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12 months on, another year older, feeling blue :-(

(5 Posts)
bluebannana Sat 18-Mar-17 12:52:53

Ok I'm 34 ttc #1 but life keeps getting in the way, feeling so frustrated. Startted ttc last April and had 4 cycles before DH got seriously ill. He was keen not to stop trying, but I was worried about extra stress on us both, so we agreed to not actively try but not to prevent. DH is now much better but on a high dose of medication which interferes with maintaining an errection as a side effect, it also seems to have reduced his drive. A few months after him getting ill, I got ill too and was started on ADs, since starting these my cycles have gone wacky, which is so cruel as even though we are not trying every month when AF doesn't show up I get my hopes up. Currently on cd 53 with a few days of sore boobs and worserning nausea dared to hope but bfn again. GP wants me to stay on these meds another 6 months minimum. I've also just found out I'm vitamin D deficient and on mega high vitD supplements which say in the instructions not to take if theres a chance of pregnancy, so need to avoid getting pregnant whilst on them.

And all the time I feel the clock is ticking, people tell me there is plenty of time but I know a lot of people similar ages and younger who have needed fertility treatment and its not worked for all of them. And my GPs made it clear that she doesn't think I should have kids with DH because of his health problems, she told me to "consider the morals of bringing a child into our situation" despite his medical team being incredibly supportive of the idea.

Not sure what posting here will achieve, can't even consider ttc again for a few months just needed to get it all out I think.

physicskate Sat 18-Mar-17 12:59:11

Sounds like you've had a lot on your plate. That's tough. Of course you should follow medical advice (and look at mess and interactions and indications). But you also need to do what's right for you, especially if it will take time to get things in order...

I'm sorry you e been having a rough time.

bluebannana Sat 18-Mar-17 13:06:35

Thanks, have also had 9 friends pregnancy ammouncements since Christmas, with constant fb updates of course :-(

Other than the medications which whilst frustrating I understand why I can't ttc on, I think my GPs opinion is personal not medical, one of DHs nurses told me to put in a formal complaint of descrimination, but I can't face it at the moment.

physicskate Sat 18-Mar-17 13:19:34

Some ADs are safe to ttc on! I don't know much about the other mess situation...

Some mothers enter parenthood knowing they won't have a partner (single mums), so I don't really get where those judgements are coming from either... everyone's situation is different and you never know until you walk in their shoes!! Crappy thing for her to say! Maybe when youre feeling up to it, a complaint might be worth it.

bluebannana Sat 18-Mar-17 13:49:36

The high dose vit D definately states not to take if any chance of pregnancy so I'll definately wait till I've finished that, also want good vit D levels for baby development, so I am glad it's been picked up and treated before pregnancy, it must have been pretty low for a while as there 2x rda vit D in my ppreconception multi vit and I was on a seperate vit D and calcium suplement been on both for over a year yet my levels were very low on recent blood test.

GP told me not to ttc on first ADs I was on reaserched into it and studdies have found no risks with that one or the one I'm on now until 3rd trimester. Problem is my periods have been irregular since starting this one it states in side effects to contact GP immediately if it causes problems with periods. GP said it is more likely to be due to stress, but I'm less stressed now than I was. One of the side effects has been rapid weight gain, and I know that can interfere with ovulation.

DHs condition is life long but not life threatening. It is likely there will be periods of stability possibly lasting years and flare ups where he becomes very ill. His team are working on getting the meds right to optimise stability. Ultimately life expectancy is 10-15 years reduced. He has relatives with the same condition one who has 4 health happy DC. There is a small chance of it being inherrited, obviously something we haven't taken lightly when deciding to ttc. I do think my GP who has never met DH is ignorant about his condition, she was stunned when I said he was back at work last time I saw her.

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