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(16 Posts)
HeyJupiter Sun 20-Nov-16 08:44:23

Hi everyone,

So DH and I want to start trying for our first baby. I'm nearly 33 and he's 35. I've lost two stone over the last year which has brought my BMI down to 30.9. My cycles are regular and I tried an ovulation kit which says I'm ovulating regularly.

My query is whether we put off trying for a baby for another 6-12 months whilst I try and shift more weight? All guidance I've read highlights risks in pregnancy when obese and it's made me worry whether it's dangerous of me to even try whilst still technically in obese BMI range! Also don't want to face health professionals that might make me feel ashamed.

I'm 6ft and very healthy in all other ways, relatively fit and active and carry all my weight on my bottom half (classic pear shape!) I've been overweight/obese for most of my adult life.

The other option is continuing to diet whilst TTC - have been doing low calorie via myfitnesspal (1300 calories a day) but not sure that's safe either.

Honestly I'd just like to crack on and have a baby smile

Would be good to hear thoughts though...

MrsG280516 Sun 20-Nov-16 08:55:48

Honestly, it's an entirely personal decision. If you will likely spend 9 months feeling ashamed of your weight then I would suggest just giving it a bit longer and pushing to get under BMI 30. Unfortunately you'll probably put more weight on whilst pregnant and then it can be even harder to get off once the baby is born and you really want to be as fit and healthy as possible to look after them.

A few years ago I also lost around 3 stone to go from obese to a healthy BMI and I'm so glad I did it. I feel it just puts you in a safer position, any problems that arise during pregnancy can't be "blamed" on your weight, so to speak.

HeyJupiter Sun 20-Nov-16 11:11:32

Thanks for your advice MrsG. I think you're right that it might be worth pushing to get my BMI at least under 30. I think realistically I'm not easily or quickly going to get into a healthy range and I don't want to put off pregnancy for years in order to attain that. Although I'm not old I don't want to leave trying for the first time until my mid-30s just in case I do run into problems.

I might set a time limit of say February and see where I'm at then. I think even if I'm just into 'overweight' rather than 'obese' I'll feel more reassured that I'm doing this as safely as possible. I should be able to lose another stone in that time if I work hard at it. I don't think I'd feel ashamed throughout my pregnancy but also don't want to feel blamed, as you say, for any problems that potentially could arise.

Thank you smile

WantingBaby1 Sun 20-Nov-16 12:38:54

I asked the Dr about this on my last visit. Id lost a stone which brought me down to a 26 bmi. Not obese but just into the overweight category. Dr advised I try to lose some if poss before ttc. She said it's more to do with how I feel than having a healthy pregnancy, and that if overweight the midwife and Dr will automatically put me into an "at risk" category which could affect enjoyment of being pregnant. Something to consider. Bmi isn't perfect though, and you may well be far fitter and healthier at 30.9 than I at 25.9!

HeyJupiter Sun 20-Nov-16 12:57:27

Thanks Wanting.. I think that's my concern, that I'd spend the pregnancy worrying about being in an "at risk" category rather than just enjoying it. From what I've heard though that it much less likely if I'm "just" overweight rather than obese so think I need to head for dropping under a BMI of 30. That's much more achievable than being 25 or under!

It's funny, I'm a nurse and tell my patients all the time how imperfect BMI is (it really is, for many reasons) yet I've got myself all obsessed with it. But it does have some value and I appreciate your feedback.

haveacupoftea Sun 20-Nov-16 13:46:58

In my trust, you only get classed as high risk if your BMI is 35+. My pregnancy is consultant led due to high BMI but any issues are addressed and managed, it's just one of those things.i'll be attending a weight management clinic too.

In your position I would probably diet whilst TTC as age also affects fertility and conceiving can take a good few months.

HeyJupiter Sun 20-Nov-16 18:02:50

Thanks haveacupoftea, I think I'd probably moderate my diet a lot whilst TTC but not sure safe to be on 1200-1300 calories a day as might not be getting all that I need for the baby. Gah, it's really hard. Was talking to my mum today and she said that her weight was never mentioned when she had my sister and I (and she probably would have been somewhere close to where I am now BMI wise) in the 1980s. Seemed simpler then (but not so safe probably)!!

MouseLove Sun 20-Nov-16 18:48:52

I could have written your post myself. 33 in just over a week, lost 2 stone this year. However my BMI is 33. I was a speed swimmer in my youth and I was still big. I have a large frame. The BMI system is absolutely pointless. It's about how fit and healthy you feel too. My blood pressure is low, I go to the gym twice a week and eat a healthy diet no fads. I'm TTC. My weight is not a concern for me personally and whatever will be will be.

MrsCharlieD Sun 20-Nov-16 19:41:57

I fell pregnant when obese, we weren't trying at the time. I had a consultant led pregnancy which meant I saw a consultant probably 4 times during my pregnancy. Other than that I was treated normally, had a healthy pregnancy and normal delivery with no interventions. We're considering dc2 now and I will be trying to lose weight first as I may not be lucky a second time round but I was in no way made to feel like a freakshow. I worried about the scans and things and had no issues at all. Good luck!

HeyJupiter Sun 20-Nov-16 19:47:09

Mouselove - thanks so much for your positive message. I recognise your name from the 'First time ttc' board so may join you and the others over there after xmas when I think we'll start trying properly smile I feel very healthy in myself and very ready (emotionally and physically) which is probably the most important thing. Can I ask, are you taking higher amounts of folic acid? Again I read somewhere that you have to take 5mg daily prior to conception if BMI above 30. I assume this is prescription only though.

MrsCharlieD - Thanks for the good luck! Really pleased to hear that you've been treated respectfully (can't imagine why you wouldn't be, as we've said BMI is questionable!) and all worked out with your DC1. Good luck with trying for your next.

Feefeefs Sun 20-Nov-16 20:06:38

I'm 28, BMI was 32 prior to falling pregnant having lost 12kg prior to this. Had open honest conversation with GP who advised time more important than weight as otherwise no health issues. She advised to start anytime and continue my diet (I am an AHP specialising in diet) the guidance on all of this is very unclear.

Anyway I have been treated as an individual throughout my pregnancy. I was totally worried I would be hassled endlessly but it has been a complete non-issue.

I have had no issues throughout the pregnancy and have been classed as green pathway midwife led care. Have had some pelvic girdle pain but otherwise perfectly healthy (the pgp may or may not be related to and/or exacerbated by weight.

There is never a perfect time in life for anything

MouseLove Sun 20-Nov-16 21:25:34

Come on over to the thread Jupiter, say hi and get into the swing of things. All the ladies are soooo lovely.

I'm taking centrum pre-pregnancy vitamins, no extra folic acid as doc suggested it wasn't needed, which contain the following

Each tablet contains

Vitamin E (a-TE)
Vitamin C
Vitamin B1 (Thiamin)
Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin)
Vitamin B6
Vitamin B12
Vitamin D
Folic Acid
Niacin (NE)
Pantothenic Acid

MouseLove Sun 20-Nov-16 21:31:11

Urgh well that didn't show up correctly. Lol sorry.

delilahbucket Sun 20-Nov-16 22:14:54

I started to lose weight before TTC. I spent three months and got my BMI below 30. As it happens I continued losing weight and I've just begun cycle 22 with no hint of pregnancy. My BMI is now 26 and I have been maintaining it for just over a year. I would say continue dieting while TTC. Just be aware than if your BMI is over 30 when you have your initial booking in midwife appointment (anywhere between 8-12 weeks) then you may be considered high risk and your birthing and care choices can be limited. This varies in different areas though. Where I live it is a BMI of over 35 because there are too many women over 30 for them to cope with.

haveacupoftea Sun 20-Nov-16 22:21:01

Dieting while TTC won't affect baby as there won't be a baby to affect yet. Just make sure you're getting 5 a day and take conception vitamins then when you get your positive hpt you can up your calories according to your BMR.

HeyJupiter Mon 21-Nov-16 09:06:06

Thanks all, it’s been really helpful to get some other perspectives.

Haveacupoftea – very good point! I think dieting in a moderate way (say 1500 calories a day), making sure I have my 5 a day and vitamins would be fine. I think this is what I’m going to do because as you say conceiving could actually take ages.

Mouse- thanks for the vitamin breakdown, I’ve been taking folic acid and vitamin D but will look into multivitamins. I will also join you lovely ladies over on the TTC board asap.

Deliliah – I think it’s the same in the Trust here too. Although over 30 is classified as obese, it isn’t really considered an issue until over 35.

Feefeefs - my GP friend has said something similar. Although I'm not old I know that time isn't on my side in the way that it is for others.

Feeling miles better, thanks everyone.

Going to just get on with it I think (shame DH away for the next month!)

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