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Moral dilemma

(7 Posts)
WTFRUon Tue 28-Feb-17 16:51:33

After 5 years of trying to conceive and many miscarriages later we decided IVF (ICSI) was the best option. I was lucky enough to get 36 top grade follicles and once they were inseminated we had 30 top grade embryos and after growing them for 3 days ended up with 15 blastocysts. We're we're very lucky here and after 1 failed attempt we had a successful pregnancy and 6 blastocysts left after some didn't survive freezing. It's amazing how quickly those numbers diminish. 4 years later we decided to have another go using the frozen blastocysts and successfully had twins. Our family is now complete however there are 3 blastocysts still frozen and every year we have a letter asking if we want to pay to continue to keep them frozen or destroy them or donate to science. After 10 years they automatically get destroyed anyway but you have to pay to keep them frozen for that time. We have another 5 years to go. It may seem obvious since our family is complete but I have three beautiful children and potentially there are another 3 beautiful children frozen. They are matured to 3 days so it is like being 3 days pregnant. I guess the question is as follows; when does one believe life begins? It is easier for my morals to keep paying for the next 5 years so that someone else makes the decision. I have been battling this question every year and I keep paying for them to continue to be frozen. Last year it was because I had a complicated pregnancy and I wanted to ensure the twins arrived safely but now they have I still cannot make the decision. I can't even say the words out loud! Thoughts please ? Morally? Religiously? What would you do and why? I guess the other question is, can I live with it? Thanks

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Tue 28-Feb-17 16:55:14

A friend was in the same position. 5 frozen and in the last weeks of storage. . She went for it and only 1 was fit for transfer. She had a lovely dd. She said she couldn't have made any other decision morally. It was her 3rd pregnancy. I dd, twin ds and then got another dd.

PurpleDaisies Tue 28-Feb-17 16:55:55

Can I ask the obvious question-why didn't you think about this before starting the IVF? confused

Olddogsnewtricks Tue 28-Feb-17 17:01:15

I have the same dilemma OP. I can't afford or want more children. I didn't want to freeze any blastocysts but was talked / bullied into it.

Importantnotice Tue 28-Feb-17 17:03:37

Can you afford 3 more children? If you can go for it.

Twinnymummy16 Tue 28-Feb-17 17:10:54

Purpledaisies when we started IVF we had no way of knowing if it would work at all. I have a friend that only makes 2 folicules and are all gone by the time they get to blastocyst stage so we are very lucky. It is really difficult to think that far ahead when all you want is a baby.

Twinnymummy16 Tue 28-Feb-17 17:13:10

Importantnotice TBH I'm not sure we can afford the 3 we have the twinny boy eats like a horse! I'm pretty sure it was triplets and he ate one of them! I have to go back to work full time so childcare is the biggest cost issue

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