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TTC after an ectopic and TWW

(13 Posts)
FrostyPopThePenguinLord Mon 27-Mar-17 00:55:25

We started trying for a baby in late December and to my husbands immense satisfaction he got me preggo first go, sadly I had some awful cramping about 5 weeks in and found out it was ectopic and that was that.
We think I might be pregnant this month....I'm still in the TWW (AF due on the 4th of April)but it feels like it did last time, everyone says you can't get symptoms so early but I've broken out, my boobs are uncomfortable and I'm freaking the hell out every time my tummy hurts.
I'm seriously losing sleep over this, every little twinge or tummy ache, then the thought is 'normal implantation cramps or tube destroying ectopic agony cramps like last time' I'm tired, stressed and driving my husband insane.....all of which is making me more stressed because I know stress is bad for you!!!
Half the time I'm freaking about if spotting should happen is that bad or good , then I'm freaking out that I've had no spotting does that mean it's stuck in a tube again!! ( no spotting with my ectopic)
I've even bought cheap tests to pee on even though I know it's too early because I think I just need to pee on something!!! Just to break the tension!! I JUST WANT TO PEE ON SOMETHING!!!!
Top Tip: Don't ever say that you are desperate to pee on something to relive stress during a Mother's Day brunch (seriously I was crying) especially with your grandmother present....they think I have some weird kinks now....
So now I'm on a message board at 1am because I have a tiny tummy ache that won't let me sleep because my mind is already deciding it's glued to a Fallopian tube....it nearly destroyed me last time I don't know how women go on after multiple miscarriage or ectopics. I thought I was a strong practical person before this happened, I was so so wrong, im a wreck.
I don't really even have specific question, I just need to unload and I can't on my poor, tired, stressed, sleeping husband who has been so amazing but you can tell is sick of me wailing about it and performing 'stud' services on demand....
Just as an FYI, I am seeing a doctor about this, I'm aware I needed to talk to someone, it's just NHS takes ages and I'm not high risk. My GP is lovely and being very patient with me because I don't want to take anything that makes me sleep (diazepam she says it's ok at this stage) because I might be pregnant and my brain won't allow any risks, I couldn't even make myself take a paracetamol yesterday for a stress/tiredness headache, I tried and I nearly threw up.
Now I want to go pee on a stick again....

FrostyPopThePenguinLord Tue 28-Mar-17 01:22:04

I'm still bloody awake, Whhhyyyyy!

sarahmags Tue 28-Mar-17 09:47:00

Oh frosty you really are going through it. I had an early miscarriage in May 16 followed by an ectopic in December 16 which was at approx 10 weeks. I am also now in the dreaded TWW and can sympathise with you. I also asked the same question right after my ectopic, how do people keep going after each disappointment, but I guess the desire for a child / another child is great enough to outweigh the devastation.

Not sure any of what I've said will help, but at least hopefully you'll feel like you're not alone. I think talking to someone about how you feel is a good idea, particularly as you are so anxious and not sleeping.

Wishing lots of luck flowers

cottoncandee Mon 03-Apr-17 10:15:08

Oh sweetie, I know how it feels like. I TTC since mid 2015 and had mc in August 2015 and chemical pregnancy last November. Before my positive test I had light pinkish spotting then on and off cramps then not long after I tested I had my bleeding. Last night I had light pinkish spotting when I wiped and (maybe it's just in my head, don't know anymore) light on and off cramping/pressure in tummy. I freaked out and couldn't sleep but didn't want to wake my husband up. I know this must be hard for you as well but hope this month is gonna be a good month for us smile

goldielocks29 Mon 03-Apr-17 11:09:33

Oh Frosty how are you?

I feel much the same, had an ectopic at the end of Jan, (expectant management, no medical intervention) and I'm in the TWW now at 10dpo.

I'm getting cramps and twinges in the same side as my ectopic at the mo, so while I'm praying I get a BFP this week I'm also scaring myself sh*tless that it's another ectopic.

Let's hope these ones stick in the right place! Xxxx

FrostyPopThePenguinLord Mon 03-Apr-17 11:52:21

AF came the day after i posted this so i guess it was early period pains, everything's out of whack after the ectopic I'm so scared i won't get pregnant again.

RedSandYellowSand Mon 03-Apr-17 12:15:19

Sorry to hear what you are going through, Frosty.
I still remember that 2ww. Fortunately DS1 is rapidly approaching his 8th birthday. And his little brother is a couple of years behind.
Complication free pregnancies post ectopic (and in my case tube removal) is more common than complications.
But those waits when you know or suspect you are pregnant, but can't do anything other than wait to see where it is located, Ian happy never to have to do that again.
Good luck with your journey. flowers

Flashinthepan Mon 03-Apr-17 13:52:29

Sorry for you Frosty. It is such a difficult process. I had ectopic last May and tube removed, also having got pregnant straight away.

We didn't start trying again until January and the first few cycles were stressful but feel more relaxed now a few months in, although haven't got lucky yet! My cycles were totally messed up and only went back to normal after I started taking a B50 mega complex 2 months ago. The docs were not interested in helping me but I had spotting from ovulation through to next AF, plus short cycles, short periods and short LP. Might be worth looking into if your cycles are doing crazy things.

sarahmags Mon 03-Apr-17 20:07:36

Sorry to hear AF arrived Frosty, mine also arrived over the weekend. I was convinced this was my month, but it was obviously not meant to be.

No advice with regards to whether it can happen after your ectopic, I go through periods of feeling positive and thinking it's bound to happen, to thinking about the statistics I was given after my surgery about a 50% success rate, 20% chance of another ectopic and then I don't feel quite so confident.

Sorry to put a downer on the thread, or to quote figures that may be different to those you ladies have heard, these were quotes to me by my NHS so no medical knowledge of mine behind them.

Let's keep our fingers crossed for late April / May BFP's smile

Flashinthepan Tue 04-Apr-17 08:06:24

Sarah as regards the statistics, unless they pinpointed a reason for your ectopic, the statistics from the ectopic pregnancy trust are that with one tube you have around a 70 per cent chance each month, as a fallopian tube can catch eggs from both ovaries. And if you have had one ectopic, your next pregnancy has a 10 per cent chance of being ectopic so 90 per cent that it won't be and after one healthy pregnancy your risk reduces to the same as everyone else. Overall around 65 per cent of women will be healthily pregnant within 18 months, rising to around 85 per cent after 2 years. I know these can still sound scary but the odds are better than the information you were given. Sadly so many health professionals are under informed about ectopic pregnancy. FX for you.

RedDahlia Tue 04-Apr-17 08:26:14

Do you have a EPU local to you? I know AF has arrived (bastard) but as soon as you get a positive (and there is no reason why you shouldn't!!) get your arse down to your EPU and get your bloods done.

I had an ectopic in November 15 and conceived March 16, my EPU were great, did my bloods every 2 days for a week or so and scanned me at 5 and a half weeks and confirmed everything was where it should be.

Not sure if you are aware but your HCG levels don't increase like a normal pregnancy with an ectopic so they can usually pick up something is not right before you are scanned. When I had a positive test with the ectopic I went to my EPU as I was under then for prior miscarriages and they took my bloods and I was scanned on a Tuesday because of poorly increasing HCG and was told they couldn't see anything so it was classed as a pregnancy of unknown location. My bloods continued to increase but poorly, and when they rescanned me on Friday and found the pregnancy in my right tube as upsetting as it was I knew something wasn't right because of the bloods and it made it a lot easier to cope with that rather that having no clue it was about to happen. As you have had one ectopic they will look after you really well. My last pregnancy (March 16) was successful and DD is now nearly 5 months so anything is possible!! Keep the faith and good luck.

sarahmags Wed 05-Apr-17 06:13:40

Thanks flash, those statistics are certainly more encouraging then the info I was given.

Red congratulations on your successful pregnancy and subsequent DC. The EPU did say that as soon as I get a BFP to get myself referred to them as I'll be scanned early so that is at least come comfort. It was only when I started bleeding lightly at 9+4 that I knew something was wrong. It was the day after my booking in appointment which felt extra cruel.

Op hope you're doing ok, I think our cycles are pretty close so we can be TWW buddies again in a few days!

RedDahlia Wed 05-Apr-17 10:12:59

Thanks sarah everything crossed for you and the OP that this is your month!!

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