No longer ovulating at age 35... heartbroken

[Tibbycat]

Found out yesterday. We've just started trying for a second baby (DS is 4) on the 2nd December. I had a copper coil removed which is hormone free of course (the great benefit of them). From nowhere about ten days later I started with pain in my ovary area... went to GP, referred privately to gyno who I saw yesterday at the local Nuffield covered on my healthcare as I've had this pain recently, no possitive OV tests, night sweats for a long time, agonising boobs with the ovary pain and irregular periods - 27-4 days. Had the crappiest appointment and the last thing I thought would happen... 'I'm just getting old in fertility terms'. Every woman is different and sadly he suspects that I'm no longer ovulating, causing the folicals to swell up into cysts. It'll be confirmed Friday at a scan appointment along with treatment recommendations. Recommended to a local fertility clinic for support in trying for number two. Thinks chlomid may be the answer. Initial quotes for the tests and treatment are £900 but rising if we need anything beyond Chlomid or FSH stims. Their success rate is high.

I want Friday morning to be here so I know what's going on. Husband is very up for paying for the fertility but it's money we're saving for a life long home extension. Part of me thinks, do we give it until February. Perhaps I book an appointment for February... so I have one more month to test and try myself ... that is if AF shows up soon. The consultants words keep going through my head... he wrote my age at the top of his notes and put a huge ring around the '35', then unlined it. Every time he referred to my ovulation and how in terms of fertility I was old, he tapped the 35. Lots of 'don't delay', 'act promptly' and 'crack on with it' used... Husband is SO matter of fact. "Well it's not over yet, no point in feeling sad".... I don't think they get it. I feel a bit like the dream is over.. it's all going to get a bit medical and mechanical now. Just life though and I know it's all true... hard to hear.

Words of support and encouragement welcome. ☹️

[Tibbycat]

27-49 days! I should add hormone levels are normal.

[Hippychic79]

Hey - doctors don't know everything !!!!
Don't stop believing -
I'd recommend Accupuncture and or reflexology.
I'm 37 nearly 38 and I'm tTC #1... I didn't want to leave it this late but I was married then divorced and didn't meet my new man until a year or so ago.
Sure the stats are low for tTC over 35 but there's a good reason for this .... the majority of people don't leave it this long so they're going to be skewed ..., I'm. Not just saying that - I read it in one of my fertility books and it was backed up with figures and scientific evidence.
I'm no doctor and I'm clearly no fertility expert .... but I'm spiritually aware (not necessarily religious) and have a bit of life experience behind me. A friend of mine was diagnose with a terminal illness 8 years ago and given 6 months to live.... she's still alive today - thus my claim doctors don't know everything!!!
I would look for positive stories and evidence where people have been told the same sort of thing and what they did to overcome it first before putting yourself under stress emotionally and financially.
Try not to be too hard on your husband - he's just dealing with it differently.
The only other thing I would say - you're very lucky to have a child already xxxxx

[Jellyshoeshurtmyfeet]

I'm 39 and my egg reserve was likened to a basket of old apples where the best had been eaten and what was left are shrivelled and part their best! You must be in shock but it's early days and there are treatments available that are very effective. We left trying for a third because we didn't think there would be a problem so I would say don't hang around.

[Rockclimbingtigger]

Morning tibbycat,

Just a little message to give you a different view. I'm medical by background and I suspect the doctor was just using shorthand.

Rather than writing loads, doctors tend to write and age and then circle. The sign for female is to do a line down from the circle and then a line across to form a cross below the circle of you see what I mean. The male sign is an arrow pointing out of the circle in a north east direction.

I hope Friday brings you some answers but just wanted you to know he may not have been underlining your age but merely using recognised medical shorthand.

Hope that helps. Xxx

[kirinm]

Did the doctor do any tests? Doesn't sound like it from your OP. I saw the recurrent miscarriage clinic when I was 36. I wasn't told I was too old. Obviously we all know there's a decrease in fertility as we get older but that doesn't mean it's not treatable.

I've never taken the pill but I've seen many posts on the ttc threads where it has taken months and months for cycles to return to normal. Try not to feel too deflated.

[ElspethFlashman]

I didn't ovulate either. I was referred on, of course.

In the meantime I googled like mad and took supplements honestly just for something to do whilst waiting for the appointment. It worked and raised my progesterone enough obviously for an ovulation. I was religiously peeing on ovulation sticks and I'm glad I was as not only did it cause ovulation but a week earlier than expected so I would have missed it without the sticks.

I took big doses of vitamin b6 to increase progesterone and magnesium to inhibit oestrogen. But I'm certainly not guaranteeing it'd work for anyone else.

[sparechange]

I really wouldn't waste your time or money with acupuncture and reflexology

You could get an AMH blood test to see what your ovarian reserve is. It's about £75 from a fertility clinic which will give you a better idea of how much time you have on your side.
Depending on what your results come back with, you may want to either wait and see, or get the ball rolling with the fertility clinic

[MouseLove]

I'd give it at least 6 months of natural trying to see if you're ovulating. I can't believe they suggested it was all over and done with for you. Totally not the case. Clomid could very well work for you too. Don't lose hope!!! X

[Squidgling]

My story isn't the same but hopefully will give you some hope anyway! Basically when I came off the pill a few years ago my periods were messed up (over 100 days on the longest cycle) and they didn't regulate for about a year. In that time I went to the doctor as I was concerned as knew I wanted children in the next few years. I was referred for a transvaginal ultrasound which flagged potential issues with cysts. They were pretty vague and non committal about it all but said I would most likely have trouble conceiving and to go back after trying for 6 months. Long story short I got pregnant the first month of trying after dtd only 3 times! So the doctors aren't always right, there is always room for hope and you can try fertility drugs to help as well. Good luck. I hope it all works out for you

[Tibbycat]

Thank you everyone... so I've ordered some Vit B6.... really helpful advice and I'm keeping as calm as possible with Friday ahead. It's our six year wedding anniversary on Thursday and we're off out to celebrate somewhere so special so I don't want to ruin it. My husband really is my soul mate and bestest friend in the world and I don't want to push him away.

I feeling quite positive this evening after reading all of your comments. Maybe I'm not ovulating every month but I think it's worth giving nature a go. I conceived our son in a heartbeat, literally (husband was delighted but gutted there wasn't more 'practice' time) .

I feel like AF is coming... the usual dragging feeling and twinges so that's good news in my case as I'm on day 30 which is in the realms of normality if it does start. I'll keep in touch x

[Iamthecatsmother]

I had a cycle of IVF which failed in 2002. I was told by the embryologist that all my eggs failed to fertilise and this was the cause of our infertility which had been unexplained until then. I was told that if DH had millions of sperm and there were 50 of my eggs in an IVF situation, one MAY fertilise to produce an embryo. So we had ICSI resulting in DS. I then decided to give up, couldn't cope with anymore, I immediately conceived twins naturally. Sadly I miscarried. A year later, I conceived naturally again. I lost that one too. Three months later I was pregnant again, this time it was DD.

The point is the drs don't know everything, they didn't in my case certainly. And I was 37 when I had DD. So don't give up, keep going and don't loose heart.

[NiceFalafels]

Ovulation prediction tests can be misleading I must say. Have you had a day 21 progesterone test? If so, what were the results? Needs to be above 30, although my private specialist liked to see them 40 +

I have 4 kids. My eldest was conceived without problem. The other three conceived with clomid. My periods had started to change slightly, I had cysts on my ovaries and my eggs weren't mature enough (day 21 progesterone test had scores ranging from 7 to 24). I had 3 cycles of 50mg clomid for x many days to conceive DC 2 & 3, 4 cycles increasing up to 100mg clomid to conceive DC 4. It's a magic tablet and particularly effective with women who need a bit of a boost. I have 2 friends (in late 20's) who have never ever had a period at all and clomid hasnt worked. There are other treatments available though and amazingly Both have got pregnant but it has taken quite a while. It's been a long journey.

Be patient. Expect any proposed solution to take months of TTC.

[Tibbycat]

Ladies help... were all my symptoms pregnancy??? Digital says no. This is a first response.

[sparechange]

I can see a line!

[ElspethFlashman]

I'd definitely test again tomorrow......

[NiceFalafels]

That looks like a positive. Not an evap line. Test again tomorrow. If you do some research you will find that some tests are far more sensitive then others. I used to use Tescos own (not digital)

[Hippychic79]

I can see a line!
xxxx

[MumOfTwoMasterOfNone]

Looks like a line to me

[DatsunCogs]

I think yes too. That would be wonderful news

[midlifehope]

what hippy said. Also try homeopathy - it gotmy cycle back after the pill.

[heebiejeebie]

No it didn't @midlifehope

[heebiejeebie]

I retract that -the placebo may well have helped with your stress levels which helped with your cycle.

[twentyeightt]

I think congratulations are in order!

[midlifehope]

sorry Heebie - it actually did - despite what you might think - 2 times - once after pill and once after having DD2..... the night after taking it. You have no way of disproving what I am saying, even if you are a 'medic'. You know your own body.

[middlings]

That's definitely a line. Test again in the morning.

As a veteran of fertility treatment, you should never do the first test with a digital test. I didn't start using them until around 5.5 weeks at which point I used them every two days for about ten days and then had a scan.

But, if you're not, and as someone upthread said, have a set of eggs like a basket of old apples, be aware that all is not lost. I have practically no AMH, ovulate extremely irregularly, had multiple rounds of IVF to have DD1 and barely had to look at DH to conceive DD2 eight months later.

Good luck!