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Ttc after miscarriage

(8 Posts)
MistyBxx Wed 19-Apr-17 00:13:38

Hi all,
I've recently miscarried my first ever pregnancy. It was really sad and I lost it before it had even truly began (sac was empty at 7 weeks and by 9 weeks I passed everything naturally). I've been for a scan today which confirmed I'm "all clear" in there and there's no sign of infection or anything, but gynaecologist told me to wait for my next period before ttc again. She even said if I must have sex before this, to use condoms and was forceful in the fact that I can't ttc until after this first period, but couldn't really give me a reason why, she was just adamant that I can't. Mentally, I've had a few weeks to come to terms with what's happened and I do feel I've accepted the situation and would like to try again soon, although I wasn't actively intending to immediately, I understand my cycle is likely to be all over the place now, but don't really want to use condoms if I want to have sex in the next couple of weeks or however long it will take for my next period to arrive... but now I'm scared if by any freak chance I did catch straight away before this period, does anyone know why I was so explicitly warned against it?? She said having 1 mc doesn't increase the chances of having another, so I'm just a bit concerned as I've also read that you can be extra fertile after a mc so I'm really confused. Any advice or experiences welcome xxx

AutumnEve Wed 19-Apr-17 00:28:01

I'm very sorry to hear of your experience. I'm afraid I don't have any advice but I didn't want to read and run flowers

MistyBxx Wed 19-Apr-17 00:51:24

Oh thanks autumneve 💜 it has been a crap month to be honest, I'm still off work for a few more weeks and have rested loads but I loved being pregnant (for the short time that I was) that excited feeling when I saw my first ever bfp was such a lovely moment, I will never forget it. Or my due date, which was going to be 3 days after my own birthday in November. It's so much more than just a line on a test, my whole life changed in that instant. But I understand these things happen, I don't blame myself or anyone or anything else. It's life. But very much looking forward to trying again. Just scared of catching early now after what she said... although took me 6 months the first time, I'm just wary of why she was so insistent on why I should not catch before my first period 😳 thanks for the reply though chick xx

ForeverHopeful21 Wed 19-Apr-17 08:35:15

I had a MC last month - 1st pregnancy too. I'm really sorry you're going through this flowers .
Sometimes there is a reason that you shouldn't try again straight away (infections, cysts etc), but if she gave you the all clear and never gave a reason why you shouldn't TTC then I think you should do what feels right for you. They usually say to wait until after your 1st period so that they have a better chance of being able to date the pregnancy - it just makes it easier for them that's all.
Some lucky ladies become pregnant straight away after a MC, so it's obvious that not everyone listens to the advice of the doctors.

thisismadness77 Wed 19-Apr-17 08:39:03

Usually just so they can easily date the subsequent pregnancy is all.

SingCat Wed 19-Apr-17 08:41:05

I was told the same by my dr initially - when I pushed for a reason in the end she said it was a) to make dating a future pregnancy easier and b) to allow time for emotional recovery. We decided the best way to recover emotionally was to start TTC again as quickly as possible, which we did. In the end, I did have one period exactly 4 weeks after my MC and then was fortunate enough to fall pregnant again the next month - am now 19 weeks. Best of luck to you. x

SpareASquare Wed 19-Apr-17 08:43:05

Really sorry you are going through this sad

I've had many m/c's and have never been told to wait. It would have been helpful of the dr to tell you WHY you should wait. Whenever I've seen this question come up, it's always been explained as being related to dating the pregnancy. In the absence of any other issue, of course.

Many, many a pregnancy is a result of TTC straight after a m/c. Is there anyone, medically, you can ask?

MistyBxx Wed 19-Apr-17 10:18:17

I have actually got a nurse friend who has recently had a mc herself. I hadn't thought of asking her, thanks spareasquare good idea.
And thanks for all your kind words. I totally understand how some people may need more time emotionally to recover and I have been very upset over the last month but the last couple of weeks I've been a lot better, more positive and looking to the future.
Sorry you've been through this also girlies, it's amazing how many of us have. Doesn't make our own individual losses any less though 🌹
Thanks again, I'm going to speak to my friend and post what she says on here xx

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