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How long to wait before trying IVF

(40 Posts)
lifesapeach Sun 22-Jan-17 20:11:33

Hi, my husband and I both turn 30 this year. We have been trying for a baby for 8 months with no luck. A few months back we decided to get tested to check everything is ok. My CD3 and CD21 blood tests and scans all came back normal. My husbands semen analysis came back normal (morphology was low at 3% but based on a count of 313m and concentration of 84%, the doctor said he was classified normal overall). For the last 8 months we've been taking pre conception supplements and I've been using OPKs to estimate ovulation timing. The doctor has also confirmed that I am ovulating. We are starting to ask ourselves when we would move to IVF/ICSI if we don't conceive naturally. We have decided that we would go private so that we have a bit more say over timings. We both feel ready for IVF now but think it would be sensible to give it a full 12 months to give us the best statistical chance of conceiving naturally. My question is, how long would you wait? Do you think that 12 months is long enough? Thanks!

Whereland Sun 22-Jan-17 21:54:04

There seems to be an influx of these posts recently...
honestly, 8 months is absolutely no time at all. Most people would wait 2 years before even considering ivf.

lifesapeach Sun 22-Jan-17 22:09:03

8 months is a v long time when you really want a baby, i can say from personal experience. I'm surprised anyone could think otherwise!

Whereland Sun 22-Jan-17 22:16:05

Yes it seems a long time. But it is normal for it to take a healthy couple with no issues 1-2 years to conceive.

lifesapeach Sun 22-Jan-17 22:18:26

Based on the studies I've researched, it seems around 90% of women who are able to get pregnant will do so within the first 12 months. Therefore, for me personally, 12 months feels like a sensible and logical time to start thinking about it. I know everyone is different and many people would choose to wait 2 years so I'm interested to understand people's reasons for waiting longer to help me make a balanced decision.

NanooCov Sun 22-Jan-17 22:20:48

I'm amazed you had semen analysis and blood work at 5 months! 8 months is honestly not very long. Most couples wouldn't even do any investigations until 12 months of trying - I was 37 and my husband 38 and we waited 12 months before any tests. Got pregnant at 15 months. I'd just try to relax.

DesolateWaist Sun 22-Jan-17 22:22:17

Leave it for 12 months. I know that it seems forever.
Will you get any NHS funding or will you be self funding?

I know how it feels. It seems like forever, especially when some people seem to get knocked up by looking at their DHs

lifesapeach Sun 22-Jan-17 22:27:33

I know that it is normal for it to take up to a year. c90% of women who can conceive will do so within 12 months so I wouldn't say it is 'normal' for it to take >12 months.

Whereland - I've got to say this.... it's so insensitive and unsupportive to say 8 months is not long at all. Yes, it's not long in the scheme of my whole life and not long in comparison to how long many other couples have been trying but 8 months of thinking about and wishing for a baby every single day is a long time!!!! Maybe you don't feel the same way and 8 months is easy for you but that doesn't give you the right to say it's not a long time for me.

Celticlassie Sun 22-Jan-17 22:27:45

Remember that IVF is no guarantee of a pregnancy. I've known a few people who have had multiple rounds of IVF with no success, which, after all that's invested in it, can be heartbreaking. I'd consider giving it 2 years before going for it. flowers

lifesapeach Sun 22-Jan-17 22:29:01

Thanks Nanoo. We did early testing privately because we wanted to rule out any major problems if that was the case.

lifesapeach Sun 22-Jan-17 22:31:18

Desolate, I think we would go private. Mainly because I'm not sure we'd be eligible for NHS - no problems identified, under 40 and been trying less than 2 years. I definitely wouldn't want to take someone's place in the queue who was more in need than us!

lifesapeach Sun 22-Jan-17 22:35:58

Celtic - Thanks. I try to remind myself of the IVF success rates, I have to remember it's not a automatic baby! If only they could develop a process that was a guaranteed success! 🙂

Northernlurker Sun 22-Jan-17 22:43:22

IVF is hugely invasive and may have long term consequences for your own health. For some people it's the right thing to move to eventually but for two thirty year olds with no identified problems it is frankly absurd to be thinking of it. And it's kind of offensive actually to be talking about eight months or twelve as an impossible length of time to wait when some posters wait the same number of years and still no baby. Be patient OP.

lifesapeach Sun 22-Jan-17 22:46:49

Northernlurker - hi, I didn't say 8 or 12 months 'is an impossible time to wait' so please don't be offended because I didn't actually say that!

Whereland Sun 22-Jan-17 22:49:05

I'm not talking about this with no experience- I've been trying two years and just looking at starting treatment now. So yes, in comparison 8 months is not a long time!! As most other people on this infertility board would agree.

Northernlurker Sun 22-Jan-17 22:51:21

You won't offend me. I've not had fertility issues, I saw your post on active conversations. You will offend plenty of people though.

kimnews Sun 22-Jan-17 22:57:44

8 months is way to soon to be considering IVF.
I know how you feel, I felt the same at that point, but now at 24 months TTC it sounds ridiculous. I hope you conceive soon so you don't have to experience the pain of many more months of disappointment.

MillieMoodle Sun 22-Jan-17 22:57:59

I would say maybe wait until you've been trying 12 months, it happens within that timeframe for a lot of people. We conceived DS1 the first month (aged 26 and 30). It took 12 months to conceive DS2 (aged 31 and 35) and I was starting to think it would never happen. In fact, I was about to call the doctors to make an appointment to discuss our options when I did a test and got a bfp.

I know it feels like forever and I know it's so disappointing each month when you're not pregnant but in the grand scheme of things, 8 months really isn't all that long. I'm absolutely not trying to upset you or be insensitive, and I realise it won't make you feel any better to say that but really, it could still happen within the next few months. If it doesn't, you've already had all the tests etc so you're ahead of the game so to speak. Wishing you lots of luck and hoping you don't need to go down the IVF route. Also, it's much easier said than done, but try to relax about it. flowers

lifesapeach Sun 22-Jan-17 22:59:47

I'm sorry that you've not had any luck yet! I do stand by my comment that 8 months has been a long time to me and remind you I wasn't saying it was a long time in comparison to others.

DesolateWaist Sun 22-Jan-17 23:00:00

We had NHS funded IVF when we had been trying for 12 months.
The criteria were that you had to be under 40, have no children and have a bmi under 30. It doesn't matter if there is no reason for it.

gincamelbak Sun 22-Jan-17 23:01:00

8 months really isn't a long time. I know it feels like it when you are in it, but it really isn't.
Are you timing sex only around positive OPKS? When we were TTC #2 (#1 Took 11 months, a break then 8 months, #2 took 18 months) we had sex every other day for a week at least before I started gearing up to ovulation, then every day for about 5 days around ovulation. For 18 months. I also took temperatures, every morning. For 18 months.

So throw everything at it for at least the year. Take OPKs, take temps. Have sex all the time ("do it till your eyes bleed" is how it was suggested to me). Then look into IVF if you need.

PurpleDaisies Sun 22-Jan-17 23:01:22

I've got to say this.... it's so insensitive and unsupportive to say 8 months is not long at all. Yes, it's not long in the scheme of my whole life and not long in comparison to how long many other couples have been trying but 8 months of thinking about and wishing for a baby every single day is a long time!!!! Maybe you don't feel the same way and 8 months is easy for you but that doesn't give you the right to say it's not a long time for me.

Many of us have been trying for years and years so I'm not sure this is the most sensitive thing to say on the infertility board. While I totally understand that it feels like a long time, it is totally normal for conception to take at least a year and many people don't even get investigated until after then (unless they're older, which you're not). No one is trying to minimise how you're feeling, but objectively eight months really isn't when you need to start worrying that you're infertile.

I wonder if you might be better trying the conception board? At the moment there's no reason to suggest you'll need ivf or have trouble conceiving in the fullness of time.

MillieMoodle Sun 22-Jan-17 23:02:12

Also I've only just realised that this thread is in infertility (it came up in active threads), so I'm sorry if anything I've said in my post above has upset or offended anyone. I realise that even 12 months of trying is very little time and I'm extremely lucky to have two DC. flowers for all who are still waiting.

lifesapeach Sun 22-Jan-17 23:03:09

Hi Purple, yes I definitely think this thread is in the wrong place- trying to get it moved now!

leedspirate Sun 22-Jan-17 23:07:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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