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Timing! Is now a good time to be trying for a baby

4 replies

tinygreykitty · 26/12/2016 19:32

Hi,

So I'm new to mumsnet - forgive me if I've posted this in the wrong section... there didn't seem to be anything which fitted perfectly for my question so here I am...!

To give you some background, i'm 26, my husband is 37. We got married earlier last year. We own our house (well, with a mortgage!) and have no children. I have just started up my own business, and my husband has a relatively well paid job but has to work away in London every week (we live in Yorkshire).

My question is: is it better to have a child before my business (hopefully!) takes off, or after it is better established? The industry I'm in (wedding planning) doesn't lend itself well to being a mother, and prospective clients can often feel like if there is a young child in the mix, their wedding will not get the attention it deserves and so dismiss hiring these planners. As a result I know of I few planners who have had to hide the fact they have children until they are much older. This is obviously easier to do with a business in its early days, as I don't have many clients. However if we were to have a baby it's a lot of change and not the most financially stable situation.

If I'm being honest, I'm not the one pushing the issue of having children. I'm not the most maternal person ever and to be honest would be perfectly happy it being just the two of us - that's not to say I don't want kids, but I think I could live happily without. My husband desperately wants children, and I know he wants to do this sooner rather than later given his age, but I really do want to make sure my business is a success.

I know this is a bit garbled - but I just wonder if anyone else has this dilemma, or if people have experience with a new business and wanting to think about starting a family?
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SilverHoney · 26/12/2016 19:41

It might not be, but do it anyway. There is no perfect time to have children. And too many close friends have faced fertility issues, and later regret waiting for the right time.

I'm sure this won't be the case you you, but it's meant that my advice will always be to go for it.

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Rioja123 · 26/12/2016 19:41

I don't think there is ever the perfect time, and you cannot predict how long it will take to conceive

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MouseLove · 26/12/2016 20:14

Actually I disagree. I think there's a perfect time to have children... when you are BOTH ready. It sounds like you are not and that's perfectly ok if you explain that you want to focus on your career for a few years before TTC.

I'm 33, established my career, bought a house, am financially stable and both me and my DH are ready. We're TTC and although it might take us a while we are complete ready.

I see some of my friends struggle financially, moan about not having holidays or having to make the cheaper option the always option and I personally didn't want that.

I've been married for 8 yrs, and I've been constantly asked when we will have children, it's annoying, and rude and then "there's never a right time to have kids" well, there is if you make a right time!!

Good luck with your career, enjoy and be the best you can be, it's a very competitive market!! X