Hell no, Aunt Flo, you not invited to this JS-ing party! We're polishing our halos whilst dusting off our bedsheets. It's JS'ing Fred 64!

[choochooo]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
   
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
   
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
   
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
   
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.
   

JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 63 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is HERE

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

[choochooo]

Ok - roll call!

Name: Choo
Age: 37
DC: DS aged 2 (a JS-ing baby!)
TTC: #2 since May 2016. 3 mcs April (mmc 10 weeks), May (3 weeks) and July (7 weeks - twins) this year. Appointment with RMC end of this month to discuss support for recurrent mc. I have short LP and potentially long follicular phase, which may be contributing to the problem.

Hello to you all - nice to be back on JS-ing with my viroids.

Does anyone know when/why we lost the first line of Fred rules? I've tried to look back to find out when it vanished but no luck. It used to say 'Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!'

Not an issue, just curious!

[LG93]

I'm here!!

Name: LG93
Age: 24
DC: zilch!
TTC: #1 since may

Diagnosed with PCOS approx 5 years ago. Currently working on losing weight and kick starting ovaries into action.

[Catscatsandmorecats]

Hi Viroids old and newbies.

Just checking in but will do roll call anyway :)
Name: Cats
Age: 37
DC: DS1 (3) and DS2 (6 days old)
Furbabies: one naughty scruffy pony
TTC: not at the moment!

I just wanted to check in and say hi, after 18 months of MCs and a very anxious pregnancy DS was born last Friday. I know I have checked in and out briefly but got to a point where I was so terrified to say anything to anyone in case something went wrong so dropped off all Freds.

I wanted to say thank you for all the support and laughs and cameraderie over the 18 months we were JSing like rabbits and kept having losses, you Viroids helped keep me sane.

Special love and snogs to Kwick and Just - I think about you often and do a bit of lurking to see how you are. I will keep my gingers crossed for your next steps.

No JSing for me for a while now - good luck everyone!

[justtheonethen]

Oh cats how wonderful. Congratulations on the birth of DS2 . So happy for you.
I'm 15 weeks pregnant . Thank you for thinking of me. IVF first go!

Roll call!

Name: Just
Age: 35 as of this week
TTC: upduffed with 15 week avocado sized baby. Took 3.5 years then some IVF action to get here.
Fur babies: 2 cats

Currently on holiday soaking up the sun.

Hope all ok. Sorry for af lg.

[Catscatsandmorecats]

Oh just! That is amazing news and has brought a tear to my eye. Enjoy your sunny holiday

[justtheonethen]

You're so sweet . I still don't really velieve it!

[choochooo]

Cats congratulations!!!!!!! Aw I'm so happy for you! How are you getting on?

Just how are you feeling? Are you having a lovely holiday?

[choochooo]

LG thanks for coming to join me! I was a bit lonely there!

So this happened yesterday. Lucky number 4? 13dpo

[justtheonethen]

choooooooo everything tightly crossed that this is indeed the lucky one. Congratulations darling.
I'm feeling ok thank you, tablets definitely working but still having days where I feel horrendous. Better than before anyway and I'm loving my holiday.

[Rubberduckies]

Thanks for the new fred choo - and what a lucky start!!

Name: Rubber
Age: 26
Dcs: none
Creatures: one fat pony and one skinny dog
TTC: #1 now on cycle 5

[LG93]

Congratulations choo!! Fingers crossed for a sticky bean!!

Thanks for the well wishes just! Af isn't actually here for another week or so, but it's irrelevant anyway as I've not ovulated so at least I won't be on the edge of my seat if she's late again! Glad the tablets are helping

[justtheonethen]

Oh sorry lg got the wrong end of the stick!

[Presh12345]

Ttc#1
MMC June
38/39 next week
Hubby DTD twice (!!!!) two days ago in the space of an hour!! Then I lay with legs in air for half an hour ffs.
Fingers crossed I've flooded my insides with swimmers!

[Squidge123456]

OMG choo literally keeping crossed for you. Thank you for the new fred too.

Big congratulations to you cats, you have given me hope

Name: Squidge
Age: 39
DC: DS (3)
Fur babies : 2 dogs
TTC: since Feb 17, MC end of March, TTC ever since

[NovaArt3mis]

Oh choo that's so wonderful. I have absolutely everything crossed for you.

Another lurker checking in waves madly

Name: Nova
Age: 27
TTC: since March 2015, mmc Jan 2017, currently 22 weeks upduffed with baby girl.
Fur babies: 1 lion (ok, fluffy cat)

[AliceScarlett]

Omg just so happy for you!

Congratulations Choo & cats!

What a great start to the thread.

I was here throughout 2016, fell off the freds due to angry-bitterness.

Alice
TTC#1 since Jan 2016
Cycle 25
CD 40 (usually 28-30 days)
BFN in the last week =5.

[justtheonethen]

Thanks alice. Still in shock! How are you doing? Here if you want to chat, it's shit isn't it.

[LG93]

*Waves at Alice
*
We can be bitter people together.
It's so difficult but we're all here if you want to rant. I'm still relatively new to the game so probably not as justifiably bitter, but here nonetheless! Xx

[Presh12345]

Best friend due this week, cousin due November, two cousins due January when I should have been. Pissed off. But happy for them at the same time.

[coribeth]

Name cori
Age 41
Ttc for (ever) @5 years so long I've lost count! Currently 7ish dpo but also hoping to adopt in the very near future
4 fur babies
And 3x grown up dc's from previous marriage (child bride!)

[coribeth]

Ooo congratulations choo

[kwick]

Hello everyone! Will do my intro & then catch up:

I am kwick and I have been an honorary member of this fred since 2015, a few months after I started TTC. As I am single I have decided to TTC using donor sperm (aka magic potion). I am old enough to be most of your mothers, at 43.
Since starting this journey I have undergone 9 different attempts- natural IUIs, medicated IVF, natural IVF and medicated IUI. I have had two BFPs (medicated IVF and medicated IUI) and very sadly two MCs. My previous clinic ran a series of blood tests to see if I had some sort of issue that was causing the MCs but it seems it is likely to be the quality of my eggs. So next step: donor egg.
I have switched clinics and after losing over a stone and a half and reducing my BMI to 35 am now about to start treatment again with IVI - pre-scans and bloods in London and then transfer in Spain - that way I can get a closer ethnic match (I am half Spanish) and fall under the donor anonymity laws of Spain.

[kwick]

choo thank you so much for the fred! 😘

cats congratulations!!! Please can we have a photo!!
So nice and comforting to know you are looking out for me. 😍

choo !!!!! yipee!!! What a way to start the new fred!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

[Coffee3]

Congratulations to those with positive tests! 🎉
@kwick I hope you are successful in your trip, I'm glad you've found a good option for you in Spain.
I've been on a few previous threads but not always followed as well as I could.
Im 31
Ttc for 1 year
1 mc
Short cycles (getting worse since ttc!) and trying to lose weight to see if it helps
Have had a pelvic scan and day 2 bloods which looked apparently ok- haven't managed day 19/21 bloods yet due to crazy cycles.
Currently having my second 'period' in 10 days, so no idea about cycle days this month.

[FeatheredTail]

Name: Feather
Age: 33 for a few more weeks
DC: lovely little pudding DD, 16 months, conceived under JS 2015
TTC for #2: not trying too hard - second "what if" cycle.

Waiting to test on Thursday.

Choo that's AMAZING news, eeeeep, I'm keeping everything crossed for you my lovely - what's your EDD date based on your dates, or are you trying not too think that far right now? So pleased for you. Lovely strong line.