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Should i give up?

(10 Posts)
2ndaryInfertilityage30 Mon 13-Feb-17 16:02:02

This is the first time I've ever posted on a forum but I am at a loss of what to do next.

I am very lucky, I have a healthy beautiful 4-year-old - who was the surprise of my life, conceived with my DH whilst I was on the pill. I had not long had cervical surgery for CIN3 when I conceived (CIN3 Severe pre cancer of the cervix/ likely to become a cancer if not treated) This was not an ideal time to have a baby due to the cervical surgery, but after months of bed rest we were lucky and I had my baby at 39 weeks. The surgery has been a success and I have had negative smears ever since.

2 years ago we started trying for a sibling. We were pretty arrogant and thought we would be able to 'plan' the next one since we conceived under such unlikely circumstance first time. However 2 years of TTC and nothing. We have been labelled with secondary unexplained infertility and largely get no sympathy from people we share this info with (My mum/ a few friends) People always say 'Well your lucky to have one' - and I agree we are, but I feel so guilty watching her grow up alone. I take every play date going despite working full time, but there is no substitute for a brother or a sister. Even if we got lucky next month the age gap would be 5 years and she won’t have a play mate for her childhood years. It's also very unlikely we will get lucky anytime soon given the past 2 years of trying without luck. My daughter says her biggest wish is to have a sister. (She doesn't get this from us, we are very careful not to discuss this in front of her)

To add insult to injury, our fertility tests have come back great - in fact, we really should be super fertile one doctor joked. I did remind him that we were in fact not remotely fertile. I am ovulating so the NHS won’t offer clomid. Is this worth trying privately? I am spending about £200 a month on acupuncture - no luck so far 2 months in. Does anyone have any luck with unexplained secondary infertility? I’ve also had a Laparoscopy - all in good condition. I have no answer and no hope. Should I just give up - and also, how do you give up - it's not like I can stop being with my husband?

ethelfleda Mon 13-Feb-17 16:59:04

Hey and sorry to hear about your difficulties! Have you tried absolutely every thing? Googled everything you can? Do you chart or use opks? Are you and your husband taking pre conception vits? Are your cycles regular etc? There is so much for the body to go through to conceive that it seems like even the smallest thing can stop it from happening. For instance I've read reviews on fertility lube of people trying for years and conceiving first go with that (just one example)

WelshMammy123 Mon 13-Feb-17 17:39:46


I'm so sorry to read your story. I'm currently TTC number 2 but after two losses last year I wonder if it's ever going to happen for us so I get the despair you feel. I similarly know how lucky we are to have dd and am eternally grateful to have her. I don't have secondary unexplained infertility (as far as I know) but we did have unexplained infertility when TTC our DD. It took us 3.5 years and a failed ivf cycle before we conceived her naturally.

I would echo previous posters comments about supplements and about fertility lube. I've recently started using pre-seed (first month). No idea if it'll have any effect but worth a try.

In the depths of my TTC despair I approached serum clinic in Cyprus. They did a questionnaire with me and gave me some advice on what supplements to be taking. I started taking them and did conceive DD soon after. Might have been coincidence - who knows.

For context now I take a pre conception pregnacare tablet, ubiquinol and baby aspirin every day. I've dug out my list from serum and whilst I'm not quite at the point of adding other supplements in I am going to follow some of the advice around pint of full fat milk a day, pineapple core, Brazil nuts etc.

It might be worth reading 'it starts with an egg' if you haven't already?

I'm sorry you're not getting much help with this from doctor's etc but I guess once they've given a diagnosis (even one as frustrating as 'unexplained') there's not much else they feel they can do xx

2ndaryInfertilityage30 Mon 13-Feb-17 18:17:38

Hi both. Thank you for your responses - and welshMammy you've been through a lot. I admire your stamina!

We have tried ovulations lots (get a good positive every month for about 3 days) supplements, boo tea, acupuncture,
dr Google.

We're at a private clinic end of Feb and I think they will tell us IVF. I just don't think I could survive it.

Anything else we can try?

2ndaryInfertilityage30 Mon 13-Feb-17 18:18:18

Also I've not read it start with and egg - I shall order it now...

ethelfleda Mon 13-Feb-17 18:42:22

If you're ovulating and your man has been tested and his swimmers are fine then I would guess that either sperm isn't getting to egg to fertilize OR fertilized egg isnt implanting.
If its the First one - improving your ewcm and using a fertility lubricant should help. I've heard great things about grapefruit juice and evening primrose oil! Trying both myself this month. Also elevating hips after sex for as long as you can to allow gravity to help.
If it's the second one - daily pomegranate juice and a few cups of raspberry leaf tea (but only up to ovulation) can help here too (again, trying both myself this month!)

It's only my 4th month TTC so sorry if you've thought of these already or if I haven't helped. X

2ndaryInfertilityage30 Mon 13-Feb-17 19:05:44

Not tried them but I will. I've had a laporoscopy so I know my tubes are clear. I will try this thank you Ethelfleda thank you l!!

ethelfleda Mon 13-Feb-17 19:10:16

Please let us know how you get on smile x

2ndaryInfertilityage30 Tue 14-Feb-17 11:32:32

I will indeed and good luck to you guys TTC also.

m33r Tue 14-Feb-17 14:59:44

When did you get the laparoscopy? After 20 months ttc #1 I got pregnant. It was the month of our lap. I also used opks, preseed, reflexology, no alcohol, no caffeine and both sh and I on fertility vits. Hang in there! X

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