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I'm such an idiot

(23 Posts)
Impatientwino Mon 16-Jan-17 07:58:44

Argh promised myself faithfully I wouldn't test early, nope not me... hmm

CD26 of a 30-31 day cycle - 10DPO and I just calmly ignored all the no no no inside my head and tested and got a VERY faint line on a FRER!

I'm such a moron, I now have to wait all week until at least Sunday for AF to even be due and it's going to be such a long week.

I've had lots of losses - the saddest being my stillborn son at 39 weeks last year so I'm a bitter old thing but I wish I wouldn't do this to myself, it really does affect my MH. It makes me jumpy and nervous.

If this turns out to be a chemical then I think I'm going to make sure that I have no tests in the house so I have to physically go and get one if AF is late.

I'm posting this as a sort of mark in the sand and reminder to myself really please don't tell me off too much

My name is impatientwino and I have been addicted to POAS for 5 years now blush

Anyone else? smile

Nospringflower Mon 16-Jan-17 08:01:34

It sounds like you've had such a difficult time its no wonder that you wanted to find out. Really hope it works out for you this time.

Impatientwino Mon 16-Jan-17 08:47:04

Thank you spring, I guess as my username suggests I'm not exactly a patient person! confused

kippersandcurtains Mon 16-Jan-17 08:59:56

Also have my fingers crossed for you. So very sorry to hear of your losses.
FWIW I got a bpf at 10dpo and it was right - got stronger each day.

MrsG30 Mon 16-Jan-17 09:12:13

FX for you, sounds like you've had a rough time.

I'm so sorry to hear about your son ❤️

BifsWif Mon 16-Jan-17 22:01:48

I'm so sorry to hear about your son.

Keeping everything crossed for you and whispering congratulations flowers

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 17-Jan-17 17:10:08

Really really hope this is your month OP. Can't imagine what you've been through, but you've survived it, and good things are ahead of you. Crossing everything for you. Please let us know! x

Impatientwino Tue 17-Jan-17 22:29:50

Thank you! I did another test this morning and line is much darker. Still only 11DPO though so it's anyone's guess. My boobs are really sore though so that's good.

I just think all I can do is get lots of rest, take my vitamin and aspirin (advised by consultants) and not drink and wait and see. Feeling sort of calm this evening... smile

Alb1 Tue 17-Jan-17 22:37:21

Really sorry about your son OP, and I really hope AF stays away. I did the same thing a few months ago (DD was stillborn in May) and I promised myself I wouldn't test early, of course tested at 10dpo and then spent weeks obsessing over colours of lines not being dark enough etc before moving onto blood tests and scans, I've been crazy! 18 weeks now tho so that's something at least. As soon as you can bare to stop POAS please do, line strength really does mean nothing after a certain point! Good luck smile

Impatientwino Wed 18-Jan-17 07:56:47

Alb1 so sorry about your daughter. It's a difficult road isn't it.

You're right, I will step away from the tests soon

I did a clear blue digital this morning 12DPO and it was positive so in theory my hcg is still climbing so that's good. With my last miscarriage I had a pretty instant tail off so at the moment the checking every day is keeping me calm or at least making me feel a little in control which helps me. As soon as I'm late and I get a positive then I will stop.

I do know that all this testing ultimately doesn't change things one way or the other but it does give me something to do while I wait smile

Haven't told DH yet, he's got such a stressful week at work and this will make it worse so will tell him when he gets home on Friday. He'll keep me away from the tests then! Period due Sunday.

Roseandbee Wed 18-Jan-17 08:31:34

I'm glad to read your line is getting darker it is a really good sign. Everything crossed for you! flowers

letthefunbegin Wed 18-Jan-17 08:36:24

This is a bit off topic for now but .... if you are pregnant you might find the angels and rainbows thread in antenatal clubs helpful. It kept me sane through a pregnancy after stillbirth. Apologies if you already know about it and good luck.

Impatientwino Wed 18-Jan-17 10:53:09

Ah lovely, thank you fun, definitely will need to find some sanity somewhere!!

user1470147116 Wed 18-Jan-17 11:20:10

You are not an idiot!

I hope this time it works out for you x

PollytheDolly Wed 18-Jan-17 11:26:26

Sounds promising OP flowers

Impatientwino Sun 22-Jan-17 06:30:17

Well Sunday is finally here and I did a CB digital and it's gone up to 2-3!

It's a long road from here but that's a positive start at the very least! smile

MrsG30 Sun 22-Jan-17 14:29:04

Impatient - I'm over the moon for you! Congratulations! flowers

WellErrr Sun 22-Jan-17 14:30:20

Congratulations!!

haveacupoftea Sun 22-Jan-17 16:06:30

Fantastic! Good luck smile

Impatientwino Sun 22-Jan-17 19:14:05

Thank you ladies, am hoping it keeps climbing and am crossing everything!

I cannot tell you how much I want a massive bucket glass of wine to chill myself out! confusedwine

Alb1 Mon 23-Jan-17 17:00:13

I missed this yesterday, congratulations 😊 fingers crossed for you!

Impatientwino Mon 30-Jan-17 07:07:18

Ok so, tested today (week later) and I've gone up to 3+ and I should be 5+1

So pleased! Am feeling brave enough now to start to think about getting booked in. After my son died they said I can have an early scan if I got pregnant again as reassurance so I think I'm going to take them up on that.

Again, it doesn't change the end outcome but I'd like to see how things are progressing in a couple of weeks. Fingers crossed!

wickedwitchofwaterloo Wed 01-Feb-17 16:58:51

So pleased to hear it's progressing positively for you thus far - I'm so sorry for the loss of your son.
I've got my fingers crossed for you xx

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