ready for it yet.

Speckledfrogonlog Wed 20-Sep-17 13:57:08

My period returned at 8 months, I think because I dropped the day feeds as DD was eating well at this age, and I had been trying to get her to take a bottle of formula (which she never did). Was still feeding 4-5 times a night though.

I made the conscious decision to night wean now at 13 months as TTC and nothin was happening before. Also I was feeling shattered for work and couldn't do it anymore. I didn't thinkDD would take it too well but she surprised me, and had stopped after 2 nights!!!! Clearly she was ready and maybe I wasn't! Hopefully it makes a difference now, but it took me 8 months to fall pregnant with DD so not expecting things to happen immediately!

8DaysAWeek Wed 20-Sep-17 14:01:29

@Speckledfrogonlog yeah I kinda night weaned DS at 12 months. I say kinda because the aim was really just to get him into his own cot because cosleeping wasn't working anymore. He would not sleep, just constantly feed. He used to feed to sleep then stay half latched but he then started needing to suckle constantly so rigger of us were sleeping properly. He now sleeps good solid chunks of time and will go back down if he wakes without having to feed which is great. Still no period though 😂

Violet1988 Wed 20-Sep-17 15:50:36

8daysaweek, how did you go about getting him to accept the cot/sleeping alone an how do you get him back off to sleep without feeding him? Except for walking him in the pram I have no alternative ways of getting him to sleep! I think I'm going to go for feeding him to sleep as normal an sneaking away an seeing how many times I have to come back to feed him an hoping that it's at least less times than if I bed shared the whole night. Personally I wouldn't consider stopping bf at this age to TTC, maybe if he's two an a half an I haven't got my cycle back I would cut back a lot, but I really want him to stop when he's ready. Although this is conflicted with wanting 3 or 4 children ideally in total an thinking if I let the next self wean this might not be possible.

Lineeye Wed 20-Sep-17 19:03:44

Hi. I’m currently ttc, dc is 25 months old. Still no period since 2014, until a couple of days ago, I’ve had a withdrawal bleed/ light period after taking the mini pill Cerelle for 10 days to try to kickstart my cycle after reading on one of the other ttc whilst breastfeeding threads about it. I’ve tried the “eating loads” theory and it didn’t work for me. Cutting feeds didn’t work either, but only loosely tried night weaning. If this doesn’t work for me, the next step will be complete weaning, however I would like to continue feeding for a bit longer (until teething is over!!!) so far, the mini pill theory seems to be working, so fingers crossed!

8DaysAWeek Wed 20-Sep-17 19:06:56

Violet I wish I could say it was easy but it wasn't. It was quicker than I imagined though. I basically started a bed time routine with him - bath, book while feeding and cuddles, then I'll say goodnight, it's time for bed and in he'll go. The first couple of nights he cried a lot, but I stayed with him and stroked him until he fell asleep. By the third night I was able to put him down after the routine and he fell asleep by himself. Whenever he wakes (which so far hasn't been more than once during the night) I just go in and give him a cuddle then put him back down. He still sometimes cries when I put him down but it's literally only for 5-10 seconds. I always said I'd never leave him crying but I can hands down say a few tears is better than the hours of tears I get from him during the day if he doesn't get enough sleep. While cosleeping the most he slept for was 2-3 hours at a time his whole life, now he can go 11 hours. I obviously must wake during the night but goes back to sleep. I think the important think is not putting them down asleep. I feed him until he is about to fall asleep then put him down.

KalaLaka Thu 21-Sep-17 14:37:26

violet it's ok so far but when the sickness kicks in I'm going to have a difficult few months. I have 2 other DC too so it'll be beans on toast for teas for a while!

I do a mixture of co-sleeping and cot. I am going to try to start the night weaning this week...aghhhh even typing it fills me with dread smile not sure how to keep the other children asleep during the crying hours either shock

Tictoc12 Thu 21-Sep-17 18:43:57

So nice to know others are in the same boat. I have a 14 month old and I returned to work in June 2 days a week. I would like another baby but i got pregnant with my son when his brother was 2 so had assumed it would be a few months away. Then this month i had all sorts of crazy hormones and started to feel pregnant last week but I've no period so no idea where i am up too! I did a cheap sainos test yesterday and got a faint positive line. Then today ive done 2 clear blue ones and got 'not pregnant'. I feel my 14month old is feeding loads less than my eldest did do it is possible, but i feed on demand/co sleep etc so no real idea how much i feed!. Currently unsure if my hormones are sending me slightly crazy or I am actually pregnant!

Violet1988 Thu 21-Sep-17 19:21:57

If there was a line on the cheap test I would say you are pregnant. From memory clear blue tests require a higher level of the pregnancy hormone in your wee to give a positive reading. Maybe test again with a first response test or do another clear blue digital in a couple of days time x

flutterby12 Thu 21-Sep-17 19:39:02

I'd say it was a positive too.

What is evening primrose oil meant to do if you take it whilst TTC?

It's been 3 weeks now since I came off my period but no bleed, I did have a period before I started it. Have been doing ovulation tests but have only had one faint positive (obviously dtd). I wanted to go back to work pregnant but I don't think that's going to happen!

I still do-sleep with my 10 month old DS and he feeds approx every 3hrs. He has been dropping feeds in the day so I'm hoping this may mean AF returns soon - never wanted them to return so much! 😂

8DaysAWeek Sun 01-Oct-17 19:05:58

How's everyone doing? I know only a week or so has passed but does anyone else feel it's longer??? Like every day I'm wondering when my period is coming back!

I was away from Friday to Monday last week on a hen do. DS got on fine with his dad and food and water. I got a bit uncomfortable come Saturday. Pumping was only making matters worse so I took to hand expressing for comfort in the bath. I was hoping almost 4 days without BFing would kick start things but since I've been home he's feeding non stop so it I'm guessing not now!

flutterby12 Sun 01-Oct-17 19:18:36

Hi! Still no period here either. My DS doesn't feed in the morning now and will go til 3/4pm until the next feed. Still feeding during the night though. Been doing ovulation tests but haven't had a positive yet. I go back to work in a month so hoping he settles if a night a bit more 😕

Violet1988 Sun 01-Oct-17 19:25:41

My son's also been going quite a long time in the day without feeding, usually until about 4pm. But then feeds usually at least a couple of times in the evenings and then to sleep an every 2-3 hours ish through the night. Not bothering with ovulation tests yet. Thinking what's the point when it might be months or even a year or so yet?!

8DaysAWeek Mon 02-Oct-17 20:00:10

I did 2 ovulation tests a few weeks back and barely got a second line so gave that up pretty swiftly! Could be testing for months before anything vaguely close to a positive shows sad

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