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2 miscarriages - TTC baby no.2

(6 Posts)
user1490261811 Fri 24-Mar-17 14:21:15

Hi, I've been told to move my thread to this board, so here goes...

I'm sorry if this is the wrong board (again) and apologies in advance for the length of this - my head is all over the place.

I have a 3 year old daughter and want so much to give her a sibling. I struggled to conceive my daughter and took 18 months to get pregnant for the second time. Unfortunately that pregnancy and a subsequent pregnancy 6 months later, ended in miscarriage. My first miscarriage was natural, but i opted for surgical management with the second as I found my first miscarriage so traumatic.

It has been 12 weeks since my surgery and I still haven't had a proper period. I get the odd day of spotting around the time my period would be due, but it is only on wiping. I don't even need to wear a pad. My periods were always heavy. The colour seems to vary between pink/bright red/dark red/brown.

I have been googling and have convinced myself that I have Ashermans syndrome and/or a hormonal imbalance as I am also breaking out in spots everywhere, even my stomach - I almost never got spots before. I have an appointment with my GP next week, but I know they will say that my body is still recovering.

I'm so worried that I wont be able to have another baby and I also obsess about the age gap. Although there are 5 years between my sister and I and we have always been close, but i'm not very rational just now.

This is coinciding with my daughter starting nursery and I feel like she doesn't need me as much anymore and it feels like everyone around me are announcing their pregnancies.

I don't really know if I'm looking for advice or just for someone to tell me that they know how I feel. I just feel really sad and bitter all the time. Everything just feels a bit hopeless. I feel like this is consuming me and I'm missing out on the wonderful child that I do have.

WelshMammy123 Fri 24-Mar-17 16:08:09

Hi,

Firstly I'm so so sorry for your losses. I'm not in exactly the same boat re periods but I did experienced two losses last year. The first was a MMC at 10 weeks and I had surgical management. The second was a tfmr as our daughter was found to have a lethal skeletal dysplasia. I delivered her at 16 weeks.

Like you I'm lucky and already have a dd (she's 2) but it took us over 3 years to conceive her.

I'm totally losing faith in my body. It seems so cruel that I can experience both infertility and then recurrent loss. We fell pregnant quickly both times last year but we're in to cycle 5 this time and nothing has happened.

I can't help on the period side of things other than to say I think you're doing the right thing seeing your gp. Perhaps they can do some tests to check hormones etc. Have you had a scan or anything since the surgical management? I have no idea if it would present like you've described but I wonder if there could there be something left behind following the surgery that's affecting your cycle. Definitely worth speaking to the gp xx

lookatthemoon Fri 24-Mar-17 20:47:00

Hi user,

Sorry to hear about your losses! I have had a similar experience, 2 early losses after DS (2 yrs) After the losses I find myself constantly berating myself for not starting to try sooner to give him a sibling. What I have come to realise though is that the emotional toll of m/c can sometimes be worse than the physical and you do find yourself in grief and having thoughts about never being able to have another (that's me anyway). Try and be positive, you have already had one baby, even with 2 miscarriages you are still statistically really likely to have another. So just be kind to yourself, let your body do what it needs to - and be hopeful! And go see your GP about your period! Good luck!

user1490261811 Fri 24-Mar-17 23:35:08

Thank you both for your messages and I'm really sorry for your losses. Several people have said to me how lucky I am to have my daughter - I know I am and I am so grateful to have her, but it doesn't lessen my yearning for a second child. Our bodies can be so cruel, but hopefully we will all get there in the end. It is comforting to know I'm not alone, although I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Like you lookatthemoon, I'm constantly thinking about not being able to have another child and what life will be like for my daughter growing up as an only child.

m33r Sat 25-Mar-17 07:56:54

Sorry for everyone's losses. It took us 20 months to conceive my DS so we tried right away to conceive again (BF for first six months though). Had an MC, a CP then another MC. I am now 21 weeks with my second little boy. Hang in there ladies. So so sorry again for everyone's loss flowers

user1490261811 Sat 25-Mar-17 16:17:04

Hearing stories like yours gives me hope m33r, although I'm sorry for what you've been through before getting here! xxx

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