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anyone else just fucked off with this lark and want to moan?

(1000 Posts)
stillvicarinatutu Sun 06-Aug-17 23:31:26

come on then.
moan away.
ill start. i m just so fucking fucked off. lost one last year at 44....i thought its a miracle!! wasnt to be but filled me with what appears to be false hope.

been trying ever since. and no. every month the same. this month as well as AF ive another surprise - a cyst. where no one ever ever wants one.
so this month will be lost. along with all dignity as i beg the hospital to lance it.
moan away. go on. you know you want to.

Sharl2017 Sun 06-Aug-17 23:49:07

Ugggh I am so with you on this!
I had an early MC in February where they found I had a large ovarian cyst (9 cm) which they removed in June... was confident this month would be my month... but AF is appearing now envy

Sharl2017 Sun 06-Aug-17 23:50:32

WHY are there so many 'accidental' pregnancies? And why do those people always feel the need to tell you they are accidents when they've really no idea how hard it is to make a baby.

Sharl2017 Sun 06-Aug-17 23:52:13

WHY does someone I work with spend every moment of every day moaning about her said accidental pregnancy when really she's no idea what people around her could be going through and how lucky she actually is.

Sorry OP but thank you for the invitation to moan wine

stillvicarinatutu Sun 06-Aug-17 23:53:08

oh shar.....
i just dont know. but i hear you. im 45 now. i should just give up.

stillvicarinatutu Sun 06-Aug-17 23:55:08

oh ive had wine tonight. af put in an appearance so no reason not to.
please do moan. moan to your hearts content. i need to!

Sharl2017 Mon 07-Aug-17 00:03:29

No don't give up!! (May be easier for me to say as I'm 24 but please don't, can't give into all the accidentals winehalo)
I think the worst thing about TTC is people not knowing so people make throw away remarks and have no idea of the impact.

Do you have any DC at the moment?

stillvicarinatutu Mon 07-Aug-17 00:09:57

i do have grown up dc and im lucky - dp doesnt have any and is older than me.
seems a bit cruel to have let him think we were having one to have that dream taken away again.

shar you have time on your side - lots of time. i hope it happens for you soon x

ASAS Mon 07-Aug-17 00:30:11

Fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking fuck.

TTC has ruined fucking for us. It's made me psychotic and obsessive. And fucking awful and angry when AF. It's spoiled every holiday we've booked hoping, "We can cancel if..." It's ruined the past 2 weddings we went to where I wore a dress I bought in 2016 thinking, "I can buy a maternity gown if..."

It makes me hate my fucking life, which I hate because it's perfect. And it makes me hate my future because I know I'll never get over my fucking shitty fucking 30s.

And breatheeeeee

veggielover4 Mon 07-Aug-17 06:02:27

Hi ladies, just wanted to share my story with you, I'm currently TTC #2 dd is 15 months, however it took me 16 months to fall preggers with her after having two miscarriages in the middle of it all.

I now know know that the miscarriages had to happen for me to fall preggers with her & there was a reason for it all but at the time it was horrible & I felt Shit. It also didn't do our marriage any favours...

#2 is proving pretty tricky too (now in 8 month of trying, but to all of you feeling crappy about it (myself included AF showed her face again today) is hang in there, it will happen, lots of baby dust to all xxx

ForeverHopeful21 Mon 07-Aug-17 13:41:50

Sorry to hear all your difficulties.
I definitely want to moan!!!
I'm at 3 years and 3 months of TTC. Only got pregnant once which ended in MC at 12 weeks. My baby should be due next month.

My next door neighbour has a baby and I honestly can't stand spending time with them anymore and hearing her say "I didn't know what love was until I had my baby" angry
People have no idea how soul destroying it is.

Sharl2017 I had a 10cm cyst removed in June and the surgeon told me that I need to try and conceive asap otherwise new cysts will grows ....I'm like ....trust me mate I'm trying my best here!!!!

WineAndTiramisu Mon 07-Aug-17 14:01:52

I'm with you, cycle 10 now, and it seems like everyone I know it's getting pregnant, just found out a friend got pregnant missing two pills from a pack! Bloody fertile people grin

Sharl2017 Mon 07-Aug-17 16:16:47

Thank you OP! Keep trying. Baby dust being sent your way ❤

Really forever ?? They told me there's less than a 1% chance of me getting another one that doesn't disappear again!

Someone brought in their new born to work today ... Where everyone turned to me and started talking about when I have a baby... When will I have a baby... please stop. Stop. I'm tired. I'm hormonal. I want to punch you in the face. I JUST WANT A BABY grin

Sharl2017 Mon 07-Aug-17 16:19:09

asas im with you on that. I've just been to a wedding where if I hadn't had MC I would have been 6 months pregnant.. so many events over the next few months that I pictured being pregnant for. sigh

Let's all be grumpy together. grin

ForeverHopeful21 Mon 07-Aug-17 17:24:01

Sharl2017 maybe it depends on the type of cyst? Mine was an endometrioma (chocolate cyst). He was adamant that I need to either conceive or go on the pill.

Urghhhh hate the 'when are you having a baby?' or 'do you not want kids?" question. I get that all the time being a prenatal massage therapist. I'm pretty good at fake smiling and then ranting and raving to my husband! Poor guy!

PointeShoesAndTutus Mon 07-Aug-17 19:37:45

Moan, scream, cry...

In the last 3 days one friend has had her baby and my best friend has announced she's pregnant.

I'm so happy for them both but also feel heartbroken. This is turning me into a horrible person who can't be happy for others.

Sharl2017 Mon 07-Aug-17 19:39:50

forever ahh yes maybe! Mine was just a simple one I believe. Fingers crossed you get a BFP before any others arrive!!

Sharl2017 Mon 07-Aug-17 19:41:06

forever pointe keep fake smiling. I too can feel myself turning bitter inside towards people. flowers

stillvicarinatutu Tue 08-Aug-17 12:25:38

hi ladies. well i just feel the cosmos is having a laugh. i had to have emergency surgery yesterday on my vagina. wtf? i had a bartholins cyst my fertile window is less than 2 weeks away and clearly - there will be no getting down to business this month.
i really do feel god/the cosmos/the world/ is now telling me stop.

Mrsjones17 Tue 08-Aug-17 13:34:04

My new reaction to people asking 'when are you having a baby?' is to ask a really personal question back...'when was the last time you had a good Shag....what did your last poo look like?...etc just to point out how 1) it's none of their business and 2) just how personal that question is. I realise this might be a rude thing to do but I got so sick of just giving a tight smile. If I'm honest it's usually people that are even that close to use or family!! It amazes me sometimes!

Sharl2017 Tue 08-Aug-17 13:47:24

Hahahahha mrsjones that is absolutely brilliant. I definitely wouldn't have the balls but will bear it if in mind for next time I start to lose my cool.

hellybellyjellybean Tue 08-Aug-17 14:47:16

Hope you don't mind me jumping in, ttc#1, on cycle 10 this month and thoroughly downtrodden by it all. I hate these people saying just relax it'll happen when you relax, that's great but I can't relax!! I hate the not planning for just in case and then it doesn't happen, do we bother booking a holiday for next summer as hopefully we will have a LO or at least I'll be pregnant, everything we do revolves around this conversation. Going out and driving means everyone thinks they know you are pg and so you get the knowing looks that are all wrong!!!! I got married last summer and a woman who got married at Christmas is pregnant and I feel irrationally annoyed at her for batting out of order! I don't even feel like I can talk about it with my closest friends here as soon as I mention anything they start talking about infertility and ivf even though we're not quite there it just makes me more upset as what if that's the case?! I'm mid 30s and my dh is 40 this year so worried that it may be years. Rant over I think!!

Betsyboo87 Tue 08-Aug-17 15:48:39

hellybellyjellybean I hate people batting out of order! (totally love that phrase though grin). I have a friend who has committed this faux pas too.

I hate living my life in 4 week blocks. It's driving me crazy!

QuietTime Tue 08-Aug-17 16:44:42

Mainly joining to agree that 'batting out of order' is a brilliant metaphor, hellybelly - and really resonates (also got married last summer)

Living life in cycles is another aspect getting rapidly tedious, betsy

And feel like an absolute fucking chump to have wondered (admittedly briefly) at the start of the year when had just started TTC 'oh maybe we shouldn't book holiday in Sep'. Ha. What a fool.

Anyway - was kind of nice hearing the rants, esp. as I know we're technically not that far along the TTC journey, so don't really talk about how frustrating am starting to find it. Good luck to you all - all my fx for a positive outcome soon!

Sharl2017 Tue 08-Aug-17 17:35:52

This thread keeps cheering me up. I hope it's given others a little giggle too. We all deserve some extra baby dust this month and hopefully we can all return with some happy positive news --that we definitely won't scowl at when we see it on the screen--grin

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