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Who is the father

(28 Posts)
LizziLush Mon 09-Jan-17 17:05:48

Sorry if this is wrong thread but it is about when I conceiv

I am 15/16weeks pregnant and I am unsure who the father is. I am pretty certain it is my partners but the uncertainty is making me crazy.

I know I am stupid but I did try and take precautions. On 22nd August 2016 I had sex with my ex. The condom split so the next day I had the morning after pill.

I then had sex again with the same guy 27/28th August. But he did not come inside me, withdrew ages before he was about to ejaculate. (I know this isn't always reliable).

I got a bleed on 21st September. Which seemed like a normal period to me.

I then seen my ex again before moving away on 29th September. We didn't have sex but he received oral.

On 3rd (not sure if my partner ejaculated inside me) 5th and 7th of October I had sex with my partner. I was monitoring ovulation with opk. I got a positive test on the 7th October. when I found out I was pregnant, I was certain it was my partners based on my ovulation and the times we had sex that week but at my 12 week scan I measured 4 days over, which would mean I conceived on the 3rd (even though my opk didn't test positive until the 7th). This has completely thrown me.

Anyway, is there anyway this baby could be my ex's? I am seriously considering a termination if it could be his but just wanted to see what your thoughts were.

FannyWisdom Mon 09-Jan-17 17:08:14

You don't need Internet advice are you in the UK?

LizziLush Mon 09-Jan-17 17:18:48


FannyWisdom Mon 09-Jan-17 17:20:28

Google nhs options.
You can get an appointment with a councillor to help with this.

Bubblegum89 Mon 09-Jan-17 17:21:40

It's possible it's your exes if the dates don't add up. You won't get much help RE termination here as this is a forum for ladies who are trying to get pregnant (many for a long long time) so you're best going to the "pregnancy choices" section

BobbyNoggle Mon 09-Jan-17 17:21:57

If you last had intercourse with ex on 27/28 August -then you would be at least 19 weeks pregnant now. So mathematically very unlikely to be ex's baby.
If you conceived on 3rd October with your partner-wouldn't that make you 14 weeks pregnant now?

PigletWasPoohsFriend Mon 09-Jan-17 17:21:58

Do both men know about each other and know you are pregnant?

EggnoggAndMulledWine Mon 09-Jan-17 17:25:06

I'd ask to get this moved op.

None of us can tell you tbh. The scan could be out four days or your ovulation test could of tested positive because of your pregnancy hormones.

Surprised you were having sex with your ex whilst you were trying for a baby with your partner. Sure your partner would love to know that.

kittytom Mon 09-Jan-17 17:30:05

I agree to get advice from a doctor rather than an Internet forum before considering anything rash. But by my calculations based on what you have said it is 99% certain to be your partners. Babies are often a few days either way at the scan and you didn't have sex with your ex any time close to this or even in this cycle? If you are having a baby I would advise refusing to see your ex again though. It sounds too confusing let alone with pregnancy hormones thrown in.

Potnoodlewilld0 Mon 09-Jan-17 17:34:00

TBH what you have just discribed is fucking awful.

You were purposely trying for a baby with your partner but were still shagging your ex unprotected? Now you think the baby you were trying for might have the wrong dad you want to get rid of if? Horrible.

Terminations are not birth control.

I hope you get found out and your poor partner leaves you. Hopefully you havnt passed any STI to him either. What a great mother your going to be...

Charley2016 Mon 09-Jan-17 17:36:24

Yeh really not the best idea to talk about having abortions in a forum full of woman trying to conceive to be honest.....

LizziLush Mon 09-Jan-17 17:38:56

Thanks Fannywisdom.

Bubblegum. It was the termination I was wasn't advice about really. Just the dates. But thanks for heads up about this other group. I was hoping maybe since I had a bleed in September then the August guy would be out as it it works out approx 4/5 weeks after that I would have conceived? The scan was 4 days bigger than the date of when my positive ovulation test was- this is confusing me.could baby be measuring big?

BabyNoggle- my 16 weeks is based on a 40 week pregnancy so from approx my lmp. That was 21St September. 30 day cycle says I should of ovulated on 5th Oct.

Piglet- both men know. My partner assumes it's his. The other is convinced it's definitely not his baby so has said I have nothing to worry about as we had sex so long ago.

EggNogg - if ovulation test could have tested positive because of pregnancy hormones, wouldn't I be further along than what scan shows? I wasn't trying for a baby with my partner. I was trying to monitor my ovulation / cycles after me taking the morning after pill.

LizziLush Mon 09-Jan-17 17:43:30

Can I just confirm that I was not trying for a baby. I was trying to actually monitor my cycles from when I had the morning after pill.

I understand the wrongness of mentioning termination in this group and also understand the wrongness of the situation I have put myself in. I just wanted to see if anyone else thought the same as me on dates. Sorry if this has offended anyone.

FannyWisdom Mon 09-Jan-17 17:44:20

Honestly lass you need the full set of tests not us guessing based on kits.

I say this with feeling not to score Internet points.
It seems far away now but these decisions have ramifications so best way is to make them knowing exactly what's what.

Good luck.

Helpmeonthisone101 Mon 09-Jan-17 17:46:21

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DaisyQueen Mon 09-Jan-17 17:48:11

When you say they both know do you mean about the pregnancy or about each other?

LizziLush Mon 09-Jan-17 17:49:48

Daisy Queen - they both know about the pregnancy

LizziLush Mon 09-Jan-17 17:51:55

I have asked for this to be moved- sorry.

teachergirl2011 Mon 09-Jan-17 17:54:02

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Munchkin1412 Mon 09-Jan-17 18:24:47

It doesn't sound like it's your ex's baby. And yes scans can measure over or under (I knew exactly what day I had conceived as was doing ovulation testing and only had sex once that month) but the 12 week scan put it three days earlier. So I wouldn't worry about that too much.

But yes seek some advice.

F1ipFlopFrus Mon 09-Jan-17 18:37:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DaisyQueen Mon 09-Jan-17 18:40:37

lizzi it's a bit shocking tbh. What happens if your bf finds out you have been having sex with your ex? You run the risk of being a single mother and by the sounds of it the ex doesnt really give a toss either so doesn't look like he isn't going to be any help if it turns out to be his. I hope it works out for you and I hope you can live with any fallout if it ever gets out

sk1pper Mon 09-Jan-17 21:16:01

*Can I just confirm that I was not trying for a baby. I was trying to actually monitor my cycles from when I had the morning after pill. *

There are these amazing things called comdoms that could have saved you a whole lot of trouble.

sk1pper Mon 09-Jan-17 21:16:58


BobbyNoggle Mon 09-Jan-17 22:16:20

Read the OP again-the bit where it says the condom split -hence MAP🤔

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