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TTC after ectopic

(38 Posts)
MrsBeeBeeBee Thu 22-Jun-17 13:49:33

Not been on mumsnet for a little while but I'm currently recovering from surgery following an ectopic pregnancy.
Wondered if there was anyone else TTC after ectopic?

Happy for those pregnant or who have a little one after ectopic to come and say hello too x

Flashinthepan Thu 22-Jun-17 14:13:03

So sorry to hear about your ectopic. I had surgery for mine last May and started trying again in January. No luck yet but hopefully it will happen soon.

MrsBeeBeeBee Thu 22-Jun-17 14:59:56

Sorry to hear you're still trying Flash. Hope you're lucky soon.

If you don't mind sharing was there a reason you waited a while inbetween surgery and starting to TTC again?

My doctor said just to wait a period for dating reasons but lots of info online seems to say wait 3 months.

Flashinthepan Thu 22-Jun-17 15:08:30

I was told to wait three months to allow internal healing. But we just couldn't face trying again straight away. I was terrified it would happen again and that I would then potentially be unable to conceive naturally. My DH needed time to process what had happened to me and how worried he was for me.

There doesn't seem to be a potential cause for mine, I don't have any risk factors and all looked healthy internally apparently. In some ways I think that made it worse as I wanted some I could 'fix' to guarantee it wouldn't happen again, and there was nothing.

Things calmed down a lot, and when our December due date came and went we both realised how much we wanted a baby despite the potential obstacles. It still makes me nervous every month that even if I do get a BFP I won't know until an early scan if I can start to get attached to it or not.

Do you want to start again straight away? Do you have other children?

Flashinthepan Thu 22-Jun-17 15:09:02

Sorry that was really long!

MrsBeeBeeBee Thu 22-Jun-17 15:22:18

Don't worry about long, thanks for the answer!
That makes a lot of sense. I also have none of the risk factors which has also made me nervous about future pregnancies so I don't want to rush into TTC if it increases the likelihood of this happening again. I'm now just confused by conflicting info.

I'm very lucky to have 2 children already. We had an easy ride TTC #1 getting pregnant on 5th cycle. Then when we started TTC#2 I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. Then earlier in the year we decided to TTC#3 and obv this resulted in an ectopic.

Still not feeling up to letting the hub anywhere near me so we may end up waiting a few months anyway x

Scandalicity Thu 22-Jun-17 20:47:35

Hi MrsBeeBee, I also suffered an ectopic earlier this year. I was advised by my surgeon to wait 4-6 weeks, which we did, I had a bleed after the surgery, waited for 1 cycle & full AF around 5 weeks after that, and then found out we were pregnant again a couple of weeks ago on 2nd cycle post ectopic.

I think the doctors advice is from a medical stand point, whereas I think the stuff online about waiting 3 months, on the ectopic trust, etc, comes more from an emotional point of view & letting yourself heal mentally, as everyone deals with things differently.

I 100% agree with flash about being nervous about getting a BFP, and being terrified it will happen again, but I didn't feel that anxiety would go away for me if I waited a few months, although can completely understand why people do take a break, I'm currently awaiting a location scan next week to see where this one is.

Hope you are healing well & your TTC journey is a smooth one here on out.

bluechameleon Thu 22-Jun-17 21:03:15

I had an ectopic in autumn 2013. Waited the three months and conceived again that first cycle. He's almost three now. It then took 18m to conceive no.2 but I've just had a 6wk scan and this one is in the right place. Fingers crossed all goes well.

MrsBeeBeeBee Thu 22-Jun-17 22:13:51

Congratulations to you both *Scandalicity and *BlueChamelon. Wish you both happy and healthy pregnancies.
Will keep my fingers crossed for positive news from your location scan *Scandal. I was told I would have a location scan if we get a BFP too. I imagine it's a nerve wracking wait.

Thank you both for telling me your stories. I was starting to get wobbles about listening to my doctor's advice because everything else I read seems to say 3 months. But I think you're right *scandal that it seems to be as much about emotional health. Due to odd symptoms since even before my BFP I didn't really ever believe it was going to be a healthy pregnancy so I think emotionally I'm doing ok.

Flashinthepan Thu 22-Jun-17 22:58:25

Can I ask what odd symptoms you had before you BFP mrs? I had a weird cycle the month of my ectopic but can't work out what might have been related or just coincidence.

Kittymum03 Thu 22-Jun-17 23:12:23

Hi MrsBee I had an ectopic in July 2014. Waited 2 months to try again (I honestly can't remember how long I was told to wait, I just didn't want him near me before then..) then it took 1 year, 6 months of trying before it happened again. Honestly though, it felt like about 6 years!
The 6 week scan got off to a bad start, as they told me 'If you fall pg again, ring us immediately to arrange a scan' So I'm ringing at 4 wks thinking we will get a scan right away, they they say 'wait until 6 weeks' I was a nervous wreck in the waiting room. I was crying and saying 'I hate this place!' (Sad memories of the surgery) when I had the scan and they confirmed it was in the right place I kept saying 'Are you sure?!' And 'There's definately nothing in the tube?!'

Flash I had a whole month of light bleeding on and off the month before, thought it was a weird period. No pain, just the bleeding. Turns out I was already 8/9 when i had the surgery. I thought I was only 4.

Kittymum03 Thu 22-Jun-17 23:13:09

Sorry didn't realise how long that was grin blush

Flashinthepan Thu 22-Jun-17 23:24:50

Same as me, I bled from what was probably ovulation until final,y taking a test at what turned out to be 6 weeks, had what thought was a period too. I only tested because the sore boobs didn't go away. I paid for the privilege of a private scan only to be told it was ectopic. Worst 90 pounds I ever spent! But might have saved my life too given I was 8 weeks by then.

Also, sorry it took you so long to conceive again but I find it really reassuring, I'm on month 6, cycle god knows what and I'm terrified it's never going to happen!

Kittymum03 Fri 23-Jun-17 02:16:36

We had pretty much decided it was never going to happen when we got our happy surprise, so hang in there. I know the wait is torture!

I phoned the drs about the bleeding after taking a test. Thought i was only 4 weeks then. Funny thing was he said it 'Sounded like an ectopic' right away. And i was thinking 'No, its not that, im not in pain!' They refured me to EPU for a scan, on the phone, they said to me 'It's probably a miscarriage. Give it a couple of weeks as you are still so early, then come in for a scan and we will see what is left' sad heartbreaking, using those words. I did complain about the choice of words and how everybody was happy to diagnose me over the phone without seing me, but got told basically that they can't see everybody right away as you can't see anything with an early scan anyway, and they'd rather be a bit more miserable about it, than get womens hopes up!

meadowlark3 Fri 23-Jun-17 07:02:41

I'm also trying. We have no children. Been TTC for over one year, had one miscarriage and beginning infertility investigations when I fell with the ectopic. The tube where I had the ectopic had some sort of blockage but it's gone now. Not sure how our chances will be so likely to start infertility treatments. Quite nervous about another ectopic and IVF but certainly longing for a baby.

Flash, how long have you been trying in total?

Badgertastic Fri 23-Jun-17 07:29:16

Hi Flash. I remember you from my thread earlier in the year.
I had an ectopic in February and was treated with two doses of methotrexate. We were told to wait 3-6 months because of the drug.
I'm also feeling nervous about TTC again but starting to think about it which is a step forward. Fingers crossed for you all.

Flashinthepan Fri 23-Jun-17 08:41:30

Meadow I fell pregnant first time last year. The started again in January, so about 7 months in total. I had really short cycles earlier in the year, about 21 days, so I think I'm on cycle 10/11. My cycle has never gone back to normal though after my ectopic. I now have bleeding from 1/2 days after ovulation until my next AF. I've been scanned by a gynae, checked for infection, and I temp so I know my progesterone is ok. Noone knows the cause and all the doctors have said it won't affect fertility, but I don't really believe them.

Hi Badger. Glad to hear you feel you're making progress. I hope when you feel ready again it goes smoothly.

Kittymum03 Fri 23-Jun-17 09:34:57

Flash My cycle was never back to 'normal' after my ectopic either. Period used to be on the dot of 4 weekly. Since the ectopic it was 4/5/6/7 days early, so all over the place and a really short cycle. I usually didn't feel like dtd for a few days after my period, but the month I conceived I did right afterwards, don't know of that means anything or just coincidence!

When I had my surgery they said it took my fertility down to 60%.

Sending flowers and luck to everybody.

Flashinthepan Fri 23-Jun-17 09:55:21

That's reassuring Kitty there seems to be so little information out there. This month we DTD the day after my period, then missed a day, then every day for 5 days leading up to ovulation and the day of ovulation. God knows if it will work but I can only try! I kind of assume I'm out every cycle where the spotting starts after OV, which it just has, at 2 dpo.

Yes I was told about 70 per cent as there's a 20 per cent chance the other tube can "catch" the egg from the other ovary.

MrsBeeBeeBee Fri 23-Jun-17 13:24:29

The circumstances surrounding my BFP were all very odd.

I tested the morning AF was due (11dpo as I have a shorter than average LP) and got a BFN. Spotting started that afternoon and AF the next day. I had what I thought was a normal period (although I do remember thinking it did go on a day or so longer than normal).
On CD9 I started OPKs and got a really strong positive which was unexpected as the previous two months of OPKs I hadn't got a positive until day 15 and day 17. I got another strong positive the following day and some brown spotting. On day 3 of positive opk I also took a pregnancy test expecting it to be negative. But it was positive. I called the epau for advice as it was such an odd situation and they recommended blood tests. I had a series of blood tests plus two scans before being admitted into hospital 9 days after that first BFP. I was in no pain but was bleeding a little.
I had a laparoscopy to investigate as nothing was showing up on scans but my HCG was still rising (but not doubling).

Kittymum03 Fri 23-Jun-17 13:40:56

Flash I find a lot of the information is directed at Miscarriage, with a kind of 'oh, and ectopic' added on as an afterthought.

MrsBee I had my blood tests after my scan, then had an agonising 3 hour wait while they waited for the results, as they could tell my uterus was empty, but couldnt tell if it was ectopic until they had the blood test ressults. We walked round Sainsburys in a daze, hoping against hope that they had got it wrong. I answered the phone in Sainsburys to 'You need to head right back in for surgery' it was so surreal.

How are you feeling pain wise? My pain was ok. I remember saying to everybody 'My C.Section (for my first baby) hurt worse.' Emotionally I wasn't ok.

MrsBeeBeeBee Fri 23-Jun-17 13:52:31

Sorry to hear about your experience Kitty and that it took you a while to conceive after your ectopic.

Sorry to hear you've been trying for a while Meadow. Must be so heartbreaking. Really hope for some good news soon and good luck of you do think about IVF.

MrsBeeBeeBee Fri 23-Jun-17 13:57:22

Surreal is definitely a word I'd use about it all too.
I went to epau for a scan, they sat me in a room after whilst the midwife phoned the consultant to check his opinion on results and then she came back in room and told me he was admitting me and I couldn't even go home to get any things!

I'm doing ok. A week today post surgery. I'm getting a bit itchy which I think is a good thing as that normally means healing.
I have a lot of respect for csection mummies! Can't believe they can do the whole new mum thing with recovery far worse than this!

Kittymum03 Fri 23-Jun-17 14:16:56

You didnt have the random wandering around-not knowing what to do with yourself bit then! After the scan, I was getting dressed, holding it together, when she turned the screen off and said 'I'm so sorry love' and it just seemed so final. I started sobbing, and my partner was trying (and failing!) To help me get my tights on. We got sat in 'The room' with a box of tissues, then I sobbed through the blood tests, then I was sent away! I didn't actually pack a bag anyway. I couldn't face going home and packing for that so partner got my things later.

I'm glad your doing ok. Do you have support around you? Somebody to talk to?

Stee1 Fri 23-Jun-17 15:54:13

I'm going through an ectopic as I type I opted for the injection, I had to have a 2nd dose as first wasn't bringing the hcg down much.. has anyone conceived after the methotrexate if so how long after did you wait before ttc again?

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