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Total stress-head trying to conceive

(13 Posts)
MissyJones83 Wed 11-Jan-17 14:36:23

So I thought I would start this thread for anyone out there who is prone to anxiety or stress. I myself have an anxiety disorder and I also have health anxiety so both trying to conceive and the thought of actually being pregnant raises my anxiety.
I have noticed I also have a short luteal phase (I think) and have read that stress can impact on this and trying to conceive.
All in all I am trying to lower my levels of stress and anxiety and thought it would be good to share stories of our anxieties and ways to cope!!!
As a starter I found this article interesting
http://www.unexplainedinfertilityinfo.com/stress/
Much love

Mrsbluebell17 Wed 11-Jan-17 21:41:03

Hi missy. Thanks for posting this thread. I too find myself getting rather anxious from time to time. Most of the time I know my thoughts are ridiculous but I can't help but worry about things. I'm on cycle 3 of ttc#1 and currently cd23 and about 8dpo I think. I had what I think was a chemical pg in early December.

The thing I'm finding hardest is trying not to symptom spot. The 2ww is so difficult. I think I'll be worried until I get pregnant, then worried until the baby is here, and then worried about looking after a child. I'm just a born worrier hehe.

Booboomoogooboo Wed 11-Jan-17 21:50:27

Wow good thread Missy, thanks for starting! Posted in a different thread earlier about trying for #2 for over a year now and too scared to go see the doc! Suffer from anxiety and also had PND after dc1. I'm so worried about the whole thing...if I can't get pregnant, if I do fall pregnant, the works. I'm an awful worrier and I'd love to hear how others are coping with all this.

randomacts Thu 12-Jan-17 04:41:20

Hello! I'm a depression and anxiety sufferer as well. I tend to analyse things a lot and people get this mixed up with stress which when told "stop stressing" stresses me out! I'm new to TTC we've been trying for 8 months and no news yet. I'm currently a week late and done a negative test and I'm just getting fed up with it. Last month I had been waiting 6 weeks for a period. Did 4 negative tests and 1 blood test and was told to wait for the period for up until 6 months and if it doesn't arrive to go to the doctors. Eventually it did show up and I feel like I'm going round in circles again. Hormones and anxiety aren't fun either! Lol

MissyJones83 Thu 12-Jan-17 09:17:45

bluebell yes I know exactly how you feel with th symptom spotting it seems to be a huge theme on all of these threads and seems to be causing a lot of people real problems. I think the problem with symptom spotting is that so many pregnancy symptoms are similar to PMS so people seem to be getting their hopes up and it ending up more often than not with disappointment or worry.
It is so hard to not symptom spot if you are really trying to get preg and especially I imagine if you have been trying for a long while. Super especially if you are like me and don't just symptom spot re TTC but with other aspects of health it becomes a bit of an unhealthy obsession!
The way I am trying to cope with this is by promising myself that
1. I will not do a preg test until I am at least a couple of days late for AF. Difficult for you though last month by sound of things with such a wait!!!
2. After being on pill and coming off in oct things are still settling. I am going to try to figure out when I ovulate because I think it's good to know but try not to obsess over it and only track things for a couple of months and then let nature take its course
3. One thing in my mind is that I think I have a short luteal phase I am sure I ovulated only 9 days before my AF last month BUT I am not going to worry about it and see how things go - easier said than done!

Both delayed period and short luteal phase have been linked to anxiety and stress so maybe that's something to think about and work on for us!

MissyJones83 Thu 12-Jan-17 09:26:23

booboo so do you have a fear of going to docs? It might put your mind at ease if you go on for a chat if you have been trying for 2 years now...there are lots of things that can be done to help you get preg if it's not seeming to happen for whatever reason this time (could be linked to anxiety who knows)...have you seen a counsellor?
I am trying not to think about the worries of being pregnant but when I do these are my worries...
Will the pregnancy go well - I will symptom spot all of the time due to health anxiety I know
Will the birth be okay
How will I cope with a little one
How on earth can I do the level of work I currently do AND have a child
All worries I am sure most people have but due to anxiety I worry they will be magnified

I have started to see a counsellor about my anxiety so I am hoping it will start to help me tackle some of my day to day worries and if I do get preg I can go to her for help. It's not cheap but I was so bad I could not wait on the NHS list any longer (there was a 3 month wait)-

MissyJones83 Thu 12-Jan-17 09:31:38

bluebell random think I may have read your posts and mixed them up a bit in my reply!!

random what a pain with being late and a BFN maybe you ovulated a bit late or something? What cycle day are you on now?

Booboomoogooboo Thu 12-Jan-17 21:38:11

Hi Missy no I haven't been to a counsellor. I don't really admit to the anxiety in RL, I try to put on a brave face every day and hide the panic within! I got pretty bad with it about a year ago and went to the drs, who prescribed me citalopram, but I didn't take them. I'm trying to manage it myself. So, I'm worried that if I go back they'll read my notes about anxiety and PND and advise me against having another. Ridiculous, probably, but it's a worry in my mind. I'm really going to try to make an appointment with the gp once AF turns up, if I can do that then maybe I can find the courage to go. How useful do you find the counselling? Is it expensive, if you don't mind me asking?

MissyJones83 Fri 13-Jan-17 16:41:48

Hi boo I know what you mean about not admitting to it in RL I've only told a select few! It would be much easier to deal with if it was accepted just like other illnesses are...
Anyway when I went to docs about mine they did not offer me pills they offered me a referral to find out about counselling - there is a bit of a waiting list but they have offered other things as well in the interim. I couldn't wait for NHS because I felt so dreadful and worried about it damaging my work prospects so go privately now my sessions are £80 each which is quite a lot but I really needed to get things sorted.
I wouldn't worry about speaking to your GP about this they can not tell you to not TTC they need to help you find a solution to your anxiety. If you explain you really want to TTC and are planning to do so but want to sort your anxiety out so it may prevent anything like PND you might get to the top of the waiting list sooner who knows!
I'm only early days into counselling so wouldn't want to say if it works or not because I don't know. I do believe it works for people though and hope it will work for me.

Mumh3art16 Fri 13-Jan-17 18:44:05

I'm also prone to this, ttc #1 cycle 1.
Stressing so much, looking for symptoms and I'm finding them. I'm praying it's not all in my head, I have a week to wait for my next af 😢 I'm already a emotional wreck!
Any advice welcome x

MissyJones83 Fri 13-Jan-17 20:06:24

mumh what symptoms are you trying to spot? All I can say is from experience so far no point symptom spotting as AF symptoms are similar to lots of BFP symptoms so no point until you miss AF even thinking about it as you are on on cycle 1! I think if it has been months and months or even a year then maybe being aware of when you ovulate would be a good idea but there is no point symptom spotting now just enjoy the DTD part.
Easier said than done when you get anxious about stuff I know but this was my NY resolution.
Oh and don't test early because that can throw up loads of worry too. Some people get BFP when testing early only to lose it early and some get a BFN and then turn out to be preggo!

Mumh3art16 Fri 13-Jan-17 20:26:02

Missy - thanks for your advices.
it's not so much trying to spot them it's more I'm getting symptoms and then googling them and discover it could be a sign. Like cramping but not like the usual period cramps, I had a really bad stomach today and sorry for the detail but loose stools I googled that and I discovered that could be a sign and salt cravings etc. I know I sound crazy I've just waited so long and now we've decided to try I'm just desperate for it to happen. Fingers crossed x

MissyJones83 Sat 14-Jan-17 15:37:04

Yes fx for you.
All I can say is yes those could be symptoms of pregnancy but they can also just me normal day to day things that happen and we don't usually notice but now we notice the odd twinge or odd cramp because we are being more aware of how are bodies feel due to looking out for preg symptoms!! The mind can play tricks!
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