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i need to try and make some peace with it all if it doesnt happen - tips?

(7 Posts)
AprilSkies44 Tue 18-Apr-17 16:18:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsCharlieD Wed 19-Apr-17 08:50:46

That sounds incredibly hard. I think in your position I would delete the app, throw away the opk's and just see if nature will take its course. Unfortunately at 45 time is not on your side and the quality of your eggs could be affected. But people do get pregnant naturally and go on to have healthy babies. It's just life's great lottery isn't it. You have children already which is such a blessing. If they are adults then grandchildren may not be too far in the future also, I secretly think my mum loves her grandchildren more than us 😉.

I hope you can come to make peace with whatever you decide and who knows, you still could conceive naturally. I wish you luck x

MrsBobDylan Wed 19-Apr-17 09:02:32

I set a time limit to the number of months I was prepared to try for (6) and decided that if I did get pregnant in that time, if it ended in a loss again, I would stop.

It's crazy how it takes over your world isn't it? And in our 40s it just feels like although the odds are stacked against us, there is always that chance which keeps us hoping (and trying).

Maybe you could do another 6 months then agree with yourself to let it go? Think about doing a trip you wouldn't have been able to, or taking up a hobby that again, a baby would have stopped you from doing. And if you do decide to walk away from trying, get rid of the apps etc. I lost my phone and all my TTC data and it was actually a relief!

Good luck with whatever you choose, it's not easy.flowers

Chattycat78 Wed 19-Apr-17 09:23:29

I would definitely stop tracking every month- you're torturing yourself!

Start thinking of the positives of things you can't do with a baby in tow too (exotic holidays!) and you are right that you're very lucky to have kids already. Some people reach your age and couldn't have children at all.

It's not impossible that you could get pregnant again for sure, but I would try to be realistic if you can and not actively ttc. Easier said than done I know.

AprilSkies44 Wed 19-Apr-17 16:18:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1471471849 Wed 19-Apr-17 17:46:06

Hi April, I feel the same as you. I feel I need to have a plan b on what if it doesnt work and move on. I'm giving it another 4 months and then moving on. That's the plan anyway but who knows how I'll feel. I have 2 kids already but would love a third, but I'm 41 so it's not a given.

I was thinking maybe my husband and I and the kids should do stuff that would be hard to do with a baby, like hiking up a few mountains or doing something drastic like buying a camper van and going surfing in Eastern Europe. its very hard to contemplate moving on but at some stage I may have to and don't want to live in a permanent waiting mode.

Hope you find some peace with it all. Would counselling help? Re fertile time, I was told by my consultant every second day is fine. Couldn't manage much more anyway! I was temp tracking but stopped it all as it was white noise anyway, temps all over the place so now I just mark in period details.

AprilSkies44 Wed 19-Apr-17 21:59:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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