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Is it super vain to try to plan your due date?

(79 Posts)
OnNaturesCourse Tue 14-Feb-17 09:41:49

For example my partner and i plan on taking a break from TTC so we dont have a due date over xmas/new year. Had mixed reactions to this decision. 😕 We know we cant control it completely, and the months we miss might have been lucky for our TTC journey.. But i know loads of people born in that 3-4 week period in Dec/Jan and everyone hates it. Anyone else try to plan things like this?

ethelfleda Tue 14-Feb-17 09:43:52

I don't think it's vain - it's your personal decision. DH actually suggested this to me but I disagreed.

IHeartKingThistle Tue 14-Feb-17 09:44:21

Well, I'm a teacher and wanted to avoid Christmas and August. Ended up with one Christmas baby and one August baby and couldn't care less! There are way more important things.

Ps DD loves having a Christmas birthday.

smu06set Tue 14-Feb-17 09:45:50

Have to say if we are still ttc then we will take a break in Nov as dont want an August baby purely for schooling disadvantages. The christmas period wouldnt bother me!

AuntiePenguin Tue 14-Feb-17 09:47:06

That's sensible. Hospitals tend to be understaffed at Christmas and new year, so getting support you want for childbirth and new baby can be much harder (we had a bad experience with a near-Christmas birth and have spoken to others who had the same problem) so if you can avoid it that's good.

Also birthdays at that time of year are a pain.

I'm not sure you mean "vain" though, it's only vain if your reasoning is something to do with pride in your physical appearance and that doesn't seem to be part of your thinking.

NameChange30 Tue 14-Feb-17 09:47:49

It's not vain at all, it's nothing to do with personal appearance or vanity!

I did exactly that, took a break from TTC in April because I didn't want a Christmas/NY baby. Of course if your due date is later the baby could still be early, but the chances of a festive birthday are still much lower.

It's no-one else's business and if they're going to be judgey, just don't talk to them about it!

eurochick Tue 14-Feb-17 09:48:15

I postponed starting ttc by a month to avoid an August baby. Three years and four rounds of ivf later I was overjoyed to finally have a due date - of 28 August...

2014newme Tue 14-Feb-17 09:49:28

How is it vain? I don't understand

NerrSnerr Tue 14-Feb-17 09:50:34

I don't think it's vain. I would consider how you'd feel in 3-4 years time if you're struggling to conceive and regret at as that could have been the month.

Things don't always go to plan. Based on ovulation our daughter was due on the 20th September, the scan brought this to the 12th and she arrived on the 31st August. We didn't plan not to have an August baby but just shows they don't always arrive when you think they will!

Somehowsomewhere Tue 14-Feb-17 09:50:55

As others have said, it's only vain if your reasoning for avoiding certain months is to do with your physical appearance. So no, it doesn't appear to be vain in this case.
I wasn't bothered when mine were born and have a November and a July baby. Both fine so far.

ShowOfHands Tue 14-Feb-17 09:52:00

I started ttc a month later than originally planned because I wanted to avoid an August baby. DS was a shade early, waters breaking on Sept 1st. I was relieved tbh.

Sgtmajormummy Tue 14-Feb-17 09:52:00

I vaguely wanted a Spring baby with DC2 and got one grin. Much easier to take them around without bundling them up in snow suits.
DC1 was born at a low point for work and I was back in time for the busy season but that was luck, not choice.

If we'd had difficulties TTC their birth date wouldn't have mattered.
flowers to anyone who is.

ph0ebe Tue 14-Feb-17 09:56:03

No its sensible, I hast pnd the first time giving birth in winter I think made it worse. I planned to have an April baby & in fact had her in may smile

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity Tue 14-Feb-17 09:56:48

Speaking as someone who has kids with a December and January birthday, and therefore we struggle financially when it comes to buying for Christmas AND two birthdays, I sort of wish that we had planned better - we're very fertile and it's only ever taken no more than two cycles to conceive (4 pregnancies).
However, now that I have my kids, I know that if we had waited we wouldn't have THESE very kids. And that thought fills me with horror. They're perfect to me. Despite my username

Somehowsomewhere Tue 14-Feb-17 09:57:08

Much easier to take them around without bundling them up in snow suits.

I much preferred having a winter baby to a summer one, I absolutely hated breastfeeding a newborn constantly when I was hot and sticky and wanted to rip my skin off and sit in a cold bath.
Spring would be ideal!

FenellaMaxwellsPony Tue 14-Feb-17 09:59:12

I don't see how it's vain, unless it's because you don't want to look fat in party photos over Christmas!

rollonthesummer Tue 14-Feb-17 09:59:15

mixed reactions to this decision

I can understand the decision, but I wouldn't be discussing it with people!

Somehowsomewhere Tue 14-Feb-17 10:02:16

I find it odd that anyone discusses TTC with anyone TBH! We didn't tell anyone, just got on with it. I'd feel odd basically saying 'we're having sex without contraception'

NameChange30 Tue 14-Feb-17 10:06:44


Well we're all different aren't we smile

I was comfortable telling close family and friends that we were TTC, not the details but the general fact of it.

TTC was a big deal for us and I like to be able to talk about big things in my life.

Totally respect people who prefer not to talk about it though, it's a personal decision.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 14-Feb-17 10:11:25

Why vain? Sensible. Not sure why you felt the need to discuss your sexual activity woth other people. I can imagine saying that to friends but wouldnmt expect any disapproving comments from them!

Californiasoul Tue 14-Feb-17 10:15:53

I feel sad for my own late August born baby. She's honestly not disadvantaged at all at school. For what it's worth her actual due date was the 8th September which would of course have made her one of the very oldest in the school year.
You can't plan everything.

MyWineTime Tue 14-Feb-17 10:42:57

Nothing vain about it, I did the same thing. It was to give our children the best chances we could. Many August and Christmas babies are happy and successful, but it does have an impact on some, and that was such a simple thing that we could change, we were happy to do so.

OnNaturesCourse Tue 14-Feb-17 11:14:27

Lots of comments about August, maybe i missed something but why would you avoid August? People have said vain to me which is why i worded it as such, i think they see it as im planning my ideal time to fit in with my life. I discuss TTC quite openly with close friend who have kids, and my mother. I dont see why i shouldnt, not like im telling every time n every detail of sex. I just have a tight support group.

Dontstepinthecowpat Tue 14-Feb-17 11:21:39

Don't think it is vain, I avoided TTC in August so I could drink lots of process on my 10th wedding anniversary in September blush it was fine though as I am now due DC4 in June.

I can't imagine telling anyone though that we are using contraception in March to avoid a baby at Christmas.

hugoagogo Tue 14-Feb-17 11:29:00

I think it's sensible, I planned to do this with ds, but fell pregnant before it came to it.
It might not always work out though as babies to sometimes arrive early or late. ( I was 7 weeks early! Blew all dms plans out of the water grin)
Some people want to avoid august because of school years.

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