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Baby #4?

(19 Posts)
Hotpinkangel19 Fri 24-Feb-17 16:25:32

Talking about a possible #4..... is the jump from 3-4 that bad? At discussion stage now but I really want just 1 more x

HiDBandSIL Fri 24-Feb-17 16:47:34

What ages are your current 3?

Hotpinkangel19 Fri 24-Feb-17 16:48:04

6, 9 and nearly 11

Waterfeature Fri 24-Feb-17 17:07:21

So much depends on personalities! I really wanted number 4 too. Ended up having 5 as well! I didn't find 3 to 4 hard-- 1 to 2 was the killer for me. I say go for it grin

Hotpinkangel19 Fri 24-Feb-17 18:11:37

Water feature, 5 is a fab number! I'm seriously thinking about it, I know fertility declines at 35.... so I need to do some decision making! X

Emma2803 Fri 24-Feb-17 20:36:06

I say go for it!! Your other children are up a bit so they are probably a bit more independent and could help a wee bit!!

Waterfeature Fri 24-Feb-17 21:11:16

I'm now hoping for number 6 and in my 40s so I'm sure that influences my thinking!

Hotpinkangel19 Sat 25-Feb-17 09:06:12

Fab! Thanks everyone! Definitely feel more positive now! Xx Good luck with #6 Water x

JaxingJump Sat 25-Feb-17 09:15:36

I hope this doesn't cause upset as a question but how do you give attention to 4, 5 or 6. Does it not just feel like people everywhere? I've 3 little ones and the 4th is an ongoing debate but right now I just feel so stretched I can't see how I'd spend time with, get to really know and be as involved with any of them if I went for even one more. I want to be involved in their adult lives and I see with my inlaws who had 4, that they are struggling to help and be involved with us all and our families. Only 3 have kids yet too! But I guess you can't know if all your kids will have kids or start families at the same time. I just can't imagine keeping up with 4 at any stage of life.

Someone once told me that kids in 4+ families for the most part have great, fun, lively childhoods but don't really get to know their parents one on one. Actually a few people have told me that was their experience in bigger families. They felt loved and loved their parents! Just to clarify but think 4 meant they became a gang and parents became very busy.

Just something I'd love to hear more opinions on.

Suzietwo Sat 25-Feb-17 09:23:25

I'm one of 5 and certainly knew/know my parents! There are 11 years from top to bottom. Being part of a large family has been a defining feature of my life for all sorts of reasons and I can't imagine it any other way.

I have 4 children aged baby- 7 years. I can't have more (c sections) and so amgraduaky making peace with 'just' 4. So far I have found the jump to 4 (baby is 8 months) really interesting. I no longer feel able (or inclined) to do anything which isn't family centric. I also work f/t which may be relevant but in the past I might have gone to an evening thing or seen friends. These days I'm either with kids or working.

Hotpinkangel19 Sat 25-Feb-17 09:58:19

Suzie, that's really interesting! I work 5 days a week, I just feel that 1 more would be complete xx

Waterfeature Sat 25-Feb-17 15:23:17

My 5 are also spread out over 11 years. Had the first three in just over 3 years and that was definitely a bit of a blur. I do feel that I have time with each of them Jaxxing but it's definitely more of a challenge as they get older and their interests diverge. School holidays are now a blur of delivering one child after another to exciting activities...

There are loads of advantages to the DC of being in a big family -- always having a playmate; little ones having big ones to look up to and big ones having little ones to dote on for example. I know that my older 4 won't be fazed by babies in the way I was. The older ones do have to be more independent and help out at home (not to the extent of drudgery) -- e.g. Doing their own washing.

I won't prolong this essay but good luck to all pondering this!

user99009960546 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:56:17

Go for it, my children where 7,9 & 11 when number 4 arrived (unplanned)

Best thing that ever happened to our family

willitbe Sun 26-Feb-17 09:16:45

I always wanted 4. (recurrent miscarriages and perimenopause put a stop to that ever happening.) However I am a foster carer now and so we often have 4 or 5 children living in the house, and it can be busy.

You do have to plan one-on-one time with your children more, when there are more children in the house. But they value that time more too.

0-1 and 1-2 were definitely harder than 2-3 or 3-4 or 4 -5.... I think once you have gone past two children, you know that you only have one pair of hands and one pair of eyes, so keeping a watch on three children is tricky and more is harder still, but the older ones start to watch out for the younger ones, and the characters of the children make a huge difference on how easy or difficult it is with more children.

I would say that having a child with special needs is more of an impact on the family than the number of children. The more the merrier in this house!

With the ages of the children that you have, just be prepared for the terrible twos of the youngest to hit, at the same time as the terrible teens of the oldest.......... The combo is a killer.

Depending on your own age also consider what if the peri-menopause hits at the same time as teenage years for your youngest.... but hopefully you are wonderfully young and that won't happen for you.

Having 4 children is easier when they are younger in my opinion, but perhaps that is because we are in the teen zone here (with baby foster children at times).

JaxingJump Sun 26-Feb-17 10:00:07

Really interesting. Maybe I am just so under pressure with my 3 being so little and demanding right now all in the same way at the same time. I suspect in 2-3 yrs I'll start thinking again about #4.

Welshmamma Mon 27-Feb-17 10:13:38

I have three children and two step children live with me. Ages 17-10. We would love another x The more the merrier!
I make sure I spend time with everyone individually as well as doing family stuff. I work so it's not always easy but sometimes I look at the washing pile and think sod it im taking my son out for tea and cake lol x

Welshmamma Mon 27-Feb-17 10:14:05

I'm 42 so I feel the clock ticking.... not sure if this is a factor lol x

Hotpinkangel19 Mon 27-Feb-17 17:37:55

Willitbe I am 33 so not too young 🙈 I have a 9 year old possible ASD/Aspergers so I can see what you mean about SEN.

Welshmamma Mon 27-Feb-17 19:00:10

My eldest has ADHD and ASD. He is a devil lol but is absolutely gorgeous with little ones so if I do manage a BFP i am hoping he will be a hands on big bro! Lol x

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