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surro OE need advise

(9 Posts)
sadness34 Mon 12-Dec-16 12:33:22

hi, every body, as I new here I’ve never write for such forums/ the fact that I want to tell you my story, sorry for my mistakes.I hope somebody can help me. My name is Lainie, I’m 38 year old/ When I was young I’ve got married. My honeymoon was perfect and I thought my life with my love will be like this but , you know as it said don’t judge the book by its cover. The same was my life. After some time I’ve got pregnant, the air was full of happiness and love/ but my child died inside me, on his 2nd week, I was crashed in small pieces/ But my husband supported me and after some tome I’ve got pregnant again. the doctor said that everything was going great so hoped it to be great/ on 22 week of my pregnancy I suddenly felt that my bady didn’t move/ My husband drove me to the hospital and again. the doctor said – he is dead, he made an artificial birth. After that I had a lot of problems, especially mental, caused I already started to love my baby. I didn’t want to live and other bad things, my life become empty.
After 3 years I’ve got pregnant again, I really didn’t want to be, but God knows all and he decided to give me this baby. I was careful all the time, ate healthy food, slept enough only positive vibes.
You’ve lost your baby, I hate this words, I wanted to kill my doc, how could say this. It was the last drop in my cup, I told my husband that I didn’t want to have children anymore, never again
My uterus was in terrible scars, also began to grow fibroids. I thought worse can’t be. I had a constant depression, bad mood all the time. My husband was on the verge of collapse.
My sister advised me to try surrogacy on my own eggs but find a donor for me/ It was like a breath of fresh air. I started to read about it, but I don’t know how’s it like to be, I mean the searching the place, right people, conditions.
I’m worrying about it, if someone can help me I will be very grateful/ thank you in advance

walsh86 Mon 12-Dec-16 13:08:47

Hi sadness I havent done surrogacy so have no advice im afraid but just wanted to say how sorry I am you have had to go through this! I really do hope you have your happy ending! I think surrogacy is an amazing thing

haveacupoftea Mon 12-Dec-16 13:58:00

Have you considered counselling for your losses?

sadness34 Mon 12-Dec-16 14:43:25

Thank you for support, I'm glad that someone can say me good words because my family stops to understand me, thank you

mannamay Wed 14-Dec-16 10:42:31

hello sadness, i'm so sorry for your loss, it's really unpleasant situation but you still can have a baby of your own, so don't be upset. I haven't experience in surrogacy but i know few couples who went through this and now the are happy parents. if your ovaries functions well so it's not a problem. you will be stimulated and after eggs retrieval they would be fertilized with your husband's sperm 'in vitro' and a surrogate mother will play a role of a home for your embies.
You need to find a counrty where surrogacy is legal. I have been to Ukraine for my IVF on DE and I know they have surrogacy there

sadness34 Thu 15-Dec-16 08:31:24

hello, mannamay, thank you for your great words. you are right, I really want to have the baby and I know that have all chances for it but a little hesitation inside me. what is this mom won't give this baby to me or my husband couldn't cope with such stress. I know one example when husband leave wife and started to live with surro because she was bearing his child. I'm devastated and don't know what to do. I thought I could find support here

BestBeastie Thu 15-Dec-16 09:07:37

Reallly sorry that you're having a hard time. flowers

Most people on this board won't know too much about surrogacy. I don't either, but I've known one couple so it in the US (they were us citizens)

You'll find better info and support on the surrogacy board I should imagine - have you tried there?

Im sure you will find a good solution. There are many people who have very positive experiences with surrogates and there's no reason why - with careful research - you shouldn't either.

lainie68 Thu 15-Dec-16 10:29:54

hey dear, cheer up and enjoy your life. everything will be ok. im not aware of such issues but i think that's great that you want to go throught this. vish you good luck and let Christams vibes helpyou you to create miracle

sadness34 Fri 16-Dec-16 10:03:39

Thank you very much for support I even don't know what to do, I hope that I'll find someone who will help me here.

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