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Would you have this procedure?

(6 Posts)
itsgoodtobehome Tue 31-Jan-17 14:39:25

Hi. This probably should be in the over 40 ttc thread, but I wanted a bit of traffic as I have to make a fairly quick decision.
Bit of background - I'll try and keep it as brief as possible.
I'm 46, DH is 43. We have DS4 who was conceived naturally and fairly easily when I was 40 (born at 41). When he was about 16 months, we decided to ttc a second child. After 2 years of this, with absolutely no sign of a pregnancy, we decided to try IVF. We did 2 rounds, both of which went reasonably well in that we got a decent number of eggs, all fertilised, and good quality embryos. However, no pregnancy resulted. By this stage I was 45. DH and I had a long chat at the end of this, and decided that we had given it our best shot, and that we should call it a day with the ttc and enjoy our darling ds.
DH came to terms with this quite easily, but unfortunately I did not. I couldn't get my head round why I had been easily able to have a child just 4 years ago, but now couldn't. So, I went to see a very well respected fertility doctor in our area. She suggested having a hycosy (where they push dye through your tubes to see if there are any blockages). I had this done, and it did suggest that there was some blockage. She then referred me for a laporoscopy, which is a small operation done under general anesthetic where they put a camera through your belly button and see if there are any blockages, or anything else untoward going on in there.
I wasn't sure about having this, but I went along with the referral as she said there was quite a long waiting list, so I had time to think about it. This was about 3 months ago, and now the appointment has come through for 2 weeks time.
Of course I have had to come clean with DH that I went back for more tests. He is fine with it, but is still of the opinion that we should leave it alone now - although he will support me if I want to go ahead with it.
And that's the problem - I can't decide if I do want to go ahead with it. I'm 46 - should I accept that nature is telling me I'm not having any more children? Do I really want to put myself through surgery for something that may not make any difference? Will I regret it if I don't try? I am having all these conflicting thoughts, and I really need to let the hospital know if I'm not going to go ahead.
Sorry - that's quite long. But anyone got any wise thoughts on this?
Thanks you.

Ilovecaindingle Tue 31-Jan-17 14:42:02

I am ttc at 45 and a half. . Had a mc in June and have just about admitted defeat. If I could have the dye procedure to double check I would. . I think as you have gone this far you should persue this option open to you. Good luck.

delilahbucket Tue 31-Jan-17 14:58:37

I'm sorry but at 46 I wouldn't be trying anymore. The chances of a complicated pregnancy, labour and birth defects are higher than I would risk. That's not mentioning the let down if you don't fall pregnant or have a miscarriage.

physicskate Tue 31-Jan-17 15:59:27

Blockages would not have stopped ivf from working. I too would call it a day. Women cannot have it all, and in this modern world I fear that we sometimes leave having children too late.

I'm very sorry for your difficulties.

CordeliaFitzgerald Tue 31-Jan-17 18:27:18

Noone can tell you what to do - you have asked all the right questions in your OP, can you discuss them more with your DH? 46 is not necessarily too old, it is a really personal thing. FWIW I agree with the PP that you might regret not doing this, but there are obviously other things to weigh up. Good luck with your decision, whatever it is.

CautionHormone Tue 31-Jan-17 18:29:07

Nobody can tell you what to do, lovely. It's your body, your choices. It's you that's got to live with your choices if you don't decide to have another baby, nobody else's.

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