IVF or try naturally?(5 Posts)
Hi there, I'm wondering if I could get some help on this. I posted before saying how after 11 months of trying and straight after a laparoscopy I finally got a BFP. Unfortunately I miscarried at 5.5 weeks. This was my first whiff of a pregnancy and I think the laparoscopy really helped. The problem is I'm not sure what to do now.
After trying so long with nothing happening I wasn't expecting anything to change after the laparoscopy. I had thought I'd try for 3 more cycles naturally and then go for ivf to give myself he best chance and know that I'd done everything I could. I'm 41 btw, with 2 kids aged 6 and 8 but really wanted to try for one more....
After the miscarriage it made my rethink a bit. Basically I'll still have the same odds of having a miscarriage with ivf too. It's more of an emotional investment to do ivf rather than try naturally. Now I'm wondering if I should just try naturally and let whatever happens happen. There are no guarantees with ivf and I'm scared of starting down that road and not knowing when to stop....I'm kinda counting on the fact that maybe my chances of trying naturally are better now than last year, which may not be true.
Does anyone know how much time months-wise ivf takes? I mean, is it just one month and then you can try naturally either side or does it mess up your cycle/hormones for a few months? My consultant was lovely but I didn't come away with an idea of what impact ivf has on you other than she said it's 'emotionally, mentally and financially very trying' or something like that. I'll be 42 in December. I know I have to come to terms with whatever the outcome and I don't want to keep trying indefinitely.
The midwife I spoke to after the miscarriage was lovely....basically said what's for you won't pass you, and that her ,mam was 42 when she had her, before ivf etc existed.
If anyone can shed some light on this or pass on any words of experience/general thoughts on ivf V trying naturally I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks a mill!
Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss. That must have been heartbreaking.
We went through one cycle of ivf when trying to conceive our DD so thought I'd share my experience. The ivf didn't work for us but my period didn't return after the ivf. I got more and more stressed out as I needed my period to come so I could book my next ivf cycle. In the end I went to my gp begging for help and she offered an ultrasound. The night before the ultrasound DH convinced me to do a pregnancy test and sure enough it was a BFP. Could have knocked me down with a feather! I was 8 weeks pregnant and had conceived naturally. So I don't know if my situation is what normal looks like but if it is then you're fertile straight away if the ivf fails!
In terms of beforehand I think it's about 6 weeks of drugs (I might be wrong) and I don't think you can conceive naturally in that time although I did read the other day about a woman who got pregnant with twins through ivf but at the same time conceived a 3rd baby naturally. To be fair the odds of that happening made it pretty rare but again perhaps that suggests that your cycle isn't as 'switched off' as we might think.
I've only been through ivf once but happy to answer any other questions you have xx
Thanks so much for your reply Welshmammy. Do you mind me asking what age you were when you went for ivf? Had you decided beforehand how many cycles you would do? That's brilliant that you got pregnant straight after. Also great that you didn't find out till 8 weeks. If I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again the countdown to 12 weeks will be hard.
The time-span of ivf depends on the kind of protocol you follow - long or short.
Have you considered IUI? Cheaper and you can also TTC naturally alongside it.
I was 34 (2 months off 35) when I had the ivf. We were eligible for 3 free cycles so would have used all of those. To be honest at that point we would have probably then paid for more had we needed them. Because of our difficulties we have already said that now we're trying again if we're not pregnant by x then we will go and see someone privately with a view to exploring ivf.
Yes having lost two babies last year I can't imagine how I would ever cope with the first trimester of pregnancy again so totally know what you mean xx
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