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TTC 2nd child - how long to try before seeking help?

(10 Posts)
sweetcheeks24 Wed 18-Jan-17 11:40:40

Sorry if this has been asked a million times - have found some older threads asking similar Q but I'm looking for more up-to-date advice! Women over 35 - how long did it take you to conceive second child and how long before you sought help? We're TTC a second child (3rd month of trying). It took us 14 months to conceive DS so feeling anxious that it may take just as long, if not longer, especially given that I'm about to turn 37. Online advice suggests seeking help after TTC for 6 months although I sneakily asked for advice at DS's recent GP appt & was told that it's worth seeking help ASAP if having trouble conceiving. Don't want to be too hasty as would like to persevere with TTC naturally but at the same time I don't want to wait too long as realise that time is marching on etc! I know that many women manage to conceive naturally well into their 40s but so many online articles make you feel like you have more chance of winning the lottery each month than conceiving! Thanks for any advice!

BestBeastie Wed 18-Jan-17 12:01:08

Who knows!
We conceived DS in month 1 - I was aged 33.

We've been ttc DC2 for a year now. One pregnancy, which lasted 9 weeks, resulted in miscarriage. And I'm now 38 (was 37 when started). My cycles - as I keep on coming on here to moan about - have gone bonkers, largely because (I think) of supplementation panic, which has caused me to go overboard in the vitamin department. I am now going for another round of Day 3/21 tests and I suspect I have progesterone issues.

You made find it very easy - this isn't representative but I was on a 35+ thread a while back. Most of us had had problems and most had (or have had) miscarriages. But the majority of the people who were on there when I joined the thread have become pregnant after about a year or so. I guess I'm not one of them, but I haven't entirely lost hope!

ArchiesMamaBird Wed 18-Jan-17 12:01:52

I don't have any helpful advice I'm afraid, but I'm 25 and ttc our 2nd child. We've been trying for 8 months now and still nothing, and I have an appt at doctors tomorrow to check that everything is ok.

I have a friend who is 35 and she conceived on her first month of trying, and I have a friend who is 25 who had PCOS and she also conceived first month. So I really think (as long as there are no underlying problems) that it is the luck of the draw. I'd definitely book a GP appt, because you can always cancel it if you find out you are pregnant in the meantime. Good Luck flowers

BestBeastie Wed 18-Jan-17 12:03:55

And, yes, I would go at 6 months - all your GP will do is do the day 3/21 tests. It's worth knowing that there isn't anything wrong in that department, whilst remaining chilled that you might (having had a year's go at it before) have th same experience. But it might just work for you!\

I have a friend who took nearly 2 years to conceive DC1 - she's now popping them out one after the other. Our bodies are crazily different from each other and our own historic selves!

sweetcheeks24 Wed 18-Jan-17 12:30:59

BestBeastie - wow, success after 1-month with your first! If only a quick conception rate first time round was indicative of what to expect second time round! I too have issues with my cycles and have problems pinpointing exactly when I ovulate etc - so have resorted to regularly ambushing DH at bedtime to cover all the bases! I'm sorry to hear about your MC however and I'm glad you haven't lost hope - we will both hopefully get there! We have your baby-popping friend to aspire to!! I think I will go to GP at 6-months although embarrassingly I don't know what 3/21 tests are - must do better research...! Thanks for your advice - very positive smile

sweetcheeks24 Wed 18-Jan-17 12:33:49

Archies - so true that it is the luck of the draw (sadly)! I hope your appt goes well tomorrow and that you will have some answers/support/success soon! I will try to get an appt with my GP soon too. Thanks for the good luck wishes - you too!

WelshMammy123 Wed 18-Jan-17 13:20:15

Hi,

I'm so glad you've started this post as I'm really interested in the responses. I'm 37 (almost 38) and have one DD who's 2. It took us over 3 years and one failed IVF before we conceived her naturally. We started trying for a second in January last year and I feel pregnant really quickly (1st or 2nd month) which really surprised me as thought we were in for a long battle. Unfortunately that pregnancy ended in MMC in April. In July I conceived again (3rd cycle after MMC) and again I was shocked. That devastatingly ended in a TFMR. After the heartbreak of last year we've now started trying again now that my periods are back to normal. This is probably month 2 of trying, I'm 9 DPO and have already done two POAS - both BFN. I don't know why I'm torturing myself but guess I'm just scared it won't happen again for us and like you feel that time isn't on my side.

So I don't think my story helps in any way other than to say that I totally know where you're coming from! Like you I think I'll go to the gp at 6 months if nothing's happened by then x

sweetcheeks24 Wed 18-Jan-17 13:51:05

@WelshMammy123, so sorry to hear about your experiences of TTC DC2 last year. Can’t even begin to imagine the heartbreak of going through all that. Glad you are feeling ready to try again – despite last year’s distress, it’s very promising that you are still super fertile.

I had almost forgotten how all-consuming it is when you’re TTC! How quickly it comes rushing back. Also torturing myself with far too many POAS and boring my DH to tears with constant knicker-watching/imagined pregnancy symptom updates. Are you in for the long haul? It took DH longer than me to come round to the idea of a second child and he doesn’t want to TTC for longer than 1-year, which is adding to the pressure. Good luck to you!! I hope you get that BFP soon smile

BestBeastie Wed 18-Jan-17 14:12:56

WelshMammy123 flowers how shit. But the best of luck - 3rd time lucky.

sweetcheeks24 yes - I know! Scored bullseye first time round. Desperately needed to as well to fit in with mat leave within entitlement. But it does set up expectations: I was already feeling the anxiety in cycle 4, because Id had it so easy the first time!
Day 3/21 tests are hormonal (oestrogen and progesterone), but they also throw in others like thyroid and ferritin to assess your reproductive health more generally. Good to do, but not necessarily the clear black and white response that you might think. Mine flagged low progesterone and low thyroid last time, but borderline and GP wouldn't pursue. Drives me nuts to think that might have been the root of the miscarriage and I will never know.

sweetcheeks24 Wed 18-Jan-17 14:38:38

@BestBeastie It sucks having to take these kind of things into consideration. I wish it was just as straight-forward as: want a baby -> have a baby -> everything else falls into place around it! Yes, can imagine that it does set up expectations – hope you don’t have to wait too long! Thanks for the info re 3/21 tests. Oh god, must be extremely frustrating wondering retrospectively if what was flagged in your results was in any way linked to MC. Total mind-f*ck! sad

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