Money worries - can we really afford to have a baby?

[BabyKangaroo90]

Hi Everyone,

I'm looking for some advice as I'm becoming a little nervous about ttc!

We have only been ttc for 4 months and last month I had a Chemical Preganancy (unconfirmed) but all the signs are there. And this may sound silly but it feels so much more real now and the doubts have started to creep in!

My partner and I are in a very loving relationship. He is 30 and I'm 26. We are both on (IMO) an okay salary, he's on 24k and I'm on 26k. So we're not living the life of luxury but we make ends meet. We are renting at the moment as we are not and will not be in the near future in the position to buy a house. Also we both have very supportive families although we aren't telling them that we are ttc but we know they would both be thrilled!

I know raising a child is expensive business and I also know that there's never a "right" time to have a child.

I'm just not sure if I should be worried or not? Any advice? Or has anyone been in a similar position?

[Hellmouth]

I am 32, my DP is 27. I earn 25k, he is on 20k

DS was unplanned, but we can just about afford him, especially with DP's parents offering to help with childcare.

Have you done a budget and worked out how much exactly you will be spending on childcare? You could look up your postcode on childcare.co.uk

If you will need to move to a bigger place, it's worth doing research on that now.

[BabyKangaroo90]

Well we currently live in a 2 bed house so space is not an issue and I know we could cut back on a quite a few unnecessary things.

Thanks for replying though, it brings me comfort!

[sleepyhead]

The biggest expense, ime, is loss of earnings (mat leave, going part time if that's what you want) and child care costs if you need to pay while you work. Everything else is minor in comparison and can be scaled up or down to furniture budget.

If I were you then I'd work out what you'd have to live on if you were on mat leave and/or back at work paying for childcare and then live on that amount to see how it feels. Save the rest so you've got a buffer for when you do take time off.

[sleepyhead]

Furniture budget ? I never had a furniture budget. You know what I mean

[Hellmouth]

You're welcome :)

See if you can get childcare vouchers through work as well :)

And you can get decent clothes in primark for kids. DS spends most of his time in sleepsuits so I just get multipacks from there.

[BabyKangaroo90]

Thanks sleepyhead that's a great idea! I will do that. Yes that's the initial worry. My other half is very much relaxed about it all and always replies with "it will all work out" which is not helpful to my overthinking brain! Haha

[BabyKangaroo90]

Hell mouth good advice! Thank you. I do love a primark bargain! X

[HerOtherHalf]

We started my family early, against the trend of most of our peers who tended towards waiting until they were financially established. Our logic, right or wrong, was that kids benefit more from parents who have some youthful energy than half their mortgage cleared. I'm so glad we went early. Sure we had some periods of scrimping and scraping but we had great times as well. More importantly, I'm 50 now and my youngest has just finished further education, we're enjoying being grandparents and early retirement is highly likely. When I look at friends my age whose kids are yet to go into secondary school I am so glad we didn't wait.

[Wanderingraspberry]

If you worry, you won't do it. You'll manage. We have 2 children and earn substantially less than you. We cut our cloth accordingly, the children bring more joy than money ever could and whilst they have less than some children they have more than others and don't go without.

[bigmeff]

We found out about DS1 at 26 weeks .... I think now if we would have waited until we had enough money then we would not have children yet. DS1 is 9... I was 30 and DH was 28. We now had DS 7 and DD 5 too.
We are comfortable !!!

[BabyKangaroo90]

Aww thank you all for being so positive in your replies. You really are putting my mind at ease x

[MrsCharlieD]

Ds was a happy surprise but after the initial shock the reality suddenly sent it and I went into a blind panic. Dh earns about 35k with overtime and I earn 21k plus my company car. During my pregnancy we cut our spending massively and managed to save 2.5k in 7 months. We were very lucky that parents bought pram and carse at and my grams bouget yhe nursery furniture. At the time we were renting but at the end of my mat leave we actually managed to get on the property ladder by doing help to buy on a new build. Naturally your spending habits change once you have a child as eating out, treats, trips to the cinema etc pretty much stop. You will find a way to make it work and honestly there is so much stuff you really don't need to buy. Our nursery went unused for 9 months! Good luck with ttc x

[delilahbucket]

I can offer two sides to this story. Ds I had when I was 22. I worked full time on £14k a year and his dad earned nothing. He was unplanned and it was a real struggle but I managed on my salary thanks to ebay and second hand stuff. I think the only thing that was the major issue about having no money was that I couldn't afford to get out and see people and was hit with post natal depression (although there were other circumstances at home that made things worse).
Now I'm 31, with a new partner, amazing house and jobs, never been so stable in every aspect of my life. We were told in July we will struggle to conceive without icsi due to antisperm antibodies. To add to that my egg supply is dwindling and time is not on our side. Icsi will cost us nearly £5000.
Take from that what you will.

[BabyKangaroo90]

Thank you both for your replies. Delilahbucket good luck in ttc again, I really hope it goes your way. You never know what life is going to throw at you so I think I need to set my worries aside and think practically. I'm sure we would be able to manage. I need to stop worrying about what other people think (I worry because a lot of the time I'm saying no to going out a lot because we are trying to save) and just do what is right for us