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Sex without ejaculation

(7 Posts)
MotherOfBeagles Fri 30-Dec-16 02:08:33

I'm looking for a bit of advice about trying to conceive if there is no ejaculation. My dh doesn't always ejaculate as it takes him a long time to get there and sometimes it just doesn't happen. So my question is do I still record this as sex in my fertility apps?

We're only on cycle 7 and have gotten pregnant in cycle 1 but had a miscarriage so we know it is possible. Just wondered if anyone could answer my question as google is failing me!

Thank you =]

Oysterbabe Fri 30-Dec-16 08:20:43

I think you can get pregnant with just pre-cum but it is much less likely. I would personally just write it in the notes section or something and just record the ones where he ejactulates, just so you can see which was which when you look back.

There are ladies on here who have similar problems and they solved it by their partner ejactulating into a cup and then them using a syringe.

MotherOfBeagles Fri 30-Dec-16 11:55:33

Hi oyster thanks for replying! it's not so much he doesn't enjoy it or something needs changing. He's a lot like a woman really in that if something gets in the way he just can't. Ie worried about work or money or being unwell like he has been etc etc. He's always been like this apparently, very different for me as my exes were very much a 30seconds including "foreplay" lol. He also doesn't masturbate unless its been a week or two without sex so can't finish off after as such because he genuinely has just lost it and can't finish. We haven't been dtd much anyway so it's not that and I'm not holding out hopes for this month. But shall see! My supposed test date is the morning of his 30th and there will be a lot of alcohol that day so at least I can drink if not! 

Sassy80 Mon 02-Jan-17 23:24:39

My DH is very similar and I definitely think it's because he worries a lot and worrying about not being able to "get to then end" as it were makes it worse for him. We are cycle 6 but i think I had a mmc last month but hard to say for sure.

I'm really trying to stay positive and trying to minimise the stress for DH. I think he thinks he's failing me if he doesn't go and gets upset about not being able to "make a baby". I just keep trying to remind him that we need to concentrate in enjoying each other rather than the potential end result, which is why I think this forum will help me as I don't want to vent my frustrations to my DH as i worry this will make it worse for him.

Hope your journey is successful xx

MotherOfBeagles Mon 02-Jan-17 23:33:50

sassy sorry to hear your dh is struggling it's not nice is it? You just feel like you need to vent but can't because then worry about them! Have you looked at any of the long term ttc groups? They're really helpful

MazDazzle Mon 02-Jan-17 23:36:49

It's the same with my DH.

Whilst I'm in the bath with a glass of wine to get myself in the mood, he masturbates in the bedroom (less pressure when he's on his own). When we have sex later there is a much greater chance that he'll climax. I know this is more info than you asked for, but it helped us conceive DC2 & 3!

I know too well the stress of TTC when your partner struggles to finish.

I hope you get a positive result soon!

Sassy80 Tue 03-Jan-17 09:38:26

Motherofbeagles I only joined this group 2 days ago so only posted a couple of times so far but I'll maybe look at the longer term groups thanks! I just realised I hadn't answered your initial question, I don't log the times where we have had sex but without ejaculation only the times he does as I don't expect anything to happen on those occasions.

Mazdazzle my DH says he hasn't masturbated in the 7 years we have been together (not sure I believe him but he has no reason to lie). He can go when I masturbate him (sorry TMI) and sometimes we can finish with sex and it works but not always.

This has been a fairly recent development for my DH, he used to have a really high drive (I didn't because I was on the coil) then he got cancer in 2012 6 months after we married, he's been cancer free for 2 years now but his drive has significantly slumped although the not being able to finish only started about a year ago. I changed from the coil to the pill in sept 2015 and so my drive went through the roof grinand then I haven't been on any contraception since Jun 2016.

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