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Getting Ready For Baby Challenge - Part 9

(656 Posts)
HopefullyDothButterNoParsnips Sat 13-May-17 12:48:17

Through the ups and downs of this amazing journey - we are all here together. I'm grateful for you all ❤️❤️

Tigger83 Sat 13-May-17 12:50:40

Hi parsnips! Thanks for setting up the thread xxx

TheGrumpySquirrel Sat 13-May-17 12:51:56

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confusedat23 Sat 13-May-17 13:10:55

Thanks for the new thread Parsnips

HbH Sat 13-May-17 13:13:11

Grumpy Completely devastated for you... such a shock... so sorry you're going through this, especially on your own in another country. Really hope the afternoon goes quick & you're back with DH & DD before you know itflowers

orangefolly Sat 13-May-17 13:14:48

Thanks Parsnips

TheGrumpySquirrel Sat 13-May-17 13:20:49

DD is at her dad's but coming home early, DH told her dad what happened but we are going to tell her ourselves. She will be home at 6pm. She's going to be so sad.

I land at 4:15, just waiting to board the plane now. I've started getting some backache, I expect that's the cramping about to start. Just need to get through the flight. Have got diazepam.

NaturWilde Sat 13-May-17 13:24:03

Thinking of you on that flight Grumpy. You can do this.

TheGrumpySquirrel Sat 13-May-17 13:27:07

I can't believe it died almost two weeks ago and I had no idea

Seven0fNine Sat 13-May-17 13:30:26

Oh no Grumpy I'm so so sorry my lovely xxxx

DancingUnicorn Sat 13-May-17 13:33:17

It's so devastating grumpy. I always assumed I would know. I hope you have a safe flight and dh is waiting to meet you at the other end.

Thanks so much for the new thread parsnips. Hope you are doing ok.

Sending love to all. ❤️

JB1983 Sat 13-May-17 13:43:22

Safe flight home grumpy, will be thinking of you. flowers

Thanks for new thread paranips.

otters2017 Sat 13-May-17 14:27:32

Thanks for the new thread parsnips

Oh grumpy I'm so so so sorry. I know words can't describe anything right now. It's utterly shit and I'm thinking of you and DH ❤ flowers
Hope the flight isn't too bad. As everyone else has said we are here if you need us xxx

HopefullyDothButterNoParsnips Sat 13-May-17 15:16:24

Oh grumpy love. Words just aren't going to cut it right now. I am just devastated for you. Nothing can prepare you for the loss of something so badly wanted. Life can be an absolute bastard sometimes. You will get through it though. You're stronger than you think. I hope it goes ok when you break the news to DD. We'll all be here.

And don't knock yourself for buying mat clothes and baby clothes and thinking ahead. I had literally just sat down with a 2018 calendar and planned my mat leave then went to the loo. No one expects this to happen. We allow ourselves to get excited and plan and then it's snatched away. It hurts like hell. I'm so very sorry this has happened to you. Thinking of you and DH.

Mummyme87 Sat 13-May-17 15:20:53

Hope the flight goes over quickly for you grumpy and you're not in too much discomfort x

HopefullyDothButterNoParsnips Sat 13-May-17 15:22:41

I am doing ok today. I had a really good sleep last night which really helped. Telling parents was not fun. In their desperate Irish need to fill any silences they kept saying the wrong thing - it wasn't the right time, you can have another one, Mother Nature knows best etc, oh well you have your holiday to look forward to!

we told my auntie and I felt she really minimized it all in particular. She was a bit like oh well you shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch. I just said if you don't know what to say it's fine to just say sorry and leave it there. Didn't have the fight to have a whole debate about it.

I'd never appreciated how insensitive people can be when they don't know what to say. Sometimes silence is all that's needed. ❤️❤️❤️

DancingUnicorn Sat 13-May-17 15:34:44

I'm sorry people didn't know the right thing to say parsnips. I told most people by text (as they already knew I was pregnant) so at least they can think through their responses. It's horrible to hear insensitive responses when it's already so painful. Glad you managed to get a good night's sleep.

I hope the flight is bearable grumpy.

HopefullyDothButterNoParsnips Sat 13-May-17 15:44:29

I don't think they meant anything by it dancing. They were just desperately trying to perk me up and getting it all wrong. I've probably been guilty of similar in the past. Made me appreciate the value of just shutting up. There is no right thing to say is there. How are you doing these days love?

Seven0fNine Sat 13-May-17 15:59:03

Aww parsnips sounds like the last thing you needed xx hope you are OK xx
thanks for the new thread.

My best friend lost her baby at 20 weeks last year and I still don't have the right words to say to her, we just hug and drink wine instead and she talks about it when she can.

Alot bit hungover today.. Got to go to FIL's for dinner. Other than that I am being lazy today napping on the couch again and craving sugar 😂

Hope you get home ok Grumpy xxx

TheGrumpySquirrel Sat 13-May-17 16:05:44

Landed safe not much battery left.
No further bleeding yet. Trying to be accepting and positive for the future.

Parsnips I'm so sorry the family minimised it. They think they are trying to help but it's like it's not acknowledged. Hugs to you x

DancingUnicorn Sat 13-May-17 16:18:27

Glad you're safely back on solid ground grumpy. Hopefully you can find moments of being positive about the future. It's ok if it's not constant though. Hope it goes ok with your dd.

No, parsnips I'm sure they didn't mean it badly. There isn't a right thing to say. The right thing today might be the wrong thing tomorrow. I'm doing ok thanks. Good moments mixed in with the bad now, which is a welcome relief.

Seven you sound like a pretty awesome friend. Hugs and being there (and wine) is so underrated. Hope the hangover eases before dinner for you!!

Mummyme87 Sat 13-May-17 16:27:08

parsnips sorry your family were so insensitive x

People always want to fill silences, when actually there is nothing that can be said to make it better. Silence is a wonderful thing sometimes. We have this at work when women lose babies during pregnancy, or have to end their pregnancies for various reasons... midwives get so hung up on what to say, saying the right thing. A 'sorry you are going through this' is normally enough, usually with some hugs as well.

grumpy I'm glad you are back safely x

HopefullyDothButterNoParsnips Sat 13-May-17 17:16:33

So true mummy.

Glad you've landed safe grumpy. Be kind to yourself. Focusing on the future and trying to be positive is all you can do really but it's OK to take a moment (or several) to grieve. I'll be thinking of you.

God what a few days it's been girls.

Penguin27 Sat 13-May-17 17:47:49

Glad you're back safely grumpy. Take care of yourself flowers

Sorry that your family were a little insensitive parsnips flowers

TheGrumpySquirrel Sat 13-May-17 18:50:39

DD cried a bit but hasn't said much. I'm still getting my head around that I'm not going to have my baby in December. Backache worsening, the sooner this comes out the better.

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