Am I being selfish/irresponsible?

[Flumplet]

I'm 21.5st and desperate for another baby. I had hoped we would have had another one before now. Ds1 is almost 6. Everyone around us is having babies and although I'm happy for them it's breaking my heart a little bit that it's not us. I've tried losing weight but i struggle and it always goes back on. I'm otherwise healthy - good blood pressure, no diabetes, and have started being careful with what I eat, don't drink, smoke or take drugs, and I have started swimming a couple days a week, but would it be terribly selfish or irresponsible for me to get pregnant this overweight? I was already overweight when I had my ds and had a fairly uneventful pregnancy under consultant led care - although I ended up being induced (unsuccessfully) because he was measuring large for dates - he was 10lb.

[Flumplet]

Bump

[CordeliaFitzgerald]

Can you discuss this with your GP? You're not selfish, but you need to be sure you understand exactly what the risks are, both to you and the potential baby. It's great that you've started taking steps to lose weight, and your GP can maybe also help you with that if you decide to try to lose weight for a bit longer before becoming pregnant.
Have a look at the weight loss threads on here as well for some support and motivation. Good luck!

[PollytheDolly]

Sounds like you're doing all the right things OP.

[Flumplet]

We are going to go for it. I know there are increased risks, but there are risks with every pregnancy. I reckon I can do it 🤰 and I'm only getting stronger and fitter from here. I guess I'm just worried about being judged, but it's nobody else's business but ours. Fingers x'd for a tiny baby Flump then!!

[PollytheDolly]

Good luck Flump

[angryladyboobs]

I'm in the same position.

Trying and failing to loose weight x

[Shredtheevidence]

I have been there. Unfortunately it does feel like you are being judged sometimes (mainly by health care professionals) but steel yourself and if you have, to remind them you are a person not just your bmi. I found just being honest and talking about it openly made it easier.

I once had a registrar almost whisper 'now your bmi is a bit higher than we would like' and I laughed and said 'by a bit high you mean I'm morbidly obese' and it got rid of the elephant in the room, pun intended.

[Flumplet]

Yes I think that's a good idea - just get it out there and over and done with. Fingers x'd for a BFP post in the next few months

[Shredtheevidence]

Good luck flump. I am ttc #2, hopefully we will soon be on the pregnancy boards soon moaning about fat pregnancies!!

[Flumplet]

Indeed! Good luck to you too - I'm going to start stocking up on leggings!