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Too late but can't give up

(6 Posts)
cheasypeasy Tue 16-May-17 16:10:10

I'm 44 in a few weeks and still TTC.

I'm looking for some hope, good news stories, if any one knows of anyone who has got their BFP naturally at 44, with a good outcome?

I can't give up. I had a MMC at 43 (at 6 weeks) after TTC for 8 years. Unexplained infertility, had all the tests, not eligible for further NHS treatment and financially, we couldn't afford to pursue IVF.

6 months on, I'm back to obsessing, counting days, OPKs, Ovia, supplements and all the heartbreak that goes along with AF arriving every month.

I'm worried that if we keep trying, we are causing ourselves more heartbreak, but what if? We never expected to get pregnant after so long, yet out of the blue it happened and I can't let go of that.

So, I'm trying to remain positive. I have a regular cycle, regular ovulation, it's just down to luck and we need lots of it. I said 44 was my cut off point... but that deadline is looming and I just can't quit.

juneau Tue 16-May-17 16:12:49

Well there is no reason why you should quit if you don't want to and while there is still a chance. Women do sometimes get pregnant at 44+, but I think you need to be realistic about your chances and start trying to make peace with your life as it is. If you're struggling with that as a concept I'd advise finding a therapist you can talk things through with - someone neutral who doesn't know you, etc. There is no harm in being hopeful, as long as it is grounded in realism. Good luck.

MissJC Tue 16-May-17 16:17:06

My DAunt got pregnant at 44 with endometriosis and POS so of course there is hope. She paid for 3 rounds of IVF in the Nov, used one cycle which failed then conceived naturally. My DCus is 6 months old now and we still can't believe she is here after all the years of trying but it just goes to show that anything can happen! Good luck flowersflowers

sodabreadjam Tue 16-May-17 16:17:44

My cousin had her first and only DS at age 46.

She didn't marry her DH till late on - he had a grown-up family already.

Don't know if her medical circumstances were anything like yours but just wanted to let you know it is possible.

Good luck cheasypeasy - I hope you get pregnant soon.

cheasypeasy Wed 17-May-17 10:23:43

thank you for your replies flowers

An ex work colleague got her BFP at 45 after believing she was infertile. She didn't believe it herself until she had her 20 week scan and her DS is now 3. It gives me hope every day, but I'm aware that it's very rare and I do need to be realistic.

What's the alternative? Go back on birth control? I couldn't do that, but I'm so scared of having our hopes raised and the higher chance of suffering more heartbreak.

I will chat to my GP the next time I see her regarding counselling as I think I'm going to hit rock bottom once I'm 44.

Hadenoughtoday01 Thu 18-May-17 08:17:41

I have several friends who have had babies in the mid 40s. SIL - has an 8 week old - she's just turned 44. One of my best friends from uni - had a baby two years ago, also 44 and was nearly 45 when she gave birth. Another friend had IVF and had a baby at 42 then another at 45.
when I had DD1 one of my fellow preggars ladies was 45 nearly 46.

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