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When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Conception

Lights twinkle, it's icy cold outside, 'tis the season of Yuletide, come and join us - yes you! For this is JS62!

999 replies

Ain626 · 04/12/2016 10:52

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.


JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 61 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
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Ain626 · 04/12/2016 11:04

Name: Ain
Age: 29
TTC: Forever! 2 years 5 months. Sad
DC: None.

For those that don't remember/have joined us since I disappeared for a while... I have PCOS, my cycles are messed up. I take metformin, though not convinced it helps....

OP posts:
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angelazul · 04/12/2016 11:26

Thanks for the new fred Ain

Name: Angel
Age: 34
TTC: #1 since Aug 2015

DH has anti-sperm antibodies so icsi is quite a real possibility for us, second appointment with fc in a couple of weeks.

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Glitterbubble · 04/12/2016 11:41

Hello everyone.... (Waves) Grin
Thought I would take this new thread as the opportunity to stop lurking and start posting!

Name: Glitter
Age: 25
TTC: #1 ...first month of trying

Here to support, laugh and cry with like minded ladies and symptom spot. Keeping this between DH and myself until we get that BFP! Want to keep this journey as private as possible, so will be nice to have ladies to discuss with ....if you will have me of course?! Blush

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justtheonethen · 04/12/2016 12:32


Name: just
Age: 34
TTC: 2 years 4 months Sad
DC: a big fat 0
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justtheonethen · 04/12/2016 12:32

Welcome glitter Smile

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blackcherries · 04/12/2016 12:40

Name: cherries
Age: 35
DC: ds1, age 2
Ttc: #2, on cycle 9
Cd28

Have recently started tests etc with private FC, awaiting results and more tests! Nothing obv wrong but conceived ds1 on first cycle and wanted a close age gap.
Regular 25/26 day cycles except last month and this one, hopefully lengthening by a day or two.

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Ain626 · 04/12/2016 13:02

Welcome Glitter of course we would love to have you! Grin

OP posts:
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kwick · 04/12/2016 13:56

Thanks Ain!!! Sorry I am a dummy did not see hyperlink!!

I am kwick and I have been TTC since it feels like fcuking forever last summer, with first completed IUI in September 2015. Since then I have done 6 IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF. One BFP which resulted in a MC. Got BFN on Friday and AF arrived today.

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kwick · 04/12/2016 13:57

Welcome glitter!

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corgi88 · 04/12/2016 14:34

Thanks Ain for shiny new Fred!
Welcome glitter!

Name: corgi
Age: 28
TTC: since last June
DC: 0 but 1 naughty corgi who is light of my life

Battle-scarred veteran of 2xMCs, now 9+6 and anxious anxious anxious. Bicornuate uterus and underactive thyroid to add to my many gimpinesses..... Still too superstitious to go to grads yet so lurking here Grin
Sorry about af kwick.
Also sorry about af just. I really want it to happen for you. Gx that you get on the ivf list and have a plan soon Brew

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ZylaB · 04/12/2016 17:10

Name: Zyla
Age : 39 (eek!)
Ttc #2 since mc in May, not sure if things are working properly so FB appointment in Jan. Fx for this cycle but not really holding my breath as naughty ovulation sticks are contradicting each other about whether I am actually ovulating any more, though my ons/gynae SIL says I must be as having regular periods...

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justtheonethen · 04/12/2016 17:49

Regular periods don't mean you're ovulating necessarily!
Gx that it happens for you soon. FC appointment is a good proactive step

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NovaArt3mis · 04/12/2016 21:04

Hi Smile Finally decided to de-lurk after... well, longer than I'm willing to admit Blush

Name: Nova
Age: 26
TTC: #1 since March 2015 with a couple of breaks.

Ovulating tomorrow I think not that I occasionally use contraband so got some action tonight and will be due to test around 23rd-ish. Would love to get my hopes up for an occupied womb for Christmas but eventually you just start to get a bit 'meh, never gonna happen' don't you.

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SofiePendragon · 04/12/2016 21:25

Hi all! I'd like to join you if that's OK?

Name: Sofie
Age: 36
Ttc: #2 since August 2015 with a couple of breaks

I'm currently on Cd59 and had the whitest Bfn ever yesterday using a frer. No signs that Af is on her way either. Not really sure I've even ovulated to be honest (haven't seen any ewcm so far this cycle) but we've decided to keep dtd regularly in the hope my ovaries decide to wake up at some point.

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angelazul · 04/12/2016 21:34

Welcome nova & glitter. Nova I know that feeling very well, I seem to have it most of the time now.

Zyla, what just said.

Feeling a bit pms-ey today & it's only blooming cd22, I just hope I can eek a few more days out of this cycle. I think we'll probably take a break next cycle, dh is doing more extras work for GOT & working ridiculously long hours so there's practically no shagging going on Angry

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justtheonethen · 04/12/2016 21:40

Hi newbies

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kwick · 04/12/2016 21:43

Ain have you tried Inofolic for your PCOS? Take a look at www.inofolic.co.uk

Welcome nova and sofie!!!

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ChatEnOeuf · 04/12/2016 22:43


Thanks for the new Fred, Ain

Chat, 35
Babies: DD, 5, DS 36/40 stillbirth, 3xMCs, now 21w (Shock) with DC3
Fur babies: One incontinent tabby

Welcome, newbies!
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blackcherries · 04/12/2016 23:13

angelazul ooh the GOT thing sounds like fun...? Not for you ttc though I bet.

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TurquoiseDress · 04/12/2016 23:39

Hello everyone (waves!)

Name: Turquoise
Age: 38 Xmas Shock
TTC: #2 since miscarriage at 13 weeks back in the summer
Have a LO aged 2

Previous 2 pregnancies, conceived straight away after stopping the combined pill, had been on it for over a decade

On cycle 5 now, CD18 & wondering what is going on.

Have ditched BBT charting but will admit to an occasional OPK- strong positive yesterday & back to negative today.

Fingers crossed for all of us!Xmas Smile

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sparklyfizz · 05/12/2016 00:17

Hi can I join? Smile

Name: sparkles or fizz
Age: 39
TTC: 2 years and 5 months
DC: 1 DS age 4

I'll keep my story as quick as poss. Ttc ds took 5 months, this time round it's just not happening.
I've lurked on this board for a ridiculously long time so thought I would join you.
Usually feel bitter and end up posting in infertility but have decided positivity is the way forward from now.
Despite a reluctant GP had blood tests and scan which have shown nothing is wrong.
Anyway I can't wait to join in the js conversations Grin- despite the lack of a bfp DH and I are still pretty enthusiastic about the shagging so this seems the best place to be. CD5 here - last month the bitch af was 2 days late which turned me into an absolute nutter frantically testing so if nothing else I need you lovely lot to stop me from wasting far too much money on pointless testing Wink

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cookielove · 05/12/2016 07:09

Waves 😀

Name: cookie
Age: 34
Dc: Ds who is 2
Ttc: technically haven't started yet, was planning to start in November pushed it back to Feb for serveral reasons, finances and worried about a 2nd premature birth being most of them Blush

Accidentally keep dtd during fertile week so what will be will be!

And after several months of short cycles i finally got a 29 day period Grin very happy

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kwick · 05/12/2016 07:57

Welcome turquoise and sparkly!!!!

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angelazul · 05/12/2016 08:12

Black the long hours in the cold & rain wouldn't be my idea of fun, but he seems to enjoy it. Spending every day with Jon Snow, on the other hand ....

Yay, more newbies, welcome!!

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CountryGal4 · 05/12/2016 14:36

Country of country/just fame here!

Here to provide sarcasm rudeness and swears Smile

just well within you rights to your meltdown. It's bloody hard abd keeping the stuffed in isn't going to help anyone. Bless dh (Shock) what a trooper he is. Reckon you've got a good un there. Have you got a FC this month? Surely they have to put you on the list now?! Wine

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